When you have a lot of people saying “I wish it was you” to you as a confession, you come to a point of pondering how it would've been, and I guess that's when everything comes to down spiral.
I'm no stranger to making a mistake, to failing to be faithful to someone I promised commitment. Reflecting on the reason of my stupidity it stems from the thought that: “there is so much better”, and frankly, there will always be “someone better.” as no one is perfect. I've talked to people that are more, sweet, more daring and more young — each of them having a definitive characteristic I like better. That goes to say that that doesn't mean who I have committed to doesn't have a definitive edge either, but there will always be that little chunk missing which I can choose to accept, or have someone fill over.
Keeping prolonged contact and fantasizing over what won't happen only makes it worse. The greatest mistake in this context is entertaining it, roaming close to the fire but hoping that the heat won't burn. To people that you feel “left out” from, inhibition and control won't certainly be your forte. Temptation isn't worth fighting against, only running away from.
The greatest way to avoid feeling left out are two things from my experience: Consider what you have and be thankful for it, and the best one is to come into acceptance that some things are not for you. I have been forgiven and have chose to actively renew my contentment everyday.
Root principle: Contentment. Our world offer us that we can have so much more, but if you have not come to a point of where you are content, insatiable hunger has never done anyone any good. Be content or be left out for the rest of your life.
I went to the garden beside our room in Baguio to find a butterfly with one wing crumpled. I wonder: Since it would have a very hard time to fulfill its role, is it the same as losing its purpose? Is it now equivalent to useless?
So far to what I know their role in this world is to pollenate. After watching it for a few good minutes of struggling to get out of the concrete, I helped it up with a leaf into the brush just a feet away. While it was on the concrete, you can definitely see it struggling, falling into its back a number of times. On the brush, it had a hard time balancing on a leaf and clinging to it for its dear life. It could definitely not fly at all, now now, and not for a long while at least.
In watching its problem, I wonder: Now that it would fail to do it's designed purpose how will it live its life and how fulfilling can be the rest of its existence be. As humans, thankfully, we have the capacity to augment our handicaps given we have enough resources to be able to acquire it, but for a specie such as the butterfly, is it as good as dead to the world?
Not everyone has the luxuy to give gifts to anyone but to anyone who has you'd be surprised that it's more than just losing what you have but it's gaining something more than what meets the eye.
Last Thursday I was out to run errands when I got parched. I'm not particularly sure if I am sick or I'm just tired of extended moving from to and fro but getting the Teavana Hibiscus tea from Starbucks made the effort worthwhile. Now, it may not look like it but I already completed my sticker journal and had redeemed it already. (I'm selling it by the way, but that's for another story.) So, I opted to give it to the old man beside me and lo and behold, he grinned.
“Hijo, would you like to know how special you are?”
While unraveling his promo card he then pointed out he needed only one sticker to complete the promo. I noticed he needed the Christmas drink though and with a hint of disappointment I replied
“Oh, but that's the Christmas drink's section”
Fortunately the barista had the holiday spirit as well.
“It's alright we can consider that.” She butted joining into the joyous occassion placing the last piece of the puzzle in place.
It was such a cheerful moment: For me, the barista and the old man.
If there's anything that I took with me from that place other than the refreshing cold drink it's the thought that we don't need a miracle to be able to give, all it takes is to consider what you need and share what you don't.
P.S. A smile is something you have that you can give for free without losing anything in return.
Christmas parties with friends are best when it's diverse. You get to observe how people that can have different perspective, passions and goals come together to dine and gather as a family with a common ground.
I've always liked moving back and seeing the bigger picture: the introverts laugh with the extroverts, the condescending cheer with the caring and the tired bubble up with the jolly. It's so full of warm smiles and a time just to forget all the bad things of 2016 and appreciate what we have till the end.
I just remembered our moments last year as I played the playlist on the bluetooth stereo for dinner, and how we set up our goals in the first days of January 2016. Quite honestly, I haven't fulfilled mine. Probably only 30% of it unfortunately, but I'm thankful it is progress. 2016 while is ending as a failure definitely left an opportunity to ride a momentum for my 2017's success.
Tonigh I have attended a conference about marketing, and one thing I've noticed while hearing the speaker talk about his passion and precision in his work is this: it inspires me to strive further in that direction.
Seeing the audience, nod, smile, jot down notes and pay attention likewise creates an atmosphere that demands quality of your performance. If there was the opportunity that I could work in that place at that time for my clients, it felt like I could do what I could further than what I could do in the office.
Who you are surrounded by steers to the direction you are driven to the most. If one night with a bunch of strangers could make me feel this way, what more our colleagues and friends?
The thing about making a modern nice looking blog is that you have to have so many things to maintain its aesthetics. I grew tired and lost interest starting when I had to look for good looking images that are related to my posts. Unfortunately, facing the truth, I can only pick one: I chose beautiful looking images than related to the topic. Data says, when images are't related either people don't get the message or they find the post misleading.
So I'm stripping things down this time to begin again, I'm making the habit once again to write, and just write. No names, no images, no theme, just words. Becaue the most important about expresing is not the beauty that meets the eye, but words that speak to the soul and mind. I need to let all these thoughts out once more.