I shared with everyone that my daughter and her friends were molested by my daughter’s very own father. When my daughter decided to share her story openly, she asked me to be her voice. So here I am, I am Alyson’s voice and I’d like to share more about what I’ve learned since we lost Alyson’s legal case against her own, father!
I know for many that this situation is hard to talk about but, in my home it never was. We spoke openly about good touch and bad touch, we gave the children the proper names of their genetalia and we didn’t shy away from this subject, at all. It’s something I urge all parent’s to get comfortable with very early on. You could be saving your child that way. Sure we are all afraid of the “creepy person” on the bus that we don’t know but, do you know that 9 times out of 10 the perpetrator is someone you know, someone your child knows and there’s a good chance that they were grooming your child right in front of you. Perps are very sneaky and good at what they do. They don’t want to go to prison.
Alyson and I have been following the Sophie Long story. Once we saw the 1st video of Sophie being ripped out of a car, she got out attention! Sophie had made allegations of being sexual abused by multiple men but, one was her moms boyfriend, Mr. Jake as she calls him. Sophie was examined by several Doctors and they all said that there’s “no signs of sexual abuse”! I was perplexed. So wait, if penetration didn’t happen then a sexual crime didn’t occur? I promise you that my daughter and her friends were sexually abused and no, he didn’t penetrate them. He was slick. He did it through “tickle play” which I never allowed with my children. Tickling is a very easy way for a perpetrator to get what they are looking for but, they also look innocent if the subject comes up. Also, try to prove that one in court. You can’t so the perpetrator wins. He got what he or she needed and your child is left without justice being served.
I’ve learned a lot since we lost Alyson’s case and I wanted to share a few things with all of you. The first thing I want to say we all think that will never happen to our child. I said the same thing. I mean she adored her father. He was her other best-friend. Keep those eyes open and yes, I’m sorry to say even around family members. That’s a tough one but, a true one. I can’t tell you the amount of people that have come to me talking about Uncles, Grandfathers and even Aunts. You never know. If something seems “off” with your child then follow your gut. My momma gut is spot on, usually. If you think something may have happen then ask questions. I’m not saying go at your child like a lunatic but, start bringing it up. Record whatever conversation you have and don’t ever and I mean ever put words in their mouth and don’t ever coach. These 2 things can completely shatter a case. Can you ask questions? Of course but, think about how that question would sound on the witness stand. There’s always a lawyer out there that will work hard to get the perpetrator off on those charges. Your child doesn’t matter to them I’m sorry to say.
Teach your child the correct names for their body part’s. I followed a case in NYC that went to trial. The whole case fell apart when the little girl of 9 years old was asked, “What did he touch” and she said, “my cookie”. The defense attorneys said, “Peanut-butter or chocolate chip”. They left without a conviction and the case was strong. Penis and Vagina seem to make people squirm but, those words could be the difference between a conviction or a perp walking.
If you are told that, “Your child doesn’t have a case” after coming forward please don’t make the same mistake I did and just stop. I wish I didn’t but, I was none the wiser. That Detective has a boss too. Keep asking for their supervisor and if that doesn’t work keep going. The police have a technique they use and it will usually trigger some kind of confession. It’s called a Lie Detector. I spoke with an investigator that told me that he always takes the perpetrator to the Lie Detector machine. Although not admissible in court the perpetrator knows they’ll fail so they usually will give a confession. It might not be a full one but, one to get the ball rolling.
I’m going to be sharing different things I’ve learned since I learned that my daughter was molested in hopes of helping even 1 family. Telling my daughter that her case wasn’t strong enough and her dad would walk was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Please, if you have any questions come to me. I will always answer to the best of my ability. I’m going to end this here today but, there’s more coming. I dare talk about the subject that nobody wants to talk about. Keep your children safe and be careful who you trust.
It’s OK To Know You Matter
