Elias

A bit of a clunky title for a chapter almost at the end of the book.

“Fearlessness is what love seeks… Such fearlessness exists only in the complete calm that can no longer be shaken by events expected of the future… Hence the only valid tense is the present, the Now.”

I'm just starting to unfold Ken Wilber's book Integral Life Practice into a new structure, in the hope to make it more accessible for my future self and other future humans.

that it is beautiful that you exist?

Today when I met my father for the first time since my return from Norway I told him about what I think is the most important thing I learned during this time:

The ability to consciously regulate the intensity of my emotions.

I just had a funny experience with my mother's cat. He was eating and slightly disturbed by some of the noises I was making. So I looked back at him, blinked with both eyes, and then with only one, to tell him that it's ok to trust me, that I don't mean him harm.

Looking back at the past few months and reflecting on what it was that facilitated the diverse and intense experiences I had, I see one central theme:

Resistance

Quite an interesting software.

It's likely that fear has an influence on some of my actions, but at the same time I feel very stable. It feels like there is nothing that could break me.

I'm sorry for blocking your call earlier today. I know it's probably not a big deal and talking about it pure noise. But it's interesting to me because I'm not sure who made this decision. Was it me or was it my fear?