katelovesorange

its late in the day now. close to dinner. i have a couple of frozen chicken things in the oven. i am not hungry. i also have the dehydrator going and oranges cooking on the stove. i am going to try to make orange jam. in the dehydrator i have some tomatoes and zuccini. i can put that later in spagetti sauce. i also got the floor washed and laundry out before i went out.

i did it. i went to work and dropped off my note. they didnt take long to call. brent said i got a call from work before i even got home. i did some errands and then went home. i go and pick up my work phone on thurs and get some PPE . i would imagine i will need lots of that. i will be working in one spot. thank goodness. i will be one in a team of 3 in one of the retirement homes not far from where i alive. i am ok with that. its just the long days i am not sure how i am going to deal with. guess i will try it and see. the good thing i had when i was driving around town was i could stop someplace and do a quick errand. pick up something etc. i wont be able to do that now because when i get done most places will be closed. not sure how i will work around that. brent is going to have to step up to the plate and start doing more around the house. after all he is home all day.

i will miss the little bit of art time i had. once the winter gets closer i will be doing more art at the kitchen table at it will be too cold in the sunroom.

i better start packing my back pack for work...snacks and knitting and what ever else i think i might need for the day. i am both scared and ok with going back to work. well at least i will save some money on gas. i wont be driving around town all day.

no mail today, no letters and no bills.

i was feeding the birds today and found another surprise baby. darn thing is almost big enough to fly. mom hid her baby well thats for sure. 2 of the last 4 surprise babies died. they where out of the nest too soon and i think the other birds picked on them. i feel so sad when that happens.

so laundry is in barely before dark. brent reminded me i had laundry out. i got some dishes done. i wanted to clear off more of the counter but we cant have everything . i started my orange jam. will see how it will taste once its cold. then reheat and jar up.

brent sees i am stressing about going back to work. i guess i cant hide things like that well.

its late now time for me to start to get ready for bed. see you all tomorrow....

its monday and i was going to go into work and bring my back to work note. i chickened out. i will go tomorrow...maybe. just the thought of going there makes me feel sick, but i know i will have to sooner or later.

i got the aviary done and swept the floor. rabbit is back in his cage. i am trying to get some dishes done. we are having left overs for dinner. my shoulder is really hurting right now. the paper rolls are really small for the aviary so i dont think those are making the problem worse. i think its just part of the fibro thing. i still have some birds to capture but hopefully that wont take long.

i got all my trading cards done. now its just the backs. do i glue a piece of lined paper on the back. do i just write on the back? i dont know. i looked up some on google and most showed the back used a huge stamp. looks nice for sure. but its something i dont have right now. i joined a trading card group. most members are not in canada but that is to be expected. i will make up a couple more of the cards i just finished and see if i can trade it. i really like working on small pages. its a small quick piece of art. its nice for a change to have something done right away. i usually do things that take a long time. these cards offer me something smaller.

there is a lady i bought a plant from and sold some to that wants one of my bears. so i spent a couple of hours making the plastic pattern pieces . now i need fabric. i do have some but i am sure she wants something similar to already done. so will be on the hunt to find something to cut up. will see what i can find.

pain and brain fog is moderate today. i had some broth around 3 to help settle my stomach. it helped a bit.

its time to go heat up dinner. i am going to close here for now as i am getting very sleepy. see you all tomorrow...

i was up early this morning. its very foggy out. i can barely see across the road. if the sun comes out it will burn off.

i picked up some stuffing yesterday, the kind you put into small toys. i have been knitting a small bear. i am done making all the parts so now i can start putting it together. then i will decide if i like it or not. i really like making small things like this. but then i end up with all these bears or toys and dont know what to do with them. i know your thinking why not sell them , well i am too chicken to have a craft sale. i dont like dealing with people and i am not a very good salesperson. i have avoided craft sales and such because i am not good at it. my friend ruth was a great artist but she was also a great salesperson. so i have bins of things i have made and no idea what to do with. i would like to sell them in a store ,have to find one first.

