Being insignificant and crucial at the same time
I can tell you one thing about my self-talk named George: George is the master of bridging paradoxes. Tirelessly he informs reminds lectures me of obvious flaws of mine and like icing on a cake, he adds that I'm also the total opposite and that's of course another flaw on top.
In short, George's shades of grey resemble a chess board. And it is entirely my fault that the board – despite intended to look this way – is not colourful enough and too bright.
We were heading to an event (“we” being George and myself) where I (or we?) had the opportunity to go up on stage with other artists to entertain the audience together. Dare to guess? George wasn't so sure about it.
"When I realised that I am the least experienced person on that stage, I started to tremble. Embarrassing as it might end, I felt an obligation: the obligation to not drag others into the abyss of embarrassment."
Sounds familiar? Of course it does, we all know it. The truth is that “When I realised” stands for “George told me”. Equally “I felt an obligation” is just a façade for “George demanded”.
Still, maybe you don't see a problem here. Maybe you side with George, agree with the stakes, and tell me something about “encouragement to try my best”. Yet where should encouragement come from, I ask. Where should be grounding upon, be routed in?
Yes, if you are the least experienced person in a group, then you are the least experienced person in a group. Tautologies after all are true. And yet the fact alone doesn't lead to an inescapable downfall.
This might depend on two things: whether I fall; and whether I am crucial enough. And here lies the black spot in George's argument: How can I be equally insignificant and crucial? Not counting and yet tipping the scale?
We play a part – scripted or not – and we are never insignificant. Being inexperienced is no flaw. It is a phase we pass on our journey to experience. The ones we admire simply passed by earlier, leaving an encouraging mark on the old oak tree on the city square saying “I was here”.
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