CBC — Write.as

I disagree with the dismissal of my case 202208-17865210 Castillo/ Bianchini Inc. D.B.A Bivalve Dairy. The reason being that I just sent the evidence that I was informed was the reason for dismissal due to insufficient Evidence. I have sent a link of a video of a screen recording of text transcripts between Karen Taylor and myself so as to be sure I did everything necessary to earn justice. I sent the link to, ( appeals@calcivilrights.ca.gov) from my email of ProgressIsGod@ProtonMail.com. As well as two pictures. 1) First one is of my doctors diagnosis of Schizoafective and Bipolar Disorder on 10/08/2021 stating the I was pending psychiatry consultation in an upcoming visit on 10/12/2021. 2) Second piece of evidence is a document titled “ Housing Term Agreement” handed to my by Karen Taylor as soon I arrived on 10/08/2021.

August 14, 2023

Point of no return.

Today is Wednesday April 12 and it's 8:06 a.m seems like a busy day because I have my 2nd appointment with my new therapist at 1:45. I am trying to figure out how to express to my therapist I have come to life changing realizations. I have been waiting for my opportunity to react to my Biological mothers actions. I truly believe that so long as I always react to people's actions, I will always remain in All Mighty favor. Pretty much stand my ground and wait for misplaced animosity to approach me. So finally my mother had posted her describing herself as she wanted her peers to perceive her. This is what my mother said, and I quote.

(Spanish) “Chela, eres una de las personas más geniales del universo y tienes un corazón de oro. Eres el tipo de persona que siempre estaría lista para mover montañas y llenar el océano sólo con el fin de mantener a sus seres queridos seguros y felices. Definitivamente no eres una mentirosa y nunca dices palabras falacias porque preferirías ser brutalmente honesta que un traidor. Aquellos que son amados por Chela son los más afortunados, pero no les quedará amor si se atreven a abusar de la confianza de Chela. Seguramente perderán a Chela para siempre.

(English translation) “Chela, you are one of the coolest people in the universe and you have a heart of gold. You are the type of person who would always be ready to move mountains and fill the ocean just in order to keep your loved ones safe and happy. You are definitely not a liar and you never say fallacious words because you would rather be brutally honest than a backstabber. Those who are loved by Chela are the luckiest, but they will have no love left if they dare to abuse Chela's trust. They will surely lose Chela forever.” After seeing my mother's post about describing herself I went ahead and copied her post along with the screen recording of the conversation we had through messenger when I was explaining to her about my repressed memory of being sexually abused as a child when I was 5 and and told her that it happened again when I was 9 by the front neighbor when we lived at 484 B St CA. To which she responded to stop bothering my sister while she is studying. It turns out my mother knew all along and decided to do absolutely nothing about it.

Not only did I post it on my wife's Facebook and Instagram on public. I also sent all my blood relatives whom I've recently made contact with behind my mother's back as well as all my first cousins and Aunt's. All in order to expose want kind of person she truly is. Yet I now realize I was conceived in an ill manor for she was a victim of sexual assault as well for that is hot I was conceived. Understanding the psychology behind it caused me to finally forgive her. The evidence speaks for itself.

