CBC

“False expectations”

Today is October 28th 2021 and it's 4:01 a.m. This has been a very upsetting and tragic time. The thing I fretted of losing this supposed “dream” job and beautiful home has become a reality. I feel torn from my wife. I have been terminated because of my mental illness. Only a month after returning from a broken ankle I suffered at work. I have been having problems with my wife because a co worker has been coming over my home and contently informing her of my conflicts with management. As well as complaints on certain aspects of work due to my voicing my opinion having to familiarize myself with the cows being milked since I've just recuperated and freshly back from a broken ankle I suffered at work. She would then argue with me telling me to stop standing up for myself and just stay quite. To which I responded negatively. Well we are now considering separating after 18 years. The lack of therapy for both of us and the depression for her being alone while I'm at work since it's 6 days a week split shift meaning I could dedicate 36 hours a week aside from my day off which I pretty much slept through. That has directly caused us to slowly unravelled the foundation that couples therapy had built over past year. It's been very difficult to find a therapist here in Marin county. The fact that we are separating caused me to suffer from severe depression to which I had a depressive psychotic episode in which I missed my last shift at the end of my work week. I went to the clinic the following day. So unfortunately I missed 1 shift. Well the next day which happen to be my day off after returning from the clinic the the owner pulled up after me and she handed me an envelope to which contained a check for $56.00 since my wages were garnished for owned taxes to the government. $600+ to be exact. My whole last check. I did not fully comprehend what was going on. Then about an hour later I received a text from the owners husband telling me “ you no longer work here, please make arrangements for the housing provided will be needed for replacement employee. I couldn't believe it. According to the fair housing and disabilities act there are supposed to be accommodations made for I am legally declared severely disabled by the state of California. I guess I don't get such luxuries due to my lack in legal residency. The thing is my mother never register me at birth there for I don't exist in the governments eyes. Not even a Mexican citizen. To make things worse they have made it clear I'm not wanted nor welcome since they followed me up the hill with their high beams on me and followed me all the way to my home and remained parked in front. I had to close the blinds so my wife would not notice. Didn't move for 10 minutes. Now they want my wife and I to go back to living in our vehicle since we have until the end of October to be out of this home. Mind you I was terminated on the 8th of this month. Why is there always unwarranted misplaced animosity towards me where ever I go. My deeds which are pure intentions are always repaid in a negative manor. So I have interviews and possible employment here in point reyes station CA. Yet it almost seems as if my ex employers are trying to make it so that we have no choice but to leave town. There have been employees who have been terminated yet allowed to remain in the homes so long as rent is paid. Why can't I do the same? I have funding to cover 2 months of rent. Yet they won't accept it. I am truly being treated unfairly and my poor wife has to endure it by my side. SMH. I will not stand for it. I will stand my ground and I will not falter. I guess misery found a way to take away from me what I feared the most. My wife. My 3 curses in life. #1Family, #2Truth, and #3Equality. I've never known how those 3 feel for I have no kin nor heritage nor even know the name of my biological father. So now I bow my head and pray and ask God in the name of Jesus Christ to give us the strength to triumph over this nightmare set forth in front of us in order to remain vigilant on the road to righteousness in the strive for progress for all those who have no ill will towards anyone, for we are the ones who suffer the most in the world yet, we are the ones who can and will become the strongest through a righteous cause if God sees fit in the everyday battle in ones mind, and ones life, in the war of living a fully successful life. For if you are weak at heart this world will surely corrupt you. And to those that do have ill will towards others, please Lord help them change they're ways in order for they're salvation to become possible through redemption through the sacrifice your son Jesus Christ gave his life for, as I learn to forgive those who sin against my wife and I, just as we are forgiven for our sins by our Holy Father. In your name we pray for ever and ever, Amen. We will rise for I don't have it in me to quit. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over All.

