thaison

So there was a paper about people studying economics makes them more right-wing. But since I haven't learned how to read research because my education is limited, I can't say if it's correct or not. But I know some social anthropology academic people think it's a gotcha for them that they finally have evidence about people they always deem morally corrupted.

Social workers can virtue signal all day every day and it doesn't matter. They do not get paid for understanding their greed. In fact, it's better for their finance and popularity among their peers that they deny it exists.

But if you are a freelancer, small business or just trying to do business of any kind, not understanding your greed actually makes it easier for someone to take advantage of you. Because you deny it in yourself, you will hate anyone who reminds you that it exists. You will be buddies with people who are exploitative because they are more willing to lie to you. Boderline often cries they are victims of scams. Half of the time it's true, the other half is they bring it to themselves.

People should be worried way more when someone both works in business and is a socialist.

I'm cutting down on coffee starting from today :(

The greatest tragedy is, as a kid, obsessive was gullible enough to believe their parents that having a great career would make them desirable as a boy. So they give up their libido in the pursuit of greatness. Because they thought their parent were talking about a personality trait, but in cultural contexts, it meant being a provider.

As an adult, they are gullible enough to believe feminists that integrity and equality would make them desirable. So they give up humor and spontaneity to be morally self-righteous in the pursuit of being the best version of themselves. But feminists are lying, so it still means being a provider. You just can't talk about it and need to express guilt so feminists can feel carefree.

Now that being career-driven can actually be just a personality trait. And having a good character can actually be admirable. Those are things to sell who you are, not to sell what you can contribute. And when money is out of the picture, primitive needs will balance things out. Which are, look and sex, and having fun. Unfortunately obsessive don't have any of those anymore.

Probably shouldn’t talk about it in the morning.

No my one real job was in HCM city. But we also worked on hyper realistic characters. The European way is becoming a runner (buying coffee for staffs) for 2 years, then work in environment department for 10 years, with a lot of luck you MIGHT have the chance to transition to characters. But in Asia you can work on character for big projects right away, because of outsourcing. Which is great because you have the chance to hate big corps sooner and don't hang on to your dreams of working with them just to feel proud for the little credit that no ones look at when they close the games or when everyone leaves the theaters.

Anyway, since it's hyper realistic, we have to learn a lot about anatomy and muscles. My opinion still stands: too much muscle is ugly. Can't say for people I worked with because they are as bland as superhero comic. They will go with whatever people tell them what is trendy this year. Which is why all people who criticize the AAA industry are devs and not artists, because they have no backbone. And also because devs can go indie.

We learned all the veins that ever exist, like at a medical student level. So I know a lot about human body. In theory.

When we talk about skin contact between friends, normally it meant I was kicking somebody's ass, literally. And then we run several times around the school yard. Because that was how high schoolers behaved.

I also bought a banana bread today because it's too delicious.

Since finishing each task, then waiting for new ones to come, results in time gaps of having nothing to do and breeds too much anxiety. I'm working on like 5 different things in rotation. Which, also makes me anxious as heck. But at least it's not existential.

Settling down means I probably won't impulsively buy stupid things for new hobbies and get bored quickly every few months.

Attachment theory is so flimsy that yes, I didn't want anyone especially boys to ever touch me, and was commitment phobic, and also highly secretive. And that made me a dismissive avoidant!

But that probably has more to do with the fact that boys often think of me as some sort of trophy to be acquired. That once they tear down the external hardness, I will become normal and totally conform to social norms. And also because a 13-year-old called me sexy as a 12-year-old, and I still want to throw up ever since.

Since I saw the slightest hint of understanding, I have no problem settling down right this afternoon.