February 2, 2023

Updated poem/ Lyrics

Not giving a fuck, getting stuck off the skunk, I don't give a fuck.l, I'll throw Satan in the trunk. Cuz the devil ain't shit. Nothing but a lil bitch. Slap him in the face make him run to his mommies tit. I'm about to throw a fit. Cuz life ain't fair, but I still like to share, cuz I'm a NORTHERN CALI BEAR. Trying to do the right thing always seems to be wrong. I'm tired of this broken record that's why I'm changing this song while I reaching for my bong. All I know is since accepting CHRIST. I died weak and the GOD resurrected me strong. I try to stay positive but it makes me feel uncomfortable, when surrounded by those who never really SHARED in the struggle. All they care about is their hustle, being “all about their money”. People like that are hella funny, so I laugh at them for being dummies. So society will call me menace, if they haven't already. But I ain't tripping I'm always ready. Suited and booted. A psychopath for Christ, connecting me to God. Doing the best with with I have so I don't ever get caught. All my life, I've always fought with my my own fatal thoughts. Wish one day they might finally stop. But Christ legally adopted me, never realizing I've always had my Pops. I'm not embarrassed to let my tears drop. Each one representing loved ones that I lost. So I'm here to put the HOOD on the map, R.I.P OSCAR GRANT. Representing PALMA CEIA PARK, WEST SIDE HAYWARD LIKE WHAAAT. That's the heart of the Bay. Growing up never knowing which way I would end my day. “Left on my own at 16 being told, we are moving. You can't go and you can't stay”. I didn't know what the fuck to say. But Now that I'm grown I've realized why legal guardians are so afraid. Of me , from the P.C Eventually that debt owed to me will have to get paid but to God not me. So I'll just stay out the way. For the goal after this life is meeting Yaw-Weh. So I'm always relaxing, always steady packing. Punk get out of line, and you know he'll get smacking. I'm trying to catch up so I don't get caught laggin. You can always hear me laughin, while the joint I'm always passin. For I'll always rebel against those who impose, always trying to pose for their selfie. Looking like a bunch of hoes. I tend to stay away from those. Cuz now and day's, Most can't hang with that I bang on mud dragging, Demons through Christ. I look to compromise in life. It's all about rolling the dice. Nothing in life is nice, without sacrifice. I don't even like pie but I still need a slice. Only true soldier I know was my wife. Piece of mind remembering how she fought by my side. Eventually that anguish will subside. For I can't afford her happiness. The price is too high. So I have make sure she finds someone who can provide that price, her being the prize. No hard feeling, no hurt pride. But if anyone hurts her, it's a missing persons report, I put that on my life. Just look into my eyes and you'll see I'm not lying. As I howl at the moon feeling like a great lion. For all that bull shit you selling, I ain't even buying. No one will tell truth if have something to lose. Always lying until facing death. They always start crying. Seeing the pain in they're face. When life escapes they're eyes. So I just close mine as to not witness demise. That will corrupt any mind. If you don't believe me look at mine, which was lost but now found putting lyrics to this this beast. Getting ready to fucking pounce. Yelling fuck them lies, let them drop like flies. Cuz I'm down for mines, and I'm down to ride, throwing up the West Side, representing Brown Pride. Which I learned Growing up watching OG's. Weighing pounds to Grams. But I've changed my ways because that's not real me. Just another version created by the neglect and prejudice of society. They wouldn't understand what resides from within me. Which will resurface once you threaten me. Only then they'll call that number trying to eradicate good ol CheEZe! Is this my fault! For I was just a baby no one really cared for. Now I've been declared 5150 X4. Arguing for 3 hours during a stand off with authorities. I am labeled an illegal, so the law apply's to me. So I live my life outside of it. The choice wasn't made by me. Because Confinement and oppression will always be met with rebellion and aggression. That will shock and awe leaving a long lasting impression. Death, Carnage, and Chaos long forgotten. Only reminiscent of my confession. Left with scars and pain which over time will heal and pain will lessen. Yet the memory of this cold world will become a life long teaching lesson! Cuz suffering from anguish, first thing you want to do in the morning is blaze up a session. But in reality we should all be thankful for everyday with Christ is a blessing. Yet people I tend to put in thier place, never learn their lesson. Looking at my adversary like a match of chessin then I strike them down with no sound and no one around and if you push my hand I'll have no choice but to put you underground. . While your wife and kids look for you all around town. All a waste cuz youll never to be found. Nothing left but an un-marked mound. Seems like nothings gonna change. Every time I see my wife in pain, it drives me insane. Then I'll grab my 38. And unleash the pain. For she will always be my weakness, for her I'll embrace the darkness. Seems like nothings gonna change. Every time I see my wife in pain, it drives me insane. Then I'll grab my 38. And unleash the pain. When I activate my hate, I'm surrounded by my darkness! everything is pain less, everyone is nameless, everyone is faceless, surrounded everyone who are strangers. No one is safe! May we all rest in peace. By CBC

MIND OVER BODY, SOUL OVER MIND, HEART OVER ALL. COURAGE IS KEY 🗝️. TO THE KINGDOM FOR ALL. HOLY FATHER ABOVE ALL.

January 19, 2023

This message was sent to my wife when she needed to hear it the most from her role model she looks up to STEVE HARVEY

“God bless you child of God you are welcome to the new year, Favor and more Grace will locate you this year child of God you are highly favored and up-lifted . I don't know you in person but God does you and as i was meditating the holy spirit led me through your profile and ministered a vision to me around you, I see blessings for God and also more spiritual attacks, the enemies are working on holding your favor from God and they want to make sure that you amount to nothing. The Lord said you should sow a seed of faith to Joshua Brai Motherless Home Foundation before the end of 2 days to attract divine and spiritual breakthrough in your life end that f your family ad loved ones because there is a power of sowing ( Deu-28:15).+2347026613413 “

Thank you for your kind words at the perfect moment when we were going through our worst. God Bless You.

November 15, 2022

Natural order of life VS. Artificial

Nations for those who have no nation.

