Insight into mental illness. Bipolar Schitzo effective
This donation to Milagro foundation is in Honor Of My Grandma Inez Bravo. The first person in my life that I could run to if I ever needed saving or protection. Used to defend me from anyone. Especially my mother. God Bless you Grandma. My first role model. Stern Gangster ass Lady.
This is a picture of her throwing me a birthday party when the whole manipulative illusion of a caring mother was being put on display for the camera. Before I realized what tormented me my whole life.
I am now revealing the true nature of my mothers lack of empathy. For a son she never wanted which caused her to be neglectful in ways a true mother would never allow.
This a video of my mothers and I conversation on messenger the day I remembered my repressed memory and went to the ER because the memory was so traumatizing to me that I literally went into shock.
https://www.quora.com/profile/Ricky-Bobby-640?ch=10&share=f5124f5c&srid=uAg8st
( I was looking over my Quora page and can't get access to it. Might be compromised. Reason being. I noticed something labeled baby bumpers something or other. “Unworthy worshipers have way too much the on their hands. PATHETIC!”)
Insight Into Mental Illness
Today is June 6th and it is 7:29 p.m and it is a beautiful sunny day. There is a drought were I now reside in my new place of residence. This is by far the most beautiful peaceful house I have ever had the pleasure of living in. My wife loves it. To top it off we are surrounded by the most gorgeous scenery. Best way of describing it is heaven on Earth. I get to do what I enjoy which is milking cows on a %100 organic free range dairy farm. They are very kind and humane to the cows here. Out of all the dairy farms I've ever worked on this is by far the best I have ever seen. I have truly been blessed by God. So now I thank God in the name of Jesus Christ for giving my wife and I the strength to triumph over any obstacle the unworthy, mud dragger has set forth in our path our whole lives in order to remain Vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the Strive for progress for all that have no ill will towards anyone. For we are the ones who suffer the most in this world yet we are the ones who become the strongest.AMEN. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart Over All.
By: CBC
Insight into Mental Illness
Today is Tuesday the 25th and it's 3:51 a.m. It was a positive day now that all is well in the universe. I'm excited and optimistic. I found a true form of forgiveness. Without the meds. I've realized that my struggle has come to an end and it is time to move to a better life. You must become a survivor. Come to the realization that no one can make you feel upset unless you allow them to. Get therapy. Also surrender yourself to God. Try to learn how to become more positive in the way you can cope. For depression coping method is being grateful for anything and everything. For anger coping is false expectations for that is the only reason someone gets upset. For self esteem coping method is haircut and shave or for the ladies make over or manicure and a new outfit including shoes. For anxiety coping method is focusing on your breathing which dictates the pace mind. Thought process if you will. And use it in a form of studying something that interests you. Also set objectives in a check list both small or complex and begin accomplishing them. Once you get a taste of sense of accomplishment. You will begin to chase it for it will help you become motivated. Start small and work your way up to complex. And for fear coping method is surrender yourself completely to a higher power. For negativity coping method is as this “if you surround yourself with positive intelligent people. Good things will happen”. Further most you must introduce discipline in different forms. After the first form, the next will become much easier. I Hope this helps. This blog is meant to show people that there can be happy endings to a terrible beginning. If my life can inspire despite my disadvantages of diplomatic status and multiple traumas with my wife of 18 years by my side. Then my purpose in this Earth has been fulfilled. The book of Job in real life. So of course all Glory goes to God in the name of Jesus Christ for giving me the strength and guidance for triumphing over all the obstacles my trauma has caused over the years in order to remain Vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the strive for Progress for all who have no ill will towards anyone. For we are the ones who struggle and suffer the most yet we are the ones who become the strongest. AMEN. I quote from the bible “ Did I not tell you to have courage?Did I not tell you to have strength? Did I not tell you to do the moral right thing?” It's in that order for a reason. Courage will lead to Strength which leads to the right moral standpoint. Despite your lack of understanding. If you are a good person at heart with a good conscious then you will be alright. No matter what trauma you have suffered. Remember MIND over BODY, SOUL over MIND, HEART OVER ALL! If you are weak at heart this cold world will surely corrupt you. Love will always shed any disbelief.
