European, Fiverr Seller Interview #1 – The Highlights

Average Read Time: 14-17 minutes.

Link to precursory article on Fiverr can be found here

Question One:

Why do you think that is? What does having a monetary transaction in the middle of a social interaction do to sweeten the experience for those that buy in? How does it make it more appealing method of interaction, than simply any other method of meeting others online that exists for free?

“I think its because they know 100% that they are going to get it. Paying for services like this adds a degree of security and removes a sizable amount of social unpredictability for the buyer, because there are rules and regulations involved. The buyer is allowed to pick the time, location, what we'll be doing or chatting about. They're in control of the situation. And because of the financial investment involved, coupled with the seller wanting good reviews, both parties are heavily incentivized to show up and partake.

This can also help with anxious people. An anxious person being able to choose the boundaries, the setting, or the amount of time will spent together, means that both people can settle into conversing with each other much more quickly and without as much angst or awkwardness. Both parties know what will be taking place and how much time they have. Even better, the buyer knows that their companion isn't just going to hang up the call or wander off on them if they act a little too shy or don't have much to say at first. And I've seen that this guarantee can help them open up sooner, rather than later. Maybe that happens to them a lot, right? Maybe they aren't listened to by their family or peers; cut short in every conversation... Here, with a little bit of money involved, they have a guarantee that someone will be there for them. And in turn, they also get to practice their social skills.

As an additional point to your question: some people like just being alone with someone. And that's very hard, ya know? Because you'd have to convince a new person that you've only just met, to come into a private area with you, “just to talk”. And of course, in real life, an action like that is going to be seen as extremely awkward and seem suspicious. The stranger would likely feel an impending red flag – like there might be an ulterior motive being your intent or that you're attempting to pull them away from a safe location to take advantage of them, jump them, or whatever. But here, all the rules of conduct are laid out and usually backed up by the platform itself. That does mean it usually come with a payment being involved though for the service itself.

It's kind of sad the human world can be so unsafe. Because in truth, the person asking for a more private location to chat may be simply coy; uncomfortable in crowded areas but a great conversationalist. Someone who just doesn't have a fitting environment. They might be entirely innocent, but nobody in their right mind would likely chance it.”

Question Two:

“Oh yeah, absolutely. Having a block feature is great for sure. This is why people pay for online services as well. You could go outside and meet someone new, you don't know who they are and you might feel trapped. Alternatively, you could book an hour session online with someone – and if you don't like them, you can leave at once and you never have to see them again. But, if you like them, you can keep going back to them. Maybe even for free outside of services.

So to be clear, with Fiverr: if either of you make each other seriously uncomfortable, you're allowed to leave, yeah?

“Yes, under certain circumstances we're allowed to dip out on them if they're being inappropriate, abusive, stuff like that. But if they're just really awkward or of a weird nature, we can't do much about that and you just stick it out.”

Question Three:

“Well... I'd say they're just very inconsistent and unreliable. They're the reverse of what I mentioned a minute ago. If you're somebody who lacks self-confidence or feels that you just can't wait to have somebody right now, that kind of wading in the water isn't going to cut it. You can waste so many nights or months on different platforms; sitting there staring at walls of text, trying to find somebody respectable – let alone someone you'd like to call a friend. Then, you send out some messages and people constantly ghost you – either due to their uncaring nature or their own insecurities. It's really difficult to find someone who'll stick with you.”

Question Four

“I did actually consider using ePal.gg once. That's a site where you can get a lot of different companion services, especially when hiring buddies to play games with you and what not. It was originally titled “eGirl.gg” but, they changed the name so that guys would be inclined to join the platform and host companion services themselves. Lots of male teens and adults are there now, offering similar services that the girls are providing.”

“But I don't know... Once I saw the kinds of people that frequented and used the site, I said 'Nah, that's not for me.' and give it a big pass. I had heard some bizarre and uncomfortable stories about clients having troubles with upper-management, down to sellers not having much in the way of protections when buyers would try to scam extra stuff out of them. All allegedly, of course! haha But yes, I skipped that service entirely.

It advertised itself too much like you were hiring out female escorts in the beginning. But instead of having sex, you were gonna play some video games and fall in love or some shit. I still think it has that sort of veneer to it, but that's largely down to how people portray themselves on there for extra clicks. It seems the site, on the surface at least, has tried cracking down on that a bit.”