i am good at growing cactus and succulents. all the little plants i had transplants earlier this summer are sold and i traded some for a plant i didnt have. most of my little plants are in the sunroom, i am wondering where they will go when the frost comes. maybe the bedroom window. i can grow a pretty good cactus but things like herbs i forget to water and of course they end up wilted or dead.

the rabbit will want out for a run soon. he has gotten so big and strong. he can hop onto a chair and lower window ledges. he keeps trying to make friends with the cats and follows them around. the cats are getting better with the bunny.

my shoulder is killing me today. not sure if its the weather or just from yesterday. will need extra pain meds today.

later: i finished the little bear. he turned out cute and really like the size too. small enough to fit into a childs pocket and take with them if they want to. i am still debating on adding a ribbon. will think on that some more.

i did alot more gluing on the trading cards. now i wait for them to dry again. thats the hard part, waiting for glue to dry. next i start making the id cards for the back. my printing is not so great, so i have been putting this off for a long time. since my hands have gotten weaker my handwriting is not so good.

brent took a decent picture of the new bear. i would like to post it on here but no idea how. maybe you cant. i dont know. wish they would make some things more user friendly. i am not very computer savy so i would need it to be “how to post pictures on this post for dummies”.

i have been thinking alot about the grandkids as schools here gear up to open. i wonder how they are doing, if they are scared. how they feel about wearing a mask. i hope to know someday.

its getting late and i am getting tired. see you all tomorrow.

its late in the day. we have had dinner and brent has fallen asleep again. so i am surfing for a bit and then go feed the birds and try and coral the rabbit again. we did get out and i picked up my meds. did the grocery shopping. i am glad he came with me today i dont think i could have done all the stops alone today. no letters to mail today. maybe next week. we stopped at the thrift shop and i found a couple of really nice tea cups and a few canning jars and a really cool dominos game. maybe when the table is cleared off brent will maybe play .

i got some art done today too. i found an old book and will use it for journal pages. i really liked the feel of the paper and the yellowing of the pages. i am looking forward to working on that once i am done the trading cards.

the cats and rabbit are sleeping in the window. the sun is gone now so i suspect they where enjoying that. its funny to watch the rabbit chase the cats around.

pain levels are high now. with all the walking around and lifting etc. i will need extra pain meds tonight. its not even dark out and i am wanting to go to bed. sometimes just being able to stretch out helps alot. in the winter with the big heating pad on the bed helps alot too. my hands are hurting now i am going to call it a night on this and see you all tomorrow.

i didnt start my entry until now because i was not sure i would be able to with all the problems with my internet today. so here i am. decient day today pain wise. i got a load of laundry out on the line. got the front hall swept and vaccumed and washed. renewed my meds for tomorrow and got dinner made. i got most of the floors washed just have a bit more to do. then of course there are dishes to do. i will need to gather more grass to dry for the winter for the rabbit. so far i have some in a box but need it to last until next april or may. so a long way off for sure.

bunny wants out to play again , will let him out next time i get up. he has grown alot since i brought him home. he can now hop onto my chair. so that means when ever he wants something he can bug me for it, just like the cats.

i got some art done today too. it was nice to be able to get some work done and not be bothered for a change. got more gluing done and die cut some more butterflies. the cards should be done on time, i hope. it will take 2 weeks to get there.

i also got my new credit card today. i was very surprised. i didnt expect it until sometime next week. the only thing was the guy didnt make me sign for it or ask for ID. reminds me of the time when someones passports where delivered to our house. good thing we found them and not someone else. we brought them to the address and the lady was very happy to get them. something like that should be signed for at the post office, not left wondering around in the mail.

no two days are ever the same for me. i can be good one day and be crap the next . or even be good in the morning and crap by night time. i never know what my body will do . i feel so alone in this alot of the time. i know there are others with fibro but its so hard to talk about with a stranger. i dont think anyone really understands chronic pain unless you have it. you cant see it , cant find it on an xray or bloodwork. its just there saying i am going to make your life hell.

