thaison

So in 9th grade, my sadistic classmate said this to my face: “I saw your mom at the mid-autumn festival, she is just an ethnic minority”. To which I replied “Yet my mom is still better than yours, and I'm still better than you.”

I was pretty proud of my avoidance. And I think it was an appropriate response. Do I often go around and flex my narcissism? Of course not. But there are people who deserve that treatment. For the same reason you don't want to argue reality with paranoid individuals, or you don't want to apologize to malicious people even if you do have part of the blame: reality is complex and there is no one right way to do things.

So whenever someone says you should treat everyone equally, always be humble, be united not divided. All I see is someone who lacks experience, which makes them boring to be around. Or someone who practices reaction formation, which makes them both boring and unsafe to have any interaction with.

00110101 00110000 00101011 00110100 00110111 00110011

Half of the childhood was spent on arguing with my sister about our different definitions of friendship. That debate has yet settled.

The internet is great. Would have had zero friends without it.

Waking up in an unusual hour and seeing your friends on Yahoo chat online too.

Came out to one of my friends from junior high few years ago, to which he said “Everyone at school knew”.

The symptom is “having trouble making friends”. And my problem was never that I didn't know how to do it. But that there were not many people I wanted to be friends with. That's why I called people dense whenever they made the autism joke.

Also, I probably have the most negative views on civilization among everyone I know as I kept screaming at my sister “Naive people annoy me!”. It made sense that solitude came as a choice rather than a deficit.

Too many times I hear people comment on people with splitting behaviors something along the lines: “But they are total angels when they don't split”, or “I know deep down they are kind and empathetic”.

Well, when someone denies aggression ever exists at all, of course what you have left is an overly helpful person and all other good traits, at least in public. But the thing about being emotionally dishonest regularly is you never know when the dark side comes and goes. You can't have just the self-sacrificing person for your benefit. Because more often than not, they find loopholes along the way to justify the cruelty when it's necessary. It's kind of a whole package deal.

Back in the early 2000s, a publisher actually sent me a letter. But the postman decided to withhold said letter. Also my reward money for solving the weekly puzzle.

See you in the math class.

Also, geography classes made the best dreams.