Today is Monday November 14 and it's 7:27 p.m. and I am some disgusted in the way I perceive the world in the current mindset. Iv'e endured what most don't occurs on a scale that I know for a fact occurs everywhere. Where human beings life are stolen more then they themselves could possibly realize Since that's all they've ever known. I am the result of not enslaving myself in the form of registration. Reason being my bio mom never registered me at birth and the damage has been detrimental to my reaching my max potential before my departure of this plain of existence we perceive as life on planet Earth. I now realize it's necessary for only through program energy with multiple polarity and behavior traits. Life is no different then what we observe all around us. Photosynthesis for example turns CO-2 to O-2, Soil filters out toxins from the rain water so as to not bring harm when consumed. Magnetosphere filters out harmful radiation on letting in UV light that feeds life to our plant. Human life is no different. Only through anything sinister in nature can not help but to cause misery where they may go. There for revealing themselves for what they truly are filtering out those unworthy of reaching the next form. Evolving said energy. Through anguish comes clarity for under great moments of stress do you perfect your technique and come to life changing realizations. Physics is undeniable law. Gods law if you will. Why would we not expect for those to dictate within this atmosphere. Cause and effect, reaction for action, repercussions for actions, karma as some call it. Combustion, sound, O-2, Life as we know it. Through my anguish Iv'e came to the realization that changed my life. The reaction of Christ Yeshua actions are still continuing until this day. That's how powerful my adoptive fathers actions are and that's how powerful our actions must be as well. Truly unstoppable. If I'm not mistaken, “ isn't that the definition of eternal existence. Cause and effect. Physics aka Gods law. Yet where ever you instill order chaos is always surly to follow. As the history of this world has proven to be true. Time and time again. There are always those who will halt progress in the name of profit. It's a curse bound to humanity for how Judas betrayed Santificado Cristo for pieces of silver which in the end will ultimately cause humanity downfall. Unless we come to the epiphany of the on going eternal war of Natural order of life Vs. Artificial. Civilization Vs. Society. To be civilized as in civil. Is treat each universal love. Honor one another with respect and courtesy. By my definition we are advance human being. Advance human beings we worry about each others problems thus abolishing chaotic ideals like racism, superiority complex, poverty. Society is a system designed pull the strings forcing most people to further others agenda instead their own. Society disguised vanity in form of profit for a good quarterly for a proper portfolio with limited over head for a successful business to gain a strong reputation to which you can become with your word alone. It's all about moving money. Convincing us that it's the only to support our families. In reality the first time the Pyramid with the all seeing eye on top came into circulation was after Lincoln Sacrificed himself to eradicate slavery. With the Vice President on the front of said new currency to which he was an advocate for the Federal Reserve enslaving to a system which our our own government has no control nor say in this privatized system. This pyramiding with two inscriptions. One on the bottom reading ” Novus Ordo Seclorum” Translation, “ A new order of the World, This is a New Order of World. Then above the eye of the pyramid it reads, “Annuit Coeptis”, meaning “He has smiled on our accomplishments or our activities”. Now literally out of my way to not know Lincolns vice presidents name. Vanity is an abomination to God because it's an animal mentality keeping us to the status of highly intelligent primates. We are primitive in so many ways. How can you trust a species that continues to kill each other. Displays a flaw in character to which it would not be wise to trust. That's why we must share our inadequacies with the world so as strive towards a collective consciousness meaning every in accord sharing the same goal to expand, discover and ultimately establish new found environments not withing our galaxy. It's more then possible if we rid ourselves of self interest and act in the service of others. Never our own. Yet rules and regulations to which you can not avoid restricting to declaring your self of a particular nation in order for you to be allowed to participate in every day living. I would finally like an answer for a question I ask myself everyday. Is there a nation for those that have no nation. For those who were born under fortunate circumstances or an result of being conceived in an ill manner. To which will introduce a algorithm in life which will cause the mother trauma to which neglect would be an everyday factor in a new born”s life that will lead towards a inter-generational trauma unless a variable is introduced in the form of courage in order to triumph for the better and not end up a casualty of those responsible for their belief systems. There are known cults and satanist that do not register off spring. Reason being they can never save them selves from they're environment. Become fully functioning members of civilization. This also makes prosecution of those responsible for human trafficking nearly impossible. Jeffery Epstein is a perfect example of a flawed system ran by darkness disguised as light. Where are his associates, partners in crime? Well just look at the list of individuals that frequented his establishment and you'll see want kind of vermin running said nations.

November 14, 2022

Monday November 14 2022

( New updated Lyrics)

