Mirror, mirror on the floor

Do you soliloquize? Most people do, and the rest might just be too distracted to notice.

Do you converse? It would be after all a bit impolite to babble about and then not react to yourself, would it? Your most trusted advisor (cough cough self-talk cough cough) at your disposal!

Do you... argue? And here we are: The bottom of the pit. Smile into a mirror and the mirror smiles back. Smile a fake smile into a mirror and it's up to you and your skill in self-deception to believe it or not. But what about open opposition?

I admit, I am prone to these arguments. Debates of a kind, popping up in my head. And no, I don't talk about debating pros and cons with myself. I talk about debating and reasoning against myself. The transition is not – as one might expect – slow and smooth. There is a clear cut when one half of the conversation becomes silent, imaginative. Imagine me, walking true a forest or sitting on a bench, and I speak words with my mouth while the other part of the conversation is only in my mind.

“Talking to yourself” usually means to speak out loud every word of the play script. But here: I speak “Character 1” while “Character 2” is only heard in my head. This is, when it becomes a debate, when we disagree, when Me becomes a We: two characters with different opinions.

These – for the most part – polite debates take their time. It can go back and forth, both sides well aware in advance what the other one is thinking. Yet there is no simple solution, the two characters not being named shoulder angle and shoulder devil. Is the inner voice my conscience? The rational, clever, human part? Or is it representing my inner fears and thought patterns that need to be overcome?

This week, the inner voice was the impatient one, urging for action. Did I call it to me? Or did it bang the confinement it was in, raising attention and a chance to be heard?

Should I aim at a mutual agreement? Would that even be possible?

Talk to yourself like you would talk to a good friend. I guess that I then also need to listen to myself like I would listen to a good friend.

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