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Should've turned it into some steamy lucid dream.
Should've turned it into some steamy lucid dream.
Last night I had a nightmare inside a nightmare inside a dream.
Please be careful. There might be landslide after the flood.
I heard water is back again. Not at full capacity yet. But I guess it's only getting better now.
Once again I'm sitting on 40L of water.
ConSuMEr my ass. Go learn some basic econ and come back and tell me what a “consumer” again.
“it's not your fault, but it is your problem”
Do you even understand half the words you said? Because that's precisely YOUR problem. And you want others to fix YOUR problem. Meanwhile, that seems to have zero troubles for the supposed fixer.
The quote that you chose is SPECIFICALLY for people like YOU!
When you get in trouble and you ask for help, but the help is costly for others, mentally or financially, so you can't ask it for free. And people say “Nah. You do it.”
Could have just said “You made me feel stupid”. But no. It has to wrap around folk wisdom and half-baked economic theory. Narcissistic obsessive dumbass.
OK I'm a bit crueler lately because with my new knowledge, I realized many times in the past, that dude made fun of me. All the while I thought they were just boring but overall positive experiences.
It never makes sense to me why anyone would do that because “Don't you want to spend time with people you can be real? Why waste your own time being miserable?”
But people like him function on a different dimension of the universe. And with the great power of rationalization and the need to be socially admirable, one can convince oneself to do anything.
When we were kids, I took his bluntness as a sign of authenticity. But it wasn't. It was a sign of lacking understanding of social dynamics. I chose to be blunt after knowing the cost of it. He was blunt because bluntness was natural and didn't cause him trouble at that point, as autistic boys often face social consequences later than girls. Once they understand the social game, most autistic boys choose the reward of being players.
Okay I'm a bit scattered today. Normally, mood swing is my only reliable sign of a major upcoming hormonal change in the next 7 days. Because my biology works on a totally different timetable compared to a normal person.
And for the record, my decision to deceive my parents was justified. Although my secret only lasted for a month because my sister betrayed me and told my mom. I already paid my own tuition the first year and covered some of my expenses. I even paid some registration fees for my sister. Although she had a scholarship because her field was in social science. Yes, my 1-year operation of drop shipping paid extremely well.
And when I decided to stop doing it, My mom and sister helped me financially in return. That magically cured my narcissism because I couldn't deny their help nor secretly devalue them to save my pride. I mean, I could devalue them, but I didn't.
I'm gonna treat every vague statement as an indication that reality is way worse than their literary skill. Cause that's normally the case.
“Optimism can be a problem. But it is better than being defeated.” → I gambled and lost. But I would like to gamble again.
” That day I walked into a new world. And everyone lives in a different world that doesn't cross mine.” → Someone close found out that I was a two-faced liar and informed my whole friend circle. I got excluded because the evidence was undeniable. I need to make new friends who don't know my past now that I have a bad rep.
” In the dark abyss, I was saved. From that day I tell myself to always be kind because you might not know what others are going through.” → I lied to my parents while using their money. They found out and that was super shameful. I can't even tell this story without making myself look extremely entitled. So I'm gonna just convey my pain in hope no one asks the origin where that pain comes from.