thaison

But we were never close. I felt missing out sometimes when I saw kids facetime calling to their grandparents all happy, then their grand told them they would make good food for them when they got home. But even if I had caring relatives, I don't know if I would want that. Or would it only make it harder for me to be myself? Like how we all studied the same history lessons, other kids learned to be proud of our bravery, accomplishment and a sense of duty, all I learned was how to run away from danger.

Now that you know I can't recall dates and names, you would understand why I hate those kids with special interests in memorizing facts then do nothing with said data.

There was a huge dispute in the East Sea territory in 2014 when I was preparing for the college entrance exam. I felt like I was the only one had the mind working and telling people to listen to adults and politicians because everyone my age was out for blood.

So I already thought about it. I would be either Mulan or the first one to flee to another country. More likely to be the latter.

I threw away the last bottle of Concerta but I still have ADHD. So unlike my other autistic friends, besides having social issues, I have also been an underachiever.

I do envy my friends with better academic achievements because I never followed through with mine. I also envy my other friends who didn't care for politics enough to have to deal with moral dilemmas in their jobs and sabotage themselves.

I also watched my dad go mute then quit a good paying job for a way worse one for no reason and baffled everyone around.

So maybe next time, use adjectives to describe people. If they threaten with violence, describe them as sadistic. If they are forceful with their opinions, describe them as controlling.

People can envy for various reasons. Those above are only 3. Some people who have critical parents can be envious as well. If you ask them, maybe they wouldn't mind telling you why. Pretty sure someone else already said, if you can't empathize with hate and envy, you can't empathize at all.

You making it about genders has much more to do with your own rationalization than their envy problem.

They enlisted me to the army once. Was supposed to do the body examination like all other boys.

Culturally, we can’t argue or get mad at each other on the first day of New Year, because it’s bad luck. Parents would get very upset otherwise. But you also meet all your relatives on the same day. So it’s the best day of the year to collect grievances. It was a struggle every time.

Personally I don't buy into cultural norms. But I don't mind other people doing it. Or having their lifestyles accidentally align with it. Like half of the people I hung out with or family members. What separates them from the annoying types is how consistent they are with it.

Like, if you think pressuring boys into having ambitions and careers gives them advantages and not damaging at all. Maybe the fact that they get angry because of someone with a bad thesis has more thing to do with those ambitions and life goals than anything else. Maybe their disproportionate anger does come from envy. But envy of what? Now you assign their problem purely comes from hatred for the other gender because it benefits you both times.

Be a victim half of the time only. Because all the time is not realistic.

Morning tutor. I'm having salt coffee today.

Funny thing about me as a person who frequently got criticized for my expression and racial origin since age of 5, I never called any one sexist or racist, because I knew those were never their problems. But desire to dominate and control other people. Accuracy is very important to me. So I just called them stupid.

People with stupid opinions about genders annoy me.