Time is relative – so is importance
We are the victims of our self-talk. But are we its sole target?
Call it a silly if you want but it is the question I encountered this week. Normally all dismissive, degrading, good-for-nothing-or-at-least-not-good-enough comments try to devalue myself. Here's the thing: not this time. Instead, I was the victim of EVERYBODY ELSE'S good-for-nothing-ness.
Working on a project, I've been relying on other people’s support/input/feedback, at the very least on their acknowledgement. And that's been the pressure point my self-talk tries to sting.
Phrasing it this way - granting my self-talk a more active role and mischievous behaviour - I get the sudden urge to name my self-talk. We've come this way now. Spontaneous gut feeling for no apparent reason: George. So welcome (or rather not?) my self-talk named George.
Back to George aiming at my pressure points. Here I was, waiting for my project partners, and George was screaming “Nobody cares about it. Am I the only one who takes this seriously and as important as it is?” George, as you may have noticed, is a pro. A blunt accusation, followed by a mere question to tone it down again. Congratulations, my self-talk qualifies as Facebook troll. They grow up so fast.
Of course, this is just a curve ball. Accusing others of not taking it seriously in reality means taking me seriously. And we all know the following chain of why it is my fault they don't and I deserve nothing less and so on... Point for George.
Let's break the chain then, shall we? Time is relative – so is importance. Yes, at this very moment I thought about the project. And I missed and lacked (still at this very moment) feedback from other people. Who are at other places. Doing other things.
Other things as I did 10 minutes ago! I maybe had a snack. Or closed my eyes for a moment. Or scratched my feet that had fallen asleep when buying a few eggs. You might see where I am going: The heart of my complaint – and George's ammunition – was that the exact moment of spacetime I considered it important, I couldn't prove that anyone else did. How terrible. For that one instant having been the only (and last) crossroad in history to change the outcome of the project. The only project. Of everyone out there.
If we unravel George's pleadings and accept the fact that importance is relative, that unproved doesn't equal non-existent, that it isn't even important to telepathically worry at the same time to worry at all... then the attack will miss. George can scream and rant all he wants. And I am simply not going to read this troll post of his. Maybe I'm simply too busy eating cake.