view
♪ We'll fill the metro sky with country air. ♫
♪ We'll fill the metro sky with country air. ♫
It's important to talk about the past, because whatever we do today, will only make sense 10 years later.
So my friend said I should forgive my classmates. And I answered “You can't know love without knowing hate”. Because I was such a cool teenager.
Remember in high school, you brought new problems to yourself every day, gave your parents chances to realize they have different answers to politics and existentialism.
Obsessiveness is half the fun of it.
❤︎ Somewhere out there, someone is just as sick about the whole thing as you ❤︎
It was confusing when you were 10 and told your relatives to get lost for their condescending comments while having constant nightmares about going to prison. Because that's when you realized you didn't care for authority but also smart enough to want a distance from troubles.
Having difficulty managing emotions, prone to meltdowns means I hold affection longer and deeper, but also anger and hate. How does it look in real life? I have the potential to be both a hero and a criminal.
Like, stopping the bully from harassing a girl, which resulted in getting the first death threat for myself. 6th grade was fun. But also, not that great of a person for the whole rap song on the table thing, especially when it wasn't even a real conflict. I mean she made fun of the poor, but I could have just explained to her like a normal person. After all, people gave me plenty of chances to grow up gently.
When we were kids, my sister and I used to argue all the time about how we approached conflicts despite having the same moral values. I accused her of being a coward for not doing the right things. She accused me of being an idiot for not thinking ahead. Luckily we grew up to appreciate our differences so that rarely happens anymore. Because the world would need both kinds of people. And we both learned to have better balance of each trait.
Anyone says their hyperempathy means they are always loving and kind is lying. That's not empathy. That's reaction formation.
Can't fault someone for not having the mental capacity or access to information to draw the right conclusions, which is the majority of the population. It takes a certain personality to think the world is out to get them, enough that makes them spend more time than reasonable to thrive in conflicts. Because most of us have other hobbies too. Normally they are the ones who are blind to the real reasons behind the actions and sublimate grievance to activism.
Being both popular and hated in junior high offered me many interesting interactions.
I don't think I have trust issue, or at least I don't understand what that means. Making judgments is evolution 101. And being unable to trust becomes dysfunctional only when you alienate yourself, and not just because you don't have the same interests with other people.
The reason I hesitate to accept help is, most of the time, people are dishonest about their intentions, even without their own knowledge.
Why do you think parents with over self-sacrificing tendencies also often push too hard their children to academic success? Why do you think “activists” spend 2 minutes of critical thinking to tell you to believe someone because of their gender or a mental illness they have? Why do you think someone wants to hang out with you because they think you should come out of your shell? Why do you think someone's altruistic business ideas often line up with what profits them the most?
Selfishness is not the problem. The problem is the denial of it. And when someone denies selfish stakes in their offers to help, any actions will be justified. What comes out of it is parents' refusal of their kids to be anything less than successful. “Activists” happily destroy someone's career. “Activists” happily “validate” someone's destruction because they are too busy being kind to read the materials. “Activists” happily spread nonsense because they are too busy being hyper empathetic to think about the consequences. (Mentioned them 3 times for personal beefs.) “Friends” are disappointed that you refuse their “help” to become someone else. And business owners are more than willing to destroy someone's life because their cause is for the good already so just get over it.
Actually I only spend 10 minutes a day being bitter and the rest is relatively happy. Because I do have hope and I met reasonable people all the time. But I won't agree with the whole “we shouldn't be judgemental” or “let's spread kindness everywhere”.
And I can accept your kindness, but you will have to tell me your selfish desires first.
Nothing says “I value you as a human” more than memorizing 3 sheets of empathetic stock phrases so you can apply them on multiple occasions.