thaison

Go to gifted schools and you know the majority of them are there for their parents and have little to no interest in the subjects or just have any interests at all. That's why they have no qualms about cheating on tests and hating people who do actual work. You could still count that as having ambitions and life goals. But for whom? Also kids with above intelligence also often have advanced social awareness and use it to their advantage. Generally it means denying natural but uncool urges, and masquerading their performative kindness and empathy or whatever that's hip presently.

Can't have a minute of peace with people thinking one gender being pressured on appearance is bad while the other gender being pressured on ambition is advantageous. Have you seen a bunch of successful but miserable narcissistically disordered people? When you lack a core sense of self, ambition or life goals are just varieties of make-up products.

Okay you might not want to hear this and it might be embarrassing for you, but it was both sublimation and altruism.

By the way, with all the moralization that make obsessive so joyless, they are not even the mature ones they think they are.

So the more mature defenses are humor, sublimation and altruism. And I think I have always been doing just fine on my own. If anything better, it would be someone who listens.

Sounds simple enough? But that's exactly the problem.

If people can't do the coping well themselves, they can't bear it for another person. So they often dismiss it with rationalization “Don't worry, karma will come for him”, or moralization “You should forgive him, everyone has their problem”. Sorry but I don't buy any of those.

And if you want to double rationalize, it will be “People say those things because they care for you, you should feel better.” Yeah my heart doesn't function that way.

So it's constant dismissals, which leaves humor the only defense I display in public and even between friends. Because I would rather do things alone than receive inadequate support. And people see I'm funny, they tend not to investigate further if I have other emotions as well.

Unlike a narcissistic person, validation and affirmation do nothing for me. So even if I do achieve something, I feel good because I value the process or the outcome of making it.

If all the support I get is praises for my achievements or my look, along with moralization on how I should conform to some standard they don't even know why, I feel the relationship transactional, because it is. That's why I barely dated at all. For even if I wanted a transactional relationship, it seemed very much like I would get a very bad business deal anyway.

When an obsessive person feels bad on a day they don't work, it's often because they have critical parents and also because they are boring and have no hobbies. In your case, I know it's sublimation.

But it was sad just by growing up. And I felt alone with my emotions. As it always seemed to affect me more than my sister for the same events that happened to both of us.

Talking about body part that's barely used.

Like being boring is not lame enough, obsessive are routinely paranoid's enablers on wildest political adventures. For paranoid's splitting offers easy solutions for obsessive to be model upstanding highly respected citizens, who they always aspire to be. On cognitive level, it often makes sense. But they don't split as hard as paranoid, so they tend to feel uneasy somewhere in the body but don't know exactly where. No one tells them it is the heart, of which the body part they barely use on a daily basis. They lash out at the rest of the population for not being as compassionate as them, all the while don't know they score the least on openness.

2 obsessive people match each other's dignity checklists. Then find out none of them do what they say.

It's windy today. Almost blew my bicycle as well as myself on it.