Brimming with nervous excitement during his exclusive interview with XRP_Productions Sunday, Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Jay Clayton gushed about his “long-held dreams” to begin his own YouTube channel dedicated to the digital asset XRP.
“I almost literally can't wait,” said Clayton, grabbing a nearby pillow and screaming into it. “I've had all these ideas for so many killer shows swimming around my head for over a year!”
“They're super-nice,” said Clayton, holding up a signed picture of himself, Garlinghouse and Schwartz. “And David's so smart—when I met him I was like, ' WOW, check out the brain on this guy!' Ha ha!”
SEC Chairman Jay Clayton's agenda from August, 2018, the day he first met Brad Garlinghouse and David Schwartz. Clayton admits to being obsessed with XRP ever since.
Revealing that it's been “tricky” to hide his XRP-obsession for nearly a year and a half, Clayton hopes that his 2020 plans to issue a no-action letter to Ripple will settle the XRP/security debate and allow him to fully come out of the closet.
“It's gonna be so badass,” said Clayton. “That's when I'll start my channel. I have my microphone—I just need to figure out how to hook it up, haha—I'm so nervous! I'm gonna have an American flag draped behind me—is that too much, you think?”
Clayton's title-topics for his first week of shows include, “Why I Think XRP is Not a Security,” “My Meeting With Brad and David,” “Why XRP is So Cool,” and “What Does 'Moon' Mean to Me and When Do I Think We'll Get There?”
Standing before an intimidating line of potential investors in addition to millions of television viewers, Litecoin founder Charlie Lee appeared on ABC's hit show 'Shark Tank' Saturday to market his bold new business venture 'Litecoin Tees'.
“My name is Charlie,” said Lee, dabbing droplets of sweat from his forehead while addressing the sharks. “And I make T-shirts.”
Since reportedly selling all his Litecoin in 2017 at near-all-time-high prices, Lee stated that he has had more freedom to give his attention to labors of love. Combining his passion for Litecoin, whose foundation he continues to assist, and T-shirts, Lee has revealed hopes to take 'Litecoin Tees' to the moon.
“Litecoin is like silver to Bitcoin's gold,” said Lee to a visibly confused investor panel. “But put it on a T-shirt and it's platinum!”
Though each of the sharks ultimately firmly passed on the investment pitch, calling security to drag Lee out of the room, Lee has remained undeterred.
“They can't tell me this isn't a multi-million dollar idea,” said Lee in an after-show interview. “I mean, you tell me: What's better than a T-shirt? And what better use-case for Litecoin than to be on one?”
It was a night to remember for world-Bitcoin superpower China as they yet again dominated the annual Bitcoin Awards Ceremony, taking home 24 of the 25 honors.
“We couldn't be happier,” said Xi Jinping, General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, President of the People's Republic of China, and Chairman of the Central Military Commission. “We work very hard to provide dirt-cheap, filthy power that allows large mining warehouses to continue to pursue their pointless, environment-destroying proof-of-work calculations. This is truly an honor.”
China's Xi Jinping expressing great pleasure that China has once again swept the Annual Bitcoin Awards, displaying the “beautiful and awe-inspiring stranglehold” his country has over the cryptocurrency.
Much to the chagrin of other areas of the world that hope to grab a piece of the Bitcoin pie, the Bitcoin Awards juggernaut that is China shows no signs of slowing down. Recent reports indicate China controls an impressive 65% of hash power, a number which has been steadily and impressively increasing.
Notable awards from the night included:
Biggest Hash Power (Winner: China)
Most Energy Consumption (Winner: China)
Largest Mining Mega-Warehouse (Winner: China)
Best YouTube Personality (Winner: Bitcoin Ben)
Most Able to Cause a Double-Spend (Winner: China)
Most Communist Country Involved in Bitcoin (Winner: China)
Filthiest Pollution As A Result of Coal-Fired Electricity Provided for the Futile, Pointless Purpose of Performing Proof-of-Work Algorithms Necessary to Keep the Bitcoin Network Up and Running Even Though There Are Cleaner, More Efficient, Safer, Faster, More Decentralized Technologies Like XRP (Winner: China)
Shoving the crypto world's brains in a blender and hitting 'puree' Thursday, Tether Limited announced the printing of 70 sextillion USDT.
