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She didn't even mention the name of her crush once. So what's the point of having an encrypted diary anyway.
She didn't even mention the name of her crush once. So what's the point of having an encrypted diary anyway.
When I was 15, I wrote an essay on Love and broke the record. My teacher loved it so much, she read it to the entire school and several other schools nearby.
So it was very painful just 3 years later I cut contact with everyone again, even my best friends.
It's hard to explain this because it doesn't seem like a problem for everyone, idealization feels just as dehumanizing as devaluation. But yes, if you were a gifted kid, you might be familiar with the concept. That you are valued, but not as a whole person. Or if you are known as a cool kid for carrying spray paints and drawing graffiti all over school walls, those boys don't actually want to know if you have other hobbies too. Even if there are 1 or 2 people do care about you genuinely, when you live in that environment for too long, you would probably assume they don't value you as much. What you want is not another compliment, but someone curious enough to want to see you for who you are.
It wasn't so much avoidance that I ran the hell out of the country at 20. It was the conclusion that I would never be understood.
People who quickly think you are sophisticated for reading books (but don't know exactly what you read, or who you disagree with, or what you take from those books) are the same people who think you are shallow for dressing fanciful.
In my defense, I only did that once in elementary. And secondly, one should not stamp days of a week when they write their diary in symbol substitution cipher.
You see, I have to enjoy every bit of the attention I can get, so I don't have to fill my narcissistic needs with the desire to tell random people how to live their lives correctly. It's all about survival.
Too many times people are not as mature as they think they are. They think they learn to be adults, but what they actually learn is how to camouflage their narcissism better.
Which is why if you are in a group of 15 year-old-girls and you haven't learned reaction formation, you will get called arrogant. In reality, your narcissism and theirs are just about the same amount. They move on to be moralizers while you stay in the rawest form. But one way is more socially acceptable than the other, because the culture is doomed.
Still got called naive by just about everyone. Which begs the question: What's the alternative? Walking around acting competent when I'm not?
Unlike my cousin who spent half a day talking about whales, and the other half about other members of the animal kingdom. I was fully aware people didn't enjoy listening to raw information for a long period of time. So like any normal 9-year-old, I spent my daytime talking strictly about homework with my classmates, and 4 hours a day after school talking to total strangers who know what age from the science forum. Didn't even talk about science most of the time, but those kids had the same sense of humor, so it was always enjoyable.
You stay in the drawer of my unsolved cases.
Well depressive in STEM is a marginalized group too.