Question Five:

“I met with someone in VRChat (an online social platform) who was planning on doing it themselves. This was around a time that I was planning on taking art commissions. So I was like, 'Okay! I can just make a Fiverr account and when I start getting good at art or find a style that I like, I can start selling from there!'

Eventually I began to see people on Fiverr selling VRChat stuff. Basically like one-on-one hangouts. And I was like 'Oh! I like VRChat! I have a VR headset! I have full body tracking! Why not?!'

“I've been doing this for around 5 months now. So not that long, but long enough to have my fair share of people. I've definitely gotten some weird ones... but I stay away from them.

“I have to say: one advantage of doing this online is that you can preemptively vet the buyer's intentions coming in pretty easily. On top of this, a good thing about it is that you can just block them if they become a problem. And that is something you can't just do in public or in person.”

Question Six

In a world with billions of people bustling about, can you explain to me why someone might go out of their way to pay someone to interact with them over the internet or by phone?

“Well, online you can pretty much act however you want and be whatever persona you choose for that day. People will have no expectations based on how you look, your skin color, or how you dress. A really ratty-looking person might have a great heart and be a great chat; a well-dressed person with styled hair might liable to be an absolute menace. What I'm getting at is, people, consciously or not, judge a lot on first appearances. And a lot of people won't approach people who look a certain way. Whether its race, clothing or presentation – maybe even bad past experiences. You might do nothing wrong in meeting someone new and you'll remind somebody of an abuser or a bad moment in their life, and they'll distance themselves from you for that instinctively. What we generally base our first encounters on are largely superficial. What people usually want in an environment online is to be themselves with other people.

In real life, people also expect consistency. If you think of your workplace or within your own family: most people expect you to basically always feel or act the same no matter what. If you've changed too much, they'll think you've gone loony or become irrational.

Haha, yes I've been there. People often only enjoy keeping others around as mementos so they can feel better in their memories. They keep others around like you would a painting or old photograph. They want something that they can look back on for comfort and then set back on the shelf for later, rather than treating others as breathing individuals, don't they?

“Exactly! There might be a real fear of ostracization inherent in acting how you feel within the real world too! Whether you're at your workplace, in your home, or with the people you claim to know. But online, in VRChat or something similar, variety and splashes of absurdity are expect. The rules for how to behave are a bit more relaxed and they come without as many consequences. You get to mirror how you feel or act as you please, within reason.

“People also might enjoy the shift in power that comes with an online space. If they feel unqualified, they can be on a more even playground with their companion. Online someone could be “Warlord _” whatever; but in real life they're a cleaner at McDonalds – they're not in an environment where they're taken seriously because of there status maybe. Perhaps they're not in an environment where it is safe to be outspoken for risk of losing a job, losing their housing, or without facing serious discrimination, etc.

“I think online companion services are for people who are in a pinch and are curious. They might feel like online they're more important, and therefore have more confidence to be social. Maybe they'll feel like people respect them a bit more. You might find people venturing to try things online that you wouldn't expect in the physical world.”

Question Seven

“I've had quite a wide variety of people coming in!

1. I've had someone who was another Fiverr seller looking for advice on doing this kind of service. 2. I've had some who were kind of lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. 3. I've had two up-and-coming YouTubers who were both looking for content on their channels. So we made a couple of videos. 4. I've also had another one just like you: somebody who wanted to talk and ask me questions about VRChat & Fiverr companionship sales.

That's the kind of people I've had. Most were pretty young, late teens and largely from America, with Canada and Australia sprinkled in. Everyone has mostly has been really sweet and pleasurable. There are some creepy people, yeah, but I weed them out well before it gets to them even buying a session.”

Question Eight

There is a sizable portion of society which tends to stigmatize men seeking emotional help, compassion or just having an ear be lent to their problems, from other men. Given your experience with a mainly male demographic hiring you, what would you say would be a good way to break down that stigmatization amongst men? And what do you think would be a good way to get men involved in socializing more deeply with one another and going against that stigmatization? What kind of environment would you think you ought to place them in?