“False expectations”

Today is October 28th 2021 and it's 4:01 a.m. This has been a very upsetting and tragic time. The thing I fretted of losing this dream job and home has been torn from my wife and I. I have been terminated because of my mental illness. Only a month after returning from a broken ankle I suffered at work. I have been having problems with my wife because a co worker has been coming over my home and contently informing her of my conflicts with management. As well as complaints on certain aspects of work due to my voicing my opinion having to familiarize myself with the cows being milked since I've just recuperated and freshly back from a broken ankle I suffered at work. She would then argue with me telling me to stop standing up for myself and just stay quite. To which I responded negatively. Well we are now considering separating after 18 years. The lack of therapy for both of us and the depression for her being alone while I'm at work since it's 6 days a week spilt shift meaning I could dedicate 36 hours a week aside from my day off which I pretty much slept through. That has directly caused us to slowly unravelled the foundation that couples therapy had built over past year. It's been very difficult to find a therapist here in Marin county. The fact that we are separating caused me to suffer from severe depression to which I had a depressive psychotic episode in which I missed my last shift at the end of my work week. I went to the clinic the following day. So unfortunately I missed 1 shift. Well the next day which happen to be my day off after returning from the clinic the the owner pulled up after me and she handed me an envelope to which contained a check for $56.00 since my wages were garnished for owned taxes to the government. $600+ to be exact. My whole last check. I did not fully comprehend what was going on. Then about an hour later I received a text from the owners husband telling me “ you no longer work here, please make arrangements for the housing provided will be needed for replacement employee. I couldn't believe it. According to the fair housing and disabilities act there are supposed to be accommodations made for I am legally declared severely disabled by the state of California. I guess I don't get such luxuries due to my lack in legal residency. The thing is my mother never register me at birth there for I don't exist in the governments eyes. Not even a Mexican citizen. To make things worse they have made it clear I'm not wanted nor welcome since they followed me up the hill with their high beams on me and followed me all the way to my home and remained parked in front. I had to close the blinds so my wife would not notice. Didn't move for 10 minutes. Now they want my wife and I to go back to living in our vehicle since we have until the end of October to be out of this home. Mind you I was terminated on the 8th of this month. Why is there always unwarranted misplaced animosity towards me where ever I go. My deeds which are pure intentions are always repaid in a negative manor. So I have interviews and possible employment here in point reyes station CA. Yet it almost seems as if my ex employers are trying to make it so that we have no choice but to leave town. There have been employees who have been terminated yet allowed to remain in the homes so long as rent is paid. Why can't I do the same. I have funding to cover 2 months of rent. Yet they won't accept it. I am truly being treated unfairly and my poor wife has to endure it by my side. SMH. I will not stand for it. I will stand my ground and I will not fault er. I guess misery found a way to take away from me what I feared the most. My wife. My 3 cursed in life. Family, Truth, and Equality. I've never known how those 3 feel for I have no kin nor heritage nor the name of my biological father. So now I bow my head and pray and ask God in the name of Jesus Christ to give us the strength to triumph over this nightmare set forth in front of us in order to remain vigilant on the road to righteousness in the strive for progress for all those who have no ill will towards anyone for we are the ones who suffer the most in the world yet, we are the ones who can and will become the strongest through a righteous cause if God sees fit in the everyday battle in ones mind and ones life in the war of living a fully successful life. For if you are weak at heart this world will surely corrupt you. And to those that do have ill will towards others, please Lord help them change they're ways in order for they're salvation be possible through redemption for the sacrifice your son Jesus Christ gave his life for, as I learn to forgive those who sin against my wife and I, just as we are forgivin for our sins by our Holy Father. In your name we pray for ever and ever, Amen. We will rise for I don't have it in me to quit. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over All.

