Setting aside their recent differences in order to challenge a “long standing and dangerous fraud” Monday, popular Twitter personalities @bearableguy123 and @BabaCugs united to call out Santa Claus.
“His wondrous but unsubstantiated promises of great future gifts to hopeful and impressionable minds is harmful,” said the duo in a mutual post on Reddit. “And we won't stand for it any more.”
Angry tweet from BabaCugs in which he and Bearableguy accuse Santa of fraudulent promises of great things to come.
In addition to standing up to Father Christmas, the two influential XRP community members also announced plans to begin campaigns against the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and the Ripple Riddler, among many others they consider to be frauds.
“Wherever there's a phony character promising magical shit they can't deliver on,” said Bearableguy and Baba, “we'll be there...”
Coil subscribers can see Bearableguy123's angry tweet about Leprechauns below
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Fully depleting their remaining 2020 payroll budget to seize the golden opportunity Friday, XRP the Standard Productions paid a reported $50,000 to obtain leaked photographs of the elusive XRP Ledger co-founder Arthur Britto.
“We got him!” said XRP_Productions' Editor-In-Chief Clay Finkelstein. “The world won't believe it when they see this...”
*You're NOT a* *Coil subscriber**? Are you NUTS?! If you wanna see JUICY content like the stuff below, you gotta support the XRP ecosystem and* *SUBSCRIBE**, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD**!!!*
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Not learning his lesson from a previous experimental disaster, David Schwartz, CTO of blockchain payments company Ripple, accidentally cloned himself dozens of times after trying to make experimental upgrades to the XRP ledger Wednesday.
“Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops...,” said the dozens of Schwartzes as they each began to materialize around the room. “Oh boy... that wasn't supposed to happen...”
Schwartz #7 and Schwartz #22 asking Schwartz #3 what he is reading during the aftermath of Wednesday's disastrous XRP ledger experiment.
The cloning was halted after two dozen of the materialized Schwartzes put their heads together and quickly discovered a programming remedy. All-in-all, forty-seven David Schwartzes were created.
“I'm getting awfully tired of David's dangerous tinkerings,” said Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse. “But at least this time it might work to our advantage... we hired all forty-seven Schwartzes and they only wanted to be paid in taquitos and Diet Coke...”
*Coil subscribers can see the inspiration behind this satire below**...*
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Always in search of the 'next big thing' in the world of money-making, President Donald Trump discovered the innovative new startup Coil.com late last week and quickly enabled the Republican National Convention to receive instant web-monetized micropayments in the form of the digital asset XRP.
“It's a big, beautiful technology,” said Trump, referring to Coil in his RNC speech Wednesday. “A tremendous technology. I'm getting sent XRP's for each second you watch—can you believe that? XRP's. Instant. Amazing...”
December 2019tweet from Coil, highlighting one of the many businesses and content creators to team up with the young platform, the Republican National Committee being the latest to implement their web-monetization services.
Coil, which allows content creators to instantly earn micropayments in US dollars or XRP for each second a Coil subscriber views their content, informed XRP_Productions that the RNC partnership does not imply an endorsement of the political party.
“I hate Trump,” said Coil CEO Stefan Thomas. “But I loooove his decision on this. Everyone should web-monetize through Coil!”
**[...CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Shocking the online crypto community Tuesday, XRP_Productions investigative reporters released a stunning report that popular crypto-Twitter account ShakoDoggo was actually run by ne'er-do-well XRP-FUD monger CrappoCatto.
“A story like this doesn't come along every day,” said Herb Gimbels, the journalist who broke the gargantuan news. “CrappoCatto was using the ShakkoDoggo account to pretend he was an XRP supporter... and he was days away from turning it into an XRP-FUD machine.”
CrappoCatto, the unsavory character behind Twitter's ShakoDoggo account, displaying one of the clever memes he was planning to release online before being exposed by XRP_Productions investigative reporters.
Seeing the freshly-released news and realizing the authorities were soon to be hot on his case, CrappoCatto reportedly went into hiding late Tuesday night.
“You haven't seen the end of Crappo,” read a note left at CrappoCatto's abandoned apartment. “Muahahahahaaaaa!”
*Coil subscribers can see what CrappoCatto used to look like in his early days of Bitcoin maximalism below**...*
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Marking his first return to the world of online journalism since 2011, Michael Arrington, entrepreneur and founder of TechCrunch, purchased crypto-news startup XRP the Standard Productions Monday for a reported $38.4 million.
“Anyone who knows me knows I'm an impulsive guy,” said Arrington to XRP_Productions reporters. “I heard these guys were leaps and bounds beyond any other crypto news publication... so I figured, 'what the hell, I'll buy 'em.'”
Arrington's purchase immediately drew criticism from a number of colleagues and friends, each of them claiming that the savvy businessman was surprisingly unaware that the news firm was just a single person writing mediocre satire who would probably have sold for around 100 bucks.
Ripple founder Chris Larsen chiding friend Michael Arrington at a conference Monday for paying an exorbitant $38 million forXRP the Standard Productions. “You do realize it's a bullshit little satire publication run by one loser, right?” said Larsen.
Arrington was unfazed by the censure, telling reporters that satire might actually be the only sane form of journalism in the crypto world.
“Most stuff in this industry is bat-shit crazy, right?” said Arrington. “Might as well have a laugh...”
*Coil subscribers can see why Michael Arrington thinks XRP the Standard Productions may not have been satire all along below**...*
Taking to Twitter to eviscerate the party, President Donald Trump fired off a furious tweet against Democrats Saturday, accusing them of intentionally removing the word “XRP” from their recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance during their online national convention.
“It's a typical Democrat move,” said Trump in a phone interview afterwards with XRP_Productions. “They're trying to systematically destroy the country, beginning with censoring words. Important words. Words like XRP.”
Joe Biden directly addressing President Trump's accusations that the Democrats purposefully left the word “XRP” out of the Pledge of Allegiance. “It was a simple mistake,” said Biden. “No big deal. I forget words all the time...”
The President doubled down Saturday night, tweeting that he would not only never forget to say 'XRP' in the pledge, but would also support a bill making it illegal to not include it in recitations.
“It will be a great bill,” said the President. “The greatest. A big, beautiful bill. A tremendous bill. And no one will ever be allowed to ignore XRP again...”
Coil subscribers can see the source of this satire below
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Telling XRP_Productions reporters that he “[doesn't] want to miss a bitchin' deal,” Stellar founder Jed McCaleb has announced his plans Friday to temporarily halt the selling of his billions of XRP in order to take advantage of the upcoming Flare Networks Spark token issuance.
“Righteous!” said McCaleb about the 1:1 XRP-to-Spark drop that Flare has promised is coming soon. “Lemme see... that means that I could get like... 4 BILLION Spark for free! BITCHIN'!”
Stellar founder and XRP Ledger co-creator Jed McCaleb speaking with XRP_Productions about the “badass” prospect of being one of the “top swingin' d*cks in the Spark token world” since halting his XRP sales in anticipation of the giveaway.
The blockchain superstar did not give a time frame for when he would continue his XRP sales, indicating that he would be amenable to waiting many months for the Spark drop to take place.
“I'm already an XRP whale and an XLM whale,” said McCaleb, “and now I can get the trifecta with Spark?? Tubular!! I'll wait as long as it takes, bra!!”
*Coil subscribers can see the detailed plan that Jed McCaleb wrote up to secure his Spark tokens below**...*
**[... and CLICK HERE for more stories the main stream crypto news media is AFRAID to tell. You're welcome, world.
Bearableguy123 and BabaCugs Join Forces to Call Out Santa Claus