“I would say you ought to give men a place where they don't feel the need to have to show off just to be justified. Some place that they're allowed to 'let their hair down', so to speak. Its got to be hard trying to seek help with your emotions when you're socially supposed to be seen as this... walking refrigerator who powers through every emotional boulder that's dropped on your head, haha!

So really you just need a space where that expectation of how you're supposed to be seen by others is non-existent.

They have that in like, men's health or rehab groups, but I just wish that that was a normal occurrence just in daily life. Men, especially more emotional or sensitive men, have a really rough time of it. Then again, anybody who's not an absolute brick in this world has a really rough time of it, aye? hahah!

It would help both sides a lot I think. A lot of dangerous things come from repressing yourself, whilst still trying to be seen as a leader. Like, even if you are told you're supposed to view yourself as the hero for everyone else – what good hero story have you ever seen where the hero doesn't emotionally develop or convey his struggles with a partner or a friend? I just wish that wasn't so hard for people in general.

Question Nine

This is a bit of a complex question, but for my own sake and how much this meant to me, please give me a moment to set it up. I've found the ability to go out and socialize on the street or in public spaces seems to be a lost art here in America. If you're outside of a designated 'social space' say, just walking on the sidewalk for example, people are quite averse (sometimes even visibly scared) to acknowledge you without so much as a nod. This is particularly bad if you're colored like me. Regardless of how you carry yourself, you'll often be met with people crossing to the other side of the street's sidewalk to avoid even having to pass by you. On the contrary, entirely opposite to that, my experience abroad in Central American countries was very different. I distinctly recall walking around the streets at 12:20am, a woman stopping me on the street to ask where a particular road was, and us ending up chatting in that very spot on the sidewalk for an entire hour. We were just chatting about our travels, who we'd met and where we were going. Everybody over there was a different color, and it felt okay to interact with people in different environments you wouldn't here. I mean, chatting to random woman in near complete darkness at past midnight and neither of us feeling afraid of each other was heavenly. I preface all this because I'm curious of what effect you think living in a socially-hostile, racially & aesthetically-criticizing environment has on a person seeking companionship. Do you think an environment like mine might turn somebody, a native who often feels like foreigner on their own birth-soil, into searching for companions solely online - hired or otherwise?

“Ultimately, I think that experience you had is an environment a lot of people who come into this want to be in. Imagine that, really! An environment where you can just go out, not having a plan for anything, and just start talking to people in a deep way. Random people who you wouldn't know anything about, or maybe ever see again. If only we could afford the courtesy to strangers that we give to people we've known for so long. They might really need it.

Look. I think we take that for granted here in the competitive West that that is actually possible and fun. But its too dangerous for a lot of us to do. Westerners always have somewhere to be, or at least feel that they do. They expect you to always be going somewhere like them, or at least up to something. Some of my mates here in the UK get stopped by police just for strolling the neighborhood and talking on walks, d'you know?! You get the cops called on you for just lazily wandering the neighborhood because you 'look suspicious'. Children get the cops called on them in America for playing outside in their own yards. Everybody is really quite hostile towards each other... scared of each other... and its not an environment many would consider tussling with when trying to meet new people.

And to me, that kind of relates back to the internet, VRChat and paying for services. If you're in a place within the states like where you are, and no one wants to talk to you in a public setting other than a nightclub or a bar, but you want to meet new people and dislike those kind of places – where do you go?! You wanna talk to people you haven't talked to before, but you don't want it to be somewhere too reclusive or niche... well some people would rather just pay for that instead.

And for like, not even that much money you could pay for half an hour with someone. It beats getting mugged on the streets. It beats getting sexually harassed in a dangerous area. It beats getting kidnapped. It beats getting arrested for using public spaces the way they're intended.

I think the people buying these companion services are doing it for safety reasons they'd rather not admit. Be it either emotional safety or personal safety, which ever feels most lacking to them.

Question Ten

“Yeah, actually. I guess I'd like to know more of the reasons of why people pay for it? Specifically, for the ones who are coming here because they're forlorn. Because honestly, I don't know... it does make me feel strange some times.”

Like... for this Fiverr account: I made it just so I could get money. Once I saw I could have fun on VRChat and make a few bucks I said “why not”, but...

I do feel a bit guilty about it with certain people. Because if people are genuinely sad and they come up to me of all people, just wanting to talk to someone... I feel kind of guilty for making them pay just for that...”

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