The impressive amount whets the appetite of many crypto 'Hodlers' who are aware of past correlations between large USDT printings and dramatic spikes in the price of Bitcoin and altcoins.
“This is it!” said popular YouTuber 'Bitcoin Ben'. “You know what $70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 worth of Tether means? Forget the moon—we're going to another galaxy!!”
Others in the cryptocurrency world are a bit suspicious by the large printing, citing previous questions about whether or not the Tether is “backed” by real value, despite Tether Limited's claims that all of their printed USDT is matched 1-1 by US dollar value.
“Yes, it concerns me a little,” said Mike Novogratz, CEO of Galaxy Investment Partners — a cryptocurrency investment firm, “Especially since $70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 is about a hundred million times all of the calculated money in the world. BUT... it could finally just be the inrush of institutional Bitcoin investing that I've been telling everyone about.”
FRANKFURT — Giving herself a well-deserved pat on the back Thursday, European Central Bank President Christine Lagarde expressed great satisfaction in getting through her entire debut speech without slipping up and mentioning “Ripple” or “XRP”.
“Play back the tape, if you don't believe me,” said Lagarde, speaking to members of the press after the speech at a European banking conference. “It's really quite remarkable. I didn't say it once. Not once! Ha!”
Ripple, the blockchain payments company with ties to Lagarde's former organization The International Monetary Fund as well as to central banks around the world, has made massive headway in establishing a new global payments infrastructure that utilizes the digital asset XRP for on-demand liquidity and instant settlement of cross-border payments. It has led many in the field of international finance to speculate that it's only a matter of time before its inevitable adoption is mentioned directly by world financial leaders.
“Not today,” said Lagarde, pumping her fist. “Can you believe it? I was able to discuss bank settlements and clearings being done digitally and instantly without ever saying the words 'Ripple' or 'XRP'. Score one for Christine!”
Lagarde told reporters her goal is to make it through the remainder of 2019 and most of 2020 without having to utter the words, though it is getting more difficult as time goes by.
“There will come a time when I admit the obvious: Ripple and XRP are going to revolutionize global finance. But not today!”
Presently serving up a delicious meal of cost- and time-savings to their over 300 bank and financial institution clients worldwide, blockchain payments company Ripple released Tuesday that they will now be including two sets of McWinkyBurger coupon books to new Ripplenet customers.
“Institutions already know they can save trillions with Ripple,” said CEO Brad Garlinghouse, referring to the trillions of dollars of locked capital that can be freed up by using Ripple's revolutionary 'on-demand liquidity' through the digital asset XRP. “But wait 'til they hear they can now get 50% off a 'McWinkyDoubleCheezee' and a free small chocolate 'McWinkyFreezee' with any meal purchase.”
“It's really a game-changer,” said Ana Botin, Executive Chairman of Santander Group. “Banks joining Ripplenet was always a matter of when, not if. But adding the McWinkyBurger incentive? Mark my words: This will be massive and this will be immediate.”
McWinkyBurger, the Pittsburgh-based hamburger chain, has four U.S. locations. Two of the locations, Charlotte, North Carolina and Hackensack, New Jersey have agreed to accept the coupons.
Emerging from a chamber door seconds after taking an unannounced, closed meeting with FaceBook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, top Congressional members chanted in unison Monday that they “approve any and all things associated with FaceBook's Libra project.”
The private meeting seemed to be a surprise to all involved, with most congressional staffers unaware that it was even on the agenda.
“The Representative was in the middle of a conversation with us in his office,” said Brad Barnes, assistant to House Financial Services Committee member Patrick McHenry (R-NC). “In fact, we were just about to all have lunch, when a strange tone came through his smartphone in his pocket.” Barnes explained that McHenry abruptly stopped talking, pivoted, and began walking out of the room robotically.
A number of other staffers recounted similar experiences.
“She had just gone into the bathroom,” said Jeanne Davis, a senior staffer of Representative Carolyn Maloney (D-NY), “but as soon as the door closed, she came back out again. She didn't say a word—and there was a strange tone coming from her purse.”
