Eyes open up towards the sky
Outward through chlorine
The summer sunlight tempered through water
casting millions of unfurling white tendrils
Eyes close
The summer heat abates, drawn away
The hearts low drumbeat
Silent contemplation
I wanted to remember a moment that felt safe for me and this is what “bubbled up”. My grandparents, you see, lived in the middle of nowhere. The kind of place where you could sit on the porch and your ears would ring just because of how quiet it was. It was a really curious place.
They had a pool though which I took advantage of. During those days id just let myself relax and float. Or like above, sink beneath the water.
Heh, I haven't thought about that place in a long time.
Icy water thundering from overhead
hammering my shoulders
an endless torrent
stress
Before I started working at a startup I had spent most of my professional career in large corporations.
I hated them. (yeah I'm talking to you cube farm)
I hated the long hours, the miserable pay and the endless off hours calls. Those cubicles that became open spaces which were somehow worse. I worked like that from the mid 2000's to last year.
I thought the reason I stayed was 'stability', but more I ruminate on that im not so sure. That stability was seductive. I mean, I used that stability to create a family. I used that stability to grow my resume. I was to those large orgs a parasite providing.
Two sisters walked the road
The youngest saw a rock
she took it in her hand
and stone began to talk
“Your sister knows a secret
she won't tell you because you're young
However I'm a old soul with secrets
Better ones than hers
throw me hard at her
and ill tell you little miss
my.. very.. best.. one
The girl stopped walking – frozen
Her sister turned around
They stared at each other for a moment
then the young girls hand relaxed
the stone, fell and landed harshly
impotent on the ground
I am an only child. (dramatic pause)
As such, I have always been fascinated by familial bonds. More precisely others who have siblings.
I have always wondered what it was like to share a holiday.
To know at the amusement park you'd have someone to ride with.
To be safe in the knowledge that no matter how bad the argument you'll always have a chance at reconciliation.
To have someone to talk too given a shared upbringing.
Doesn't really matter to me, I guess, but I find that others with siblings seem to think it matters quite a lot.
Your shoes had no laces
Which you insisted was good luck
so we hiked into the mountains
with your shoes falling off
I couldn't help laughing
the first time I saw you fall
You scowled at me and laughed
Then let me help you up
Even when the rain came
we kept on walking on
and as the hike concluded
it was your shoes
that were done
Pretty sure anytime I enter a forest its a sign that it's going to rain. I like to use this quirk mostly in mid fall when all the leaves are turning. That way the ground looks like dissolved crayons and the air tastes like the bark of trees.
I put your stuffed animals above the doors
And in all the funny places I could think of
I put one in the sink;
with another offering soap
I put one on the toilet;
reading your favorite book
I placed a stuffy on the ceiling;
upside down with tape
I put a few more around the fireplace
just the penguins and a bear
Im excited for when you see it
all the things they got up too
It must be amazing
To see just what stuffed animals can do
One of my favorite things I used to do was take all my kids stuffed animals and put them all over the place. It was after toy story had come out so the kids were primed for thinking that all these animals and stuffies were alive.
Lightning sprawls across a dark canvas
Stretching, arching, bending down
Soundless, lurching faster
The air excited, the wind motionless
The old man sits in his chair as the light hits
A smile crosses his face
We had a really amazing lightning show last night. The sky looked especially aggressive. Considering how little rain that has visited it was great feeling the rain with a big band backing it up.
Looking back, those lost summer days..
You woke me up with a punch and laughed
We stole ourselves to the cliffs, into its secret places
Delved for treasures in the sandy cove
We laughed into the sunrise
Sun burnt and tired
Grace I will never forget
My cousin died last week and although she was a hard drug user for part of her life she had been clean for a few years. She was found in a cemetery, with nothing but her license, alone.
I hadn't reached out to her, because I didn't know her anymore. All I had to do was accept her as a friend on facebook and I couldn't even do that.
A wave of infinite instructions
For the moment briefly held still
Amidst the driving push of frivolous thoughts
How long I hold out against them
doesn't matter
Eventually what is falls back
and from my hands those thoughts stolen
rocks beneath waves, had they really existed
I often change browser tabs while working and lose everything that was in my head. Im sure it happens to a lot of people but for me its scary. I wonder how many thoughts I have lost at the cost of changing tabs in a browser.