So, I sort of had this idea… what if Dio… alt Dio, me, whoever… had gone bad? And this silly little scene just sort of popped into my head. I won’t say it was fun to write, but exploring an older me who lost everything that mattered… who let her rage and anger out and who was paying for it… it was an interesting headspace to be in.
Q: 30 Oct—If your character had a themed vehicle, what would it be?
I already answered this, but I thought it might be fun to contact “alt Dio” to ask her too, as she's a bit different. Anyway, we chatted over lunch; her answer is below!
I'm not broken, despite what I'd have me believe
Chipped, cracked, but never quite shattered
The weight of grief and circumstance conspiring
To convince me that I was weaker than I am
All of those lies I whispered in the dark
Punishments inflicted when I was not at fault
Self loathing masquerading as vigilante justice
An unfair sentence from a judge oft compromised
This QNOA is dark. I'm usually flippant and stuff but… you wanted some insight into me, and I've had some old self lurking lately. The theme is death, so trigger warning… that's a huge theme here. Be warned. And if you want to keep derpy silly dork me in your head as pristine, maybe skip this one.
TW: Death, Dying
I sit in maudlin silence
Doomed, if only in my mind
The weight of it all
Demanding my surrender
But, when I put my headphones on
The music brings me back to self
Me, grinning defiance as I sway
Remembering why I still fight
Resolve, pulsing with the beat
Bassline reverberating in my soul
Vocals, reminding me to love
And as the beat drops
My better self is restored.
I… don’t really know where this came from, I just… know it came from me. As meta as it might be, as strange as it seems, this… helped. I feel less out of alignment. I feel more ‘right’ after writing this, like I’ve regained a small piece of something vital. So… yeah.
“We like you for you” they say
Me, knowing they're wrong, but
Giving it one more chance
(Just one, I pretend)