McHenry and Maloney were joined by “dozens of glassy-eyed Congressmen and women,” all of them filing into a room in the north wing, none of them speaking.
Two Congressmen walking robotically to the unannounced meeting with Mark Zuckerberg seconds after hearing strange tones from their smartphones.
According to staffer accounts, within seconds Mark Zuckerberg materialized in the hall and floated into the meeting room, the doors closing behind him untouched.
“There was a glow coming out of the bottom of the door,” said Capitol Hill security guard Victor Chavez. “Never seen anything like it before! In a couple seconds, the Congressmen came walking out, chanting something about approving 'Libra', whatever that is.”
This is an abrupt change for U.S. legislators, who in October had met Zuckerberg with stern judgment and skepticism in hearings concerning Libra, a permissioned digital currency that Facebook is making efforts to create and implement.
Thus far, Mark Zuckerberg has not responded to XRP_Productions' request for comment.
Shocking the fintech and digital asset world, blockchain payments company Ripple admitted Monday that they mistakenly sent 60 billion XRP to a phony promotion scammer on Twitter.
“My bad,” said Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse, “I'll take the blame for that one. I thought it was legit. Whoops.”
The scammer, running a fraudulent account meant to look like Ripple CTO David Schwartz, promised to send back three XRP for every one XRP sent to the posted wallet address.
“It looked like David—it had his picture on it and everything,” said Garlinghouse. “So I admit I got a little excited. I mean, how could I pass up the chance to turn 60 billion XRP into 180 billion XRP? That would've been a pretty cool deal.”
“Whoops.” Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse laughing as he recalled his mistakenly sending 60 billion XRP to a scam account on Twitter.
Garlinghouse said he realized the mistake after not receiving the 180 billion XRP after about an hour. “I mean, XRP settles in about 3 seconds,” said Garlinghouse, “so why was it taking so long? I knew something wasn't right.”
He reported that he will send out a mass e-mail today to all Ripple employees and customers, including dozens of central banks around the world, letting them know about his “little oopsy.”
NEW YORK CITY—Smashing the previous record for leftovers purchased at auction, the remnants of the famous “Bitcoin Pizza” sold at Sotheby's Saturday for $1.6 million.
Recently capturing the public's imagination, the original 2-pizza order sold for 10,000 Bitcoin in 2010 for what would amount to a present-day dollar value of approximately $75 million. The leftovers, miraculously found behind a couch last month by a subsequent tenant in the same house and verified to be authentic by Sotheby's, stirred affluent collectors around the world into a frenzy.
Foreign bidders ravenously calling in during the record-setting Bitcoin pizza leftover auction.
“I missed out on the duck-taped banana,” said the winning bidder, a Singaporean billionaire who wishes to remain anonymous, “but I damn-sure wasn't going to miss this.”
Maintaining their cryptocurrency theme, Sotheby's next auction will see a chance for collectors to purchase one of the famous “David Schwartz solar panels.” Bidding will reportedly begin at $500,000.
Explaining that the once effortless task of ignoring the digital asset XRP is getting “exceedingly difficult” as days progress, cryptocurrency enthusiast Anthony “Pomp” Pompliano has just completed an official ostrich course in head/sand relations.
“It was fantastic,” said Pompliano, laughing and tapping grains out of his ears, “and just the sort of thing I need to go back to being totally oblivious to any and all things XRP.”
Proud of his past record of refusing to mention anything about the asset, which to date is the only one in the space used at scale to solve real-world problems, Pomp said that he was failing in recent times. “I had Brad [Garlinghouse] on my podcast for over an hour a couple months back. Sheesh, not sure what I was thinking on that one. Luckily, the few times I've mentioned XRP after that have shown that I didn't absorb anything significant from the encounter.”
The Morgan Creek Digital Assets co-founder is keen on continuing to sharpen his skills in the XRP-ignoring arena however, completing his initial class and enrolling in the complete ostrich course offered by nearby New York University.
“I'm gonna finish the whole curriculum, for sure,” said Pomp. “It worked wonders for my buddy Ran Neuner and I'm sure it'll work for me as well!”
Already Saving Customers Trillions, Ripple Sweetens Deal with McWinkyBurger Coupons