i will need to head out tomorrow to get my meds. so hopfully i wont be too cranky when i am done. i am going to close here for now and go feed the birds. see you all tomorrow.....

a crappy start to the day. i got caught in a scam for my credit card number so my card has been cancelled and a new one is being sent. now i have to contact my auto payments online to try and change numbers. why dont online companies have a phone number??? i have sent emails and no response. i hate these scammers. really screwed with my life today. i really dont need this crap right now.

i started doing some art this morning got alot of things glued. but now i have to wait for paper to dry. takes forever on a day like this. its cool and wet. i am sure i can get all these made in a few days if i was not waiting for things to dry. i have to make 12 trading cards to send out west. then i get 12 in return. so will see what happens. i will make a couple of extra and see if i can trade them on facebook. trading cards are a small quick project depending on how many you make of course. i can also use up little bits of things too. i wanted to do some coffee paper dying but maybe another day.

speaking of little bits. i found a knitting pattern online for a very small bear. its just the right size for a child to carry around. i am working on a brown one right now. it does not use much yarn so any left overs i have will work perfect. i just need to pick up a bag of stuffing.

i made banana muffins for my afternoon snack . they turned out good. its a good use of ripe bananas. got caught up on some dishes and put some summer things away. i always find another job that needs to be done. wont be hanging any laundry out for a few days. we are supposed to get rain to at least monday. so i will be hanging inside for now on the rack. i closed up a couple of the windows as well. the wind is cold. must be coming from the north again.

pain levels are med level today considering the weather. i know i will be paying for all the chores tomorrow. i am just trying to keep up with things and some days are better than others for doing that.

the rabbit has discovered cat tv...aka the front window. so now he can hop into the window and watch the world go by with the cats.

the wind has really picked up now. the window upstairs is cracked just a bit. i am not sure if i should put another blanket on the bed or not. i bought a bed sized heating pad for me last winter. best thing i ever did. so if i get too cold i will turn it on for a bit.

time to call it a night...see you all tomorrow

some days i feel like i am going in circles. what i plan on doing never seems to happen. i get up do chores make meals and do more chores and then its time for bed. i dont even knit right now. when i think i have time to knit brent wants something. hon can you get me this or that or can you make me a sandwich or get me a drink. i hate that he works from home i never get 5 min to breathe. as much as i dont like going out i do anyway just to have some alone time.

today i am going to my eye glass appt . to get my left eye glass lens. i really dont want to go out. been out already this week and i am nervous today.

i was going to renew my meds today too but they are not due until the 21st. so another trip out on the weekend.

the rabbit was sure happy to get out for his run this morning. he even climbed the furniture to sit with me. he is so little still and light. wonder if rabbits make a sound when they are happy. he sure seems happy .

its evening now and almost time to get ready for bed. my eye appt went well and i go back in 4 weeks for a final check before i can get my other lens. i will have to drop off my drs note at work tomorrow too. not that i want to. just the thought of it makes me feel sick. i am finally calming down from today. i felt sick all afternoon from having to go out today. i had some of the beef broth yesterday and it helped my stomach feel better. i guess i will have to pack some in my lunch bag.

there wont be much to pack in my lunch bag anymore. not much i want to eat. but i will have to make sure i have water and a few crackers.

i am going to put off shopping for this week we dont need anything really except maybe cat litter and cat food.

thor the cat is sitting on my arm and making it very hard to type right now. for some reason i have become is blankie of sorts. he just cant seem to leave me alone. his nose is stuffed in my arm pit and he purrs very loudly...

i am going to close here for now and see you all tomorrow...

good morning. i have a few things on the list of things to do today. its a cool morning so will get at it soon when my pain meds kick in. some days the meds work better than others. its cloudy this morning so may get rain later. no errands to do today, no desire to go out either.

i often wonder if anyone would notice if i just disappeared. i will be chatting to people on facebook and they suddenly just stop talking to me , like they wonder away and forget i am on the phone so to speak. is it really worth my time to continue chatting with them. i am thinking not. they might think its ok but for me its hurtful. i just feel like i am being tossed aside like i am nothing. rather have no friends than feel like this.