Today I my wife and I gave to those who suffer the loss or struggle with Cancer. In honor of my Grandmother Inez Bravo and my wife's uncle Julio Navarro. Rest in peace.

https://kapwi.ng/c/bqZEoz7E

Halting Progress

Today is July 20th and it's 9:22 p.m. It's been a hard couple weeks and I've damn near stretched myself beyond my means. Work started great yet a curve ball came out of no where as per usual. In the form of a sudden schedule change. Normally I was given Fridays off but then suddenly it was switched to wednesday. It was switched due to another employee that requested Friday Saturday and Sunday off. So I took Wednesday off and work split shift all through until the following Friday. Only problem is work week went from six days to eight days. Either from Thursday July 1st everyday until Friday July 9th. Then the following work week went from a six day work week to a seven day work week. From Saturday July 10th until July 16th. So my only days of were on Wednesday June 30th, Friday July 9th, and Saturday July 17th. Only 3 days of rest and 20 work days. Then I requested a wrong day due to lack of rest and physical exhaustion. After a week like that the days become indistinguishable and become a blur. 1 day in between is not enough, or so it feels like. Anyone who has worked split shift knows that after the fifth or sixed day you become dependant on muscle memory because you miss little details that a well rested fresh employee normally wouldn't. This being my first month and not having a full knowledge on procedures on this dairy farm for it's my first organic free range farm. Of coarse tragedy happened when the grain stopped functioning for the whole month of July Yet I was held responsible for something I couldn't have possibly known due to lack of management. I seriously tried to ask for assistance yet none came in time. Since then things worse. For example machinery and equipment failing. Constant struggle with rebellious aggressive cows that are not happy if there is no grain. For will not walk nor respond without it. And I strictly don't hit the cows PERIOD. It's very frustrating. Very overwhelming and physically taxing. Lack of sleep due to the stress as well the concern of losing this lovely home caused me to lose sleep and depend on caffeine and energy drinks. I try to get flow of things as quick as possible. I'm starting to wonder if employees focus on my personality attributes instead of my accomplishments. I am currently diagnosed bipolar schitzo effective and have been labeled severely disabled by the state of California. Although management has not been kind to my situation. So lack of rest and understanding has left me in a state of high alert which causes me to become as aware of my surroundings. PTSD from the realization of a repressed memory of being sexually abused at the age of five. Not only that but I've noticed a lot of strange behavior towards me as of late. I like to speak to the cows while I milk and I've caught my co workers having their kid translate what I'm saying since the do not understand English to well. Talk about instilling a narcissistic mind set. So I finally somewhat snapped. I informed management of the situation of my lack management within the employees because there is no reception so cell service is limited. I suggested walkie talkies which fell on deaf ears. All since I've informed all management of my mental illness yet no accommodations were made. Everything that could go, has gone wrong only worsening my mood and situation. Very unfair. Well today things seemed to have an upside. I'm sure now that a single employee is behind it all. Due to the fact that said employee has been asking peculiar questions, mostly about narcotics that completely irrelevant to our current conversation. I also feel as if it is all due to this beautiful home that we have been blessed with. As if I am undeserving when in reality I work my ass of to maintain. So this short but sweet and straight to the point paragraph is just in hopes ease my mind to rest in the form of expressing myself in a non combative way. Hope all goes well and again thank you God in the name the name of Jesus Christ for continuing to give me strength to triumph over any obstacle the UnWorthy One has set forth in my wife's and I path in order to remain vigilant on the road to Righteousness in strive for progress for those who have no ill will towards anyone, for we are the ones who suffer the most in this world yet we can and will become the strongest through a righteous cause if God see's fit. Mind over body, Soul over Mind, Heart over all.

CBC (🧀)

This donation to Milagro foundation is in Honor Of My Grandma Inez Bravo. The first person in my life that I could run to if I ever needed saving or protection. Used to defend me from anyone. Especially my mother. God Bless you Grandma. My first role model. Stern Gangster ass Lady.

https://kapwi.ng/c/5yhZuVJQ

This is a picture of her throwing me a birthday party when the whole manipulative illusion of a caring mother was being put on display for the camera. Before I realized what tormented me my whole life.

https://kapwi.ng/c/JdjNzyiR

I am now revealing the true nature of my mothers lack of empathy. For a son she never wanted which caused her to be neglectful in ways a true mother would never allow.