Trauma Clouds Judgement, Perception, and ability to ask for Help.
Definition Of Intrusive?
Today is May 4th and it 3:38p.m. Its a very intrusive day. That is my current perception my trauma still clouds my judgement. Constantly being questioned, PERIOD caused me to become incredibly irritable. Worse part is, my wife gets the worst of it because of her being used as a way of relaying information between myself and others. Actually compromising her progress. Allot trauma clouding her judgement as well. The fact that she doesn't have any realization There in lies the dilema. She never asks herself why? Someone or something always in the way halting progress in the name of vanity. That is true. In the name of vanity. I never realized that I perceive intrusion in different forms or manor. I tend to perceive intrusion in an unconventional manor. I tend to put it under a microscope , magnify X100, and focus, focus, focus. Never realized I did that. So how do cease with this behavior. That is just how much my trauma still clouds my judgement. Whether I realize it or not at the time. I believe ones sub conscience is thier right, sound mind trapped beneath layers of trauma trying to break threw. My subconscious is different. It picks up everything, even if I don't catch it at the time. I have the gift of connecting memory recall with emotion. Didn't even realize that existed until I watched a video about Jim Quick, the guy with the broken brain. Ive been doing it my whole life never realizing it. All the Bravos side of my family are all intelligent. My aunt is a teacher. Cousin graduated from Santa Barbera, Cousin Ruben from University of Guadalajara, Cousin Joel is a Software engineer, cousin Eric is an a business man, and Marcela I believe went to College. So it runs in my blood. The Castillo side is where the mental illness originated from. My Grandfather was an alcoholic who was known to cheat on my grandma. He moved in with his girlfriend a month after she passed away from breast cancer. R.I.P “Ines Bravo”. She was my first role modal. Ever! My Grandmother was very stern, and was very strong in character. No flaws in character. She was the first to come to my aid. The first one I was able to run if I felt I needed protection. Even from my mother and step father. My grandma used to strike my mother when I was being abused in any manor. Very honorable woman. Only thing is I can't seem to remember ever seeing her smile. Anyways back to grandpa, On his way home from the bar he used to claim that he would see types of farm animals with fire coming out thier nose and glowing red eyes. I believe that is where it transfered to my mother. Which then transferred to all of us. Me, my sister, my brother despite having different fathers. That is what I am piecing together my family tree. For genetic genome purposes in my new theory of evolution. Now my reason for despising Intrusion was unknown to me until recent epiphany. Now this is my definition of my perception of the meaning of intrusion. Treason, Espionage, Betrayal, Untrust worthy, Violation, Trespassing, Conspiring, Being Deceitful, Manipulation. Collection of information for future benefit of a hidden agenda, Stealing someones most private thoughts. That is just how much my trauma still clouds my judgement. This is a new twist in what is the labyrinth that is my life and mind Always something new to which catches me off guard. I have now learned I must focus on what I know to be true. MIND over BODY, SOUL over MIND, HEART OVER ALL! THE RAIN FALLS ON THE JUST AND UNJUST ALIKE. Its who you are and what you decide to harness that sets you apart. Cause and Effect. Reaction to actions. Perfect example. The reaction to Jesus Christ, Book of Job, and San Benito the Hermit saint, all thier actions are still influencing me to this day. That's how powerful they're actions were. And that's how powerful my actions must be. Always in the name of Others that have no ill will towards anyone for they suffer the most in this world. Because they are prayed upon by tyrants. No one does the moral right thing these days. Society Conventional standards is different from civilization. Civilized mentality doesn't fit in society. Because in society someone is always pulling the strings. Yet in civilization everyone must be civil in a civilized state of mind. Thinking of each others interests and not our own. Well this is another look into my mind, psyche, soul, life, and experiences. So now I give thanks to God in the name of Jesus Christ for giving me the courage for triumphing over any obstacle the mud dragger has set forth in my path today in Order to remain Vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the strive for Progress for all who have no ill will towards anyone for they are the ones who suffer the most in this life. AMEN. In the everyday battle. In the ultimate war of living a fully successful life. For that is exactly how it is for those who's mind has been labeled “ill”. Anyone who's mind is labeled ill is nothing more then someone who's suffered so much that it activated their self defence mechanism. Think of that next time you see someone speaking to someone who seems they haven't groomed and is speaking to someone who is not there. For they have suffered more then you in this world.
