Sex is just a slice of time with squishing noises — I want to be trusted. I want to let go and #love; even if it's a #lie. I want to envelop myself in something I might never be given in return. I'll show him…”cherish me this way”, “touch me like this”, “tell me these things”. I'll give you what I want and then I'll beg for it. I'll beg you to care.

i feel so alone.

I want to recline and luxuriate in my despair. I want to lay back and freckle under the black hole sun. The DJ Kahled ad-lib “another one” after I lose another friend. I was right, it's okay. They do hate me. I am unlovable. It was a #lie. It is irreconcilable. Of course.

I get this pathetic, giddy limerence and hear the voice of reason wisely patting my silly little head. Have you thought about this? Have you considered that? What if it doesn't work? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

The only thing that I get for being right again is a sense of stability, but of course that's all I want.