A Story about The Joker and The Thief, Part 1
“So I’ll tell you all the story about the Joker and the Thief I said I’ll tell you all the story about the Joker and the Thief I said I’ll tell you all the story about the Joker and the Thief in the Night”
- The Joker and The Thief, Wolfmother
“There must be some kind of way out of here Said the Joker to the Thief”
- All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan
I can’t tell you the story about the Joker and the Thief. For one thing, there are now many stories, and who’s to say which one is the one you mean? And for another, if you mean that story… well that story really was written for benefit of the Joker and the Thief, about what transpired between them, and it has been said it won’t be retold in full until they meet again. Also... I might have temporarily misplaced my copy.
But I can certainly tell you a story about the Joker and the Thief.
Once upon a time, there was a man, let’s just call him J. J had been a bit all over the shop for quite a few years of his life, as has been known to happen to people on occasion. One day J was having an excellent day. He had won some minor award at work, the sun was shining, he felt well rested and distinctly unhungover, rather than his usual precarious grip on functioning fuelled by a few too many energy drinks. He returned from the award ceremony to his station of work. He started on a simple task – stuffing some envelopes. But, try as he might, not one envelope could he stuff. His hands were shaking.
“Ah, curse my sleep deprivation, making my hands shake.”
“But… you’ve slept soundly at reasonable hours some three nights in a row”
“Oh, right. So I guess I’m over caffeinated.”
“No, you’re not. You haven’t even had one coffee today. Because you didn’t feel tired, because you slept well.”
“Ah, well, this is a hangover?”
“We already went over this. You haven’t had anything to drink for a couple of days.”
“Oh. So this is…. A Mystery Shaking?”
“It would seem so. Dun dun dun etc.”
J pondered the situation.
“Am I shaking because… I’m too happy? Because my day is going too well. Is that, like, a thing?”
Fortunately J lived in the Golden Era of the Internet, after the popularisation of Wikipedia but before the popularisation of Facebook. A quick trip to the Wikipedia page for “Bipolar Disorder” confirmed a vaguely remembered suspicion – there is a known mental illness where you sometimes feel “too happy”.
Unfortunately, this discovery had the side effect of making J even happier.
“Wow! A Real Actual Mental Illness! I guess I was not just faking being miserable and messed up these last few years. Now they can diagnose and treat me and I Will Be Fixed!”
J told his boss of his amazing discovery; she seemed a little sceptical, but was supportive of his need to go home for the day and then seek treatment.
So J left work, observing as he travelled that he was starting to brim with so much confidence, on some emotional level, that he could almost imagine stepping out into heavy traffic or in front of an oncoming train and expecting to come to no harm. “My, that’s interesting.”
He made his way back to an apartment where some relatives of his lived, to spend some fair portion of time ranting to them about his discovery and its many implications.
J did not get a lot of sleep that night.
(to be continued)