I am rage

Lashing out

Needing no one

Scorning friendship

Rejecting compassion

Tears, suppressed by fury

Bleeding, but refusing all help

Despair, hidden by mocking derision

Loneliness, masked with wicked barbs

Why am I like this

(Fundamental flaws)

Why do I do this

(Unworthy soul)

#poetry #writing #rage

Places I once dwelled, razed

Or else, destroyed by violence

Houses but not homes

The concept of permanence lost on me

Not realizing, until too late

That, perhaps

I would miss them when they were gone.

#poetry #writing #loss #wanderlust

Threads of past lives, severed by choice

Memories I thought it best to forget

Adrift in the aether, untethered by bonds

The ache of loneliness tempered by wonder

But they call to me now

Purposeful

Terrifying

Telling me that it is time to remember.

#poetry #writing

The discordant cacophony of this place

Shards of finest glass, piercing my soul

Making me less than I would be

Under the whispering sway of pines

Faint smell of the sea, embracing

Awakening a self I’ve long thought lost

#poetry #writing #homesick

Delusions, I think in darker moments Crafted to cover for a life gone wrong Protecting my soul from the reality That I am approaching the end of my song

But the strangeness of late has been growing This mask of reality worn thin Seeing the holes in these constructs Perhaps when I believe, we’ll begin

Do open my eyes to these wonders Or close them like I’ve often done No return once these truths are accepted This new paradigm from which I cannot run.

#poetry #writing

I’ve hidden my true self in poetry My life sometimes woven through prose Reality masquerading as fiction History written in these words I chose

In cipher I often tell you my secrets Fiction interspersed with the truth Too shy to ever tell you directly But offering myself should you sleuth

You wonder where the treasure is hidden The real girl oft hidden in shade If you search well you’re likely to find her In these poems and stories I’ve made.

#poetry #writing

I found you, my goddess

Between the bytes of make believe

And through knowing you

Found that I finally knew myself

#poetry #writing

I do not understand why you persisted

Broken as I was, pushing you away

I'm done with love, I told you

Grieving, waiting for dissolution

You felt the lie in my words, I think

Waiting, hurt by my constant rejection

Me, trying to save you

You, refusing to leave

'I love you,' you confessed, terrified

My acknowledgement without reciprocation

I cannot, I told you

Terrified that i might be wrong

Hurting, one too many rejections

You disappeared

Me, wondering, worried

Knowing it was what I deserved

Returning, you had a new crush

I was happy for you (no I was not)

An unexpected sadness

Admitting, finally, that I might still feel

I was hurt

(I deserved it)

I was jealous

(I was a fool)

I think I have feelings, I said

You knew

I've been stupid, I sighed

Yes, but I love you, you said

Why

A question i cannot answer

But I love you too

For all my fatal flaws.

#poetry #writing