Freestyling My Thoughts
Planning is a massive hurdle for me. Organizing my ideas and thoughts is hard on my cognition. And yet, this society wants me to adhere to their rigid and rigorous rules.
I'm expected to be methodical not only in a workplace, but also my creative works. As much as I tried to, I keep on having debilitating decision paralysis which prevents me from making major progress in my work.
As for my creative hobbies, I just draw and write anything spontaneously. I'd draw plants if I want to at the moment, and I'd write down my current painful emotions and trauma that I've been experiencing every once in a while.
I'm 'freestyling' this blog post as I write. Letting myself go without internal or external interference makes me feel at home with myself, with my own cognitive skills and spiritual energy. There's no judgement on how the end result looks and sounds like. No one's there to clown on me for my natural way of creating or how I feel about everything.
Spontaneous activities feels truly relaxing and freeing. If only there's a way to harness that in my potential major art projects or even in a workplace...
I realized that creativity is best drawn from spontaneity and authenticity. This is evident in freestyling rap and hip-hop culture at large. Rappers and artists do not care about what others think of them or their work/performance. What truly matters is speaking their truth and inspiring people. And that is what I am striving for.
#actuallyautistic #adhd #psychology #art #writing #drawing #painting #music