This a video of my mothers and I conversation on messenger the day I remembered my repressed memory and went to the ER because the memory was so traumatizing to me that I literally went into shock.

https://kapwi.ng/c/OUI23yT8

https://www.quora.com/profile/Ricky-Bobby-640?ch=10&share=f5124f5c&srid=uAg8st

( I was looking over my Quora page and can't get access to it. Might be compromised. Reason being. I noticed something labeled baby bumpers something or other. “Unworthy worshipers have way too much the on their hands. PATHETIC!”)

Insight Into Mental Illness

Today is June 6th and it is 7:29 p.m and it is a beautiful sunny day. There is a drought were I now reside in my new place of residence. This is by far the most beautiful peaceful house I have ever had the pleasure of living in. My wife loves it. To top it off we are surrounded by the most gorgeous scenery. Best way of describing it is heaven on Earth. I get to do what I enjoy which is milking cows on a %100 organic free range dairy farm. They are very kind and humane to the cows here. Out of all the dairy farms I've ever worked on this is by far the best I have ever seen. I have truly been blessed by God. So now I thank God in the name of Jesus Christ for giving my wife and I the strength to triumph over any obstacle the unworthy, mud dragger has set forth in our path our whole lives in order to remain Vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the Strive for progress for all that have no ill will towards anyone. For we are the ones who suffer the most in this world yet we are the ones who become the strongest.AMEN. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart Over All.

By: CBC

Insight into Mental Illness

Today is Tuesday the 25th and it's 3:51 a.m. It was a positive day now that all is well in the universe. I'm excited and optimistic. I found a true form of forgiveness. Without the meds. I've realized that my struggle has come to an end and it is time to move to a better life. You must become a survivor. Come to the realization that no one can make you feel upset unless you allow them to. Get therapy. Also surrender yourself to God. Try to learn how to become more positive in the way you can cope. For depression coping method is being grateful for anything and everything. For anger coping is false expectations for that is the only reason someone gets upset. For self esteem coping method is haircut and shave or for the ladies make over or manicure and a new outfit including shoes. For anxiety coping method is focusing on your breathing which dictates the pace mind. Thought process if you will. And use it in a form of studying something that interests you. Also set objectives in a check list both small or complex and begin accomplishing them. Once you get a taste of sense of accomplishment. You will begin to chase it for it will help you become motivated. Start small and work your way up to complex. And for fear coping method is surrender yourself completely to a higher power. For negativity coping method is as this “if you surround yourself with positive intelligent people. Good things will happen”. Further most you must introduce discipline in different forms. After the first form, the next will become much easier. I Hope this helps. This blog is meant to show people that there can be happy endings to a terrible beginning. If my life can inspire despite my disadvantages of diplomatic status and multiple traumas with my wife of 18 years by my side. Then my purpose in this Earth has been fulfilled. The book of Job in real life. So of course all Glory goes to God in the name of Jesus Christ for giving me the strength and guidance for triumphing over all the obstacles my trauma has caused over the years in order to remain Vigilant on the road to Righteousness in the strive for Progress for all who have no ill will towards anyone. For we are the ones who struggle and suffer the most yet we are the ones who become the strongest. AMEN. I quote from the bible “ Did I not tell you to have courage?Did I not tell you to have strength? Did I not tell you to do the moral right thing?” It's in that order for a reason. Courage will lead to Strength which leads to the right moral standpoint. Despite your lack of understanding. If you are a good person at heart with a good conscious then you will be alright. No matter what trauma you have suffered. Remember MIND over BODY, SOUL over MIND, HEART OVER ALL! If you are weak at heart this cold world will surely corrupt you. Love will always shed any disbelief.