Insight Into Mental Illness
Order above Chaos
My Wifes 18th Anniversary
Today is May 5th 2021 and it is 6:10 p.m. It is a very bright, calm, warm day. A day that inspires optimism in form of a boost of moral and unforseen blessing. I Bought my wife her first diamond engagement ring. Only half a ct genuine diamond. It might not be luxurious, but it will still endure for many life times. I have always wanted to do right by my wife. Yet because of my lack in residency, ID, and no fathers name on my birth certificate, which caused it to be rejected in every court house from Hayward, Oakland, even Reno. I have never been able to marry her officially and make her my wife. Yet i felt it was the least I can do since I owe her my life. I gave her the ring on May 5th at 12:06 a.m. I was too excided to wait until sun up. So I felt as conventional standards for quality of living. A house should be the next step. Well Ya Weh blessed me in the form of a email from a Dairy Farm I tried out few years ago. About for or five months ago I thought I should reach out. Figured it wouldn't hurt trying. Well, I got the job today, and to top it off it comes with a house. All is well in the universe. So now I give God thanks for giving my wife and I the strength to triump over most if not all the obstacles that the UnWorthy One has set forth in our path in order to remain vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the strive for progress for all who have no ill will towards anyone. For they the ones who suffer the most in this world. So now in the Labyrinth that is my wife and I Minds, Souls, and Lives seems to be coming towards the first of chapter in the happily ever after portion of our journey in this plain of existences we perceive as life on Earth. So now I am finally gaining ground in the everyday battle in my mind. In the war of living a fully successful life.The tide has turned Chaos is fleeing the battlefield. Order is now charging forward. And how do you bring Order to a chaotic mind you ask? Only in the form of discipline. So focused discipline only threw balance equals progress. Any fine tuned mechanism must have proper balance. Equilibrium is key. Whether it is a combustion engine, turbine or the human condition. None would last without stability in the form of balance and consistency. So remember the rain falls on the just, and unjust alike. And when it rains, it pours. It's who you are, and what you decide to harness that sets you apart. So it is key. MIND over BODY, SOUL over MIND, and most importantly. HEART OVER ALL. Let me tell you why. MIND over BODY represents my illness's power over my body. SOUL over MIND represents my connection with God. And HEART over all means never forget who you are because this world will easily corrupt if are weak at heart. Yet it is impossible to make this journey called life alone. For every King needs a Queen. So remember the Queen is the strongest piece on the chess board. So as long as you surround yourself with positive intelligent people. Good things will happen. So you must always you offer your loved ones a seat next to you at the dinner table. If so, all will always fall into place. God Bless to all, and to all a good night. For today I witnessed a miracle.