later: got some chores done and the birds and rabbits cleaned. i have to go out later and pick up the drs note to bring to work. the thought of going back to work scares me. i dont like things i dont know. i am going to be getting a whole list of new people and they probably dont want me either. then there is the fact i have no idea where these people live and i am finding street numbers hard to see when driving. so not sure what to do.

i better go get dressed now...be back later.

back now and i got my drs note. i will bring it into work when my glasses are done.

brent ordered dinner so i picked that up . i was looking forward to it. its not sitting right so i only ate a little. i also picked some soup bases from the bulk food place. i figure i can have that if i cant eat anything else.

i get that sick feeling so easy . i almost passed out waiting for the takeout.

i am going to close here for now and see you all tomorrow.. i am going to lay down for a bit.

a decent start to the day. i was up early enough to take my meds and get the birds done before going out. i had to go to the drs office and ask for a back to work note. so that being done i did a few errands and came home.

i think left overs for dinner. i still have some chores to do and energy is getting low. going out alone and driving always takes alot out of me.

its a nice day out but i have no desire to even go outside. some days i just want to die. some days i see my life as a dismal failure. i have tried so hard to succeed and thought i would end up with something alot better. makes me sad to think this is all i am worth. what is wrong with me that i always end up in the ditch. i always thought i was a good person . why is it some people always land on their feet and others fight for everything.

later: its clouded over now and its thundering. the rain will come. the pain will come and i will go to bed early. my cough has been with me all day. i drank some more juice hoping it would go away.

i miss my kids and grandkids so much. my heart hurts when i think of them. will they ever be back in my life? only time will tell.... i am going to close here for now....see you all tomorrow...

it was a very late start today. i didnt get up until almost 930. that is very late for me. i slept about 10 hours. i guess i was tired.

so i have been busy since my meds kicked in. made apple crisp and its in the oven now. i cleaned all the beans and got them ready for canning. canned 6 jars of beans and cleaned the counter under the glass. no dishes done yet.

i wanted to do some art today but food prep took over. have to get it done it wont keep. some day when i have a few hours i will go and start sorting in the basement. its going to take a long while because of the way brent put things on the shelves. no sense of order or plan , no labels no idea where anything is.

yesterday when we were out doing yard sales we stoped at one. a clean out of moms house kind of thing. i asked if she had any tea cups and she said at home. she took my number and said she would call. i am thinking now if she does call and the cups are reasonably priced i can then resell them to a dealer for something really really nice. that is my plan anyhow. see what happens.

i am making fresh bread for dinner with pasta and apple crisp. i can smell the bread baking now. smells so good. been months since i made bread. i usually do it more in the winter with homemade soups.

brent asked me yesterday if i liked cooking. i said i dont mind on a good day. but the planning and prep and remembering to do things is hard for me some days. he would just take meat out of the freezer and not plan what to go with it other than potatoes. i said that would never fly with me. he tries to make dinner 10 min before he wants to eat. thats not how it works and i dont think he gets that. i started todays dinner this morning , making the apple crisp. then 2 hours later i set up the bread machine. he just does not plan anything. it gets very frustrating . like when he pours coffee leaves the mess on the counter. he leaves the cream cheese out and milk and what ever else he takes out of the frig and leaves on the counter. makes me feel like i am cleaning up after kids all day.

later: dinner is done and i have had my tea and guess who gets stuck with cleanup....me of course...sigh..

least dinner was good. i managed to get leftovers in the frig and just finished my tea. so now starts the clean up. i just wanted to knit for a bit. if i ask him to clean up his excuse will be the hes worried he wont do it right. well when i have to rewash half of the dishes because they are all greasy then yeah you have not done it right. its quicker for me to do it. so i do it, and then i resent it.

i went in and fed the birds and found 2 pairs for that lady who wanted birds. she wanted white doves so that was lucky they where together. so may have 4 birds gone next weekend. i move i of the pair to their own cage for now.

time to take meds and maybe get ready for bed, and do more dishes.

see you all tomorrow...