I watched the Steve McQueen Film Hunger today. Such an incredibly haunting depiction of the conflict in Northern Ireland. I had never learned a great deal about it before, some serious reading is on the cards. Open to hearing any suggestions of docs or books that might educate me further. I have been feeling the urge to paint/draw again, I might start accompanying the posts with some illustrations like on my previous post, let's see if I can find the motivation somewhere. I have been getting a lot from doing this, I feel good just knowing I'm completing something/sticking to what I set out to do. Its a very small part of my day but maybe that says a lot about where I am right now.
Nothing much today, very much floating through the cosmos. Called my mum and spoke about my grandparents and my difficult aunt, the usual. I keep having this thought of leaving London for good. I always imagined a time limit on it and I find myself wondering if I can see it on the horizon. The COVID situation has made this seem worse than it is. I am sure many of you can agree that big cities can seem lonelier at times despite being surrounded by people (strangers). Maybe that's it, no familiar faces. Just lots and lots of strangers. I have a fear and anxiety about leaving as I might regret it, but with any change in life that is natural. I think my plan is to see how life improves after lockdown, if it's just a COVID thing or if its a me thing. I have included an illustration today, what a treat. I feel it reflects the above thoughts on me feeling isolated. P.s Thank you for the mention TMO, stay cool.
Today I fought my ritualised afternoon nap, wore socks with sandals and ate a balanced meal. I also had a weird memory of playing a platform game on my xbox and really loving the soundtrack. That game was called Apple Jack its just really inoffensive acoustic music that plinks away in the background whilst you collect coins and jump around. I don't even remember playing the game that much but for some reason, the music stayed with me around 10 years later. It was from a time in my where I would be foolin around with friends 90% of the time, skateboarding and video games filled my days. It was pure and easy.
I was congratulated by an IRL friend and write.as'er for completing my first week of Haikus. I had not really noticed that I had even done a week but it has been nice to explore as I never really paid much attention to writing anything before. I am a much more visual person, having studied my BA in illustration and further exploring photography. The creative ebb and flow can leave me uninspired for weeks at a time, usually accompanied by a depressive lul. It has been nice to have this creative outlet set in my routine and has felt nice knowing people are reading the sub-par words I have been throwing down. Thank you RWA people.
No rain this evening so I drank Holsten and walked around for a few hours with my girlfriend. Ate sausage, chips and curry sauce from the local chippy and had an all-round great time. Small wins mean a lot. I feel as though I have gone back in time to when I would feel accomplished for meeting very basic social obligations. Sidenote I also ate the aforementioned potato onion mushroom soup, it was a great success.
Adrenaline and work fueled morning left me feeling sluggish this afternoon, I played PC games and looked outside at the lacklustre rain. I keep putting off exercise to hide indoors whenever possible. Although as the COVID situation worsens in London I see less and less reason to risk being out with the rabble.
I left my house for the first time in a while today to grab some veg for a soup I plan on making. Unfortunately, waited till around 15:00 when the light had already begun to retreat. Vitamin D supplements are my friend.