By CBC
Insight into mental illness “Rage”
Today is Saturday May 1st, 2021. It is 5:18 a.m and It feels like a warm night with plenty of humidity in the air. Enough to know we are in for a very warm weekend. I haven't slept all night. I lay here next to my wife in the dark. Careful not to awaken her for that always causes her anxiety. Anytime I lose sleep over something she becomes very afraid. Not for her own well being, for I will never do anything to harm her, but for everyone else's well being. She is right to protect her loved ones from me when I shift into what I have learned to call my righteous state of mind. In that mindset I perceive those who have not accepted Christ into their lives as Heathens. I perceive humans to be Godless creatures, and feel the impulse to protect all innocence from negative energy. Only way to transfer negative energy is in the form of abuse. Regardless of the type. Whether it's in the form of neglect, verbal, emotional, physical, psychological, or sexual abuse. All are considered an abomination to God. I now realize that I had a rage fueled psychotic episode a few weeks back. Which caused me to dwell on events and occurrences that have long since passed. Ended up arguing with law enforcement for about 3 hours which lead to my hospitalization and readmitted into crisis mental health. Non voluntary stay. 3rd time I've been declared 5150. I've been diagnosed Schitzo- effective with psychotic features. I have been re-accepted into my in laws family again yet I have trouble letting go of the past for it causes me distress. Also causes me to have the inability to let them in and trust them again. Not for me, but for the emotional and psychological trauma it has cause my loving wife over the years. Her family's inability to comprehend my mental illness caused them to fear me. Therefore as predictable human behavior dictates, what is misunderstood is feared, and by typical human response in it's usual attempts to either manipulate and control or if all fails, eradicate. Usually by then a committee is formed in order to construct a method of doing so in a manor disguised as good intentions or concern. Yet the concern was never for me. It was only for my wife. Yet despite all attempts to cause my wife to falter and leave my side has only brought us closer together. My love for my wife of 18 years + triumphs over all. Her love has empowered me more then anything in this world. So I take time now to reflect in a positive manner. That is the struggle of a mind labled “ill”. You either dwell or reflect. One negative and one positive. As long as I still have love in my heart. Everything will be alright. So now I give thanks to God for giving me the strength to triumph over any obstacle the unworthy one, dirt eater, mud dragger, scum has set forth in my path today in order to remain vigilant on the road of righteousness in the strive for progress for all. Yet choose your circle wisley, for there will always be a Judas. For that is a curse instilled on this Earth. There is always someone or something halting progress in the name of profit. Gods gift to this Earth is cause and effect. Example: The reaction to Jesus Christ's actions still continues until this day. That is how powerful Jesus Christ's actions were. We should all reflect, never dwell. We must focus on the good times and not the bad otherwise it will drive you mad. Believe me. I speak of experience. Forgiveness is key to a happy life. Yet you can't truly be happy if you are content. This is a look into my mind, psyche, and soul. MIND over body, SOUL over mind, HEART OVER ALL.
By: CBC
The law is unjust! Intrusion
Saturday April 17 2021 10:45 a.m
I believe law enforcement has been intruding on my wife and I's privacy. If you protect a snitch and aid a snitch then you are an abomination to God. Since Hayward! Austin St. It's caused my mental well being to be compromised! I felt it all along! Been continually harassed by law enforcement since. That's why I cut the cable cord. Just to mark the day my wife and I left that terrible apartment. Just check the cable bill for maintenance. Since then, my wife and I have been strip searched. Car damn near taken apart. Constantly being taken into custody on regards of no I D. Asked by law enforcement for my social like 20 times. Only to be held for a warrant for a charge that wasn't even mine, due to a scum bag. Which I took honorably. Every car constantly impounded causing a financial deficit! My wife has a learning disability. That's why she can't pass the DMV test! She fell in 3rd grade and was unconscious until her auntie picked her up from elementary. Her brain must of swelled because Hoover elementary school noticed and began taking her out of class. First once a every week. Then bi weekly. Then once a month until the school year ended. That school must have noticed her academics falter after she slipped and fell. That school should be held accountable! Those are my values. That is why cowards go to hell. They will throw anyone under the bus to save themselves! Weakness! Now I have been conspired on by my peers. All in attempts to separate my wife and I. Attempts of Cowards. All because I'm feared by all around me for my mental Illness. Then cowards call a phone number, and use my illness against me! Cowardice is only a phone number away! I'm Schitzo Effective. There should be a record of it! Well after all these years they have finally done it. She will do anything for her family. Even lose me. She knows I did everything in her best interest. And because I loved her! I know she will love me more for it! Then she can received the message from God and she will make the change. Only when your Heart is broken, Can you receive the message. That will be enough to change! I need to find a Heart with no fear! For that is weakness! Just have to find sanctuary as well. My will is strong. Holy Father Above All. Loyalty is true power yet it is rare and hard to find! This (🧀)