Not giving a fuck, getting stuck off the skunk, I don't give a fuck.l, I'll throw Satan in the trunk. Cuz the devil ain't shit. Nothing but a lil bitch. Slap him in the face make him run to his mommies tit. I'm about to throw a fit. Cuz life ain't fair, but I still like to share, cuz I'm a NORTHERN CALI BEAR. Trying to do the right thing always seems to be wrong. I'm tired of this broken record that's why I'm changing this song while I reaching for my bong. All I know is since accepting CHRIST. I died weak and the GOD resurrected me strong. I try to stay positive but it makes me feel uncomfortable, when surrounded by those who never really SHARED in the struggle. All they care about is their hustle, being “all about their money”. People like that are hella funny, so I laugh at them for being dummies. So society will call me menace, if they haven't already. But I ain't tripping I'm always ready. Suited and booted. A psychopath for Christ, connecting me to God. Doing the best with with I have so I don't ever get caught. All my life, I've always fought with my my own fatal thoughts. Wish one day they might finally stop. But Christ legally adopted me, never realizing I've always had my Pops. I'm not embarrassed to let my tears drop. Each one representing loved ones that I lost. So I'm here to put the HOOD on the map, R.I.P OSCAR GRANT. Representing PALMA CEIA PARK, WEST SIDE HAYWARD LIKE WHAAAT. That's the heart of the Bay. Growing up never knowing which way I would end my day. “Left on my own at 16 being told, we are moving. You can't go and you can't stay”. I didn't know what the fuck to say. But Now that I'm grown I've realized why legal guardians are so afraid. Of me , from the P.C Eventually that debt owed to me will have to get paid but to God not me. So I'll just stay out the way. For the goal after this life is meeting Yaw-Weh. So I'm always relaxing, always steady packing. Punk get out of line, and you know he'll get smacking. I'm trying to catch up so I don't get caught laggin. You can always hear me laughin, while the joint I'm always passin. For I'll always rebel against those who impose, always trying to pose for their selfie. Looking like a bunch of hoes. I tend to stay away from those. Cuz now and day's, Most can't hang with that I bang on mud dragging, Demons through Christ. I look to compromise in life. It's all about rolling the dice. Nothing in life is nice, without sacrifice. I don't even like pie but I still need a slice. Only true soldier I know was my wife. Piece of mind remembering how she fought by my side. Eventually that anguish will subside. For I can't afford her happiness. The price is too high. So I have make sure she finds someone who can provide that price, her being the prize. No hard feeling, no hurt pride. But if anyone hurts her, it's a missing persons report, I put that on my life. Just look into my eyes and you'll see I'm not lying. As I howl at the moon feeling like a great lion. For all that bull shit you selling, I ain't even buying. No one will tell truth if have something to lose. Always lying until facing death. They always start crying. Seeing the pain in they're face. When life escapes they're eyes. So I just close mine as to not witness demise. That will corrupt any mind. If you don't believe me look at mine, which was lost but now found putting lyrics to this this beast. Getting ready to fucking pounce. Yelling fuck them lies, let them drop like flies. Cuz I'm down for mines, and I'm down to ride, throwing up the West Side, representing Brown Pride. Which I learned Growing up watching OG's. Weighing pounds to Grams. But I've changed my ways because that's not real me. Just another version created by the neglect and prejudice of society. They wouldn't understand what resides from within me. Which will resurface once you threaten me. Only then they'll call that number trying to eradicate good ol CheEZe! Is this my fault! For I was just a baby no one really cared for. Now I've been declared 5150 X4. Arguing for 3 hours during a stand off with authorities. I am labeled an illegal, so the law apply's to me. So I live my life outside of it. The choice wasn't made by me. Because Confinement and oppression will always be met with rebellion and aggression. That will shock and awe leaving a long lasting impression. Death, Carnage, and Chaos long forgotten. Only reminiscent of my confession. Left with scars and pain which over time will heal and pain will lessen. Yet the memory of this cold world will become a life long teaching lesson! May we all rest in peace. By CBC

MIND OVER BODY, SOUL OVER MIND, HEART OVER ALL. COURAGE IS KEY 🗝️. TO THE KINGDOM FOR ALL. HOLY FATHER ABOVE ALL.

November 5, 2022

A Sleepless Night

Today is November 5th 2022 and it is 2:21 p.m. and iit has not been a good morning. My wife has been suffering from a toothache. Let me just say it has not been a pleasant experience. Yet I like to tend to my wife when she is in need of any sort of aid. It makes me feel good although my behavioral therapist tells me it’s a co-dependent relationship. Either way it makes me feel good tending to her when she is ill. Same reason I donate to multiple charities in an uncontrollable manner when I am able to. Believe me when I tell you it’s gone as far as to cause conflict with my wife and I for it has affected our financial status before. To the point of it being detrimental to our well being. We were broke for the lack of better terms. Anyway’s today something different happened. Honestly I have 3 Lil Sumpin in me right now and I have a good buzz and in all honesty I’m about to look up the nearest liquor store, for I am now drunk! Well in all honesty I’m buzzin. Even though I’m in a terrible situation I am somewhat having a goog time! I just walked to the liquor store and back and got two 24 oz. of IPA Lagunitas. I am faded in the ER, and I don’t give a damn. I am feeling wreckless while I listen to John Coltrane so fuck it I’m posting this. Yaaaaayeeeeehhhhyaaaay!!!!!!

September 5, 2022

Aftermath

Today is Sunday September 4th 2022 and it is 6:23 p.m. The weather seems to be warm and sunny day. As if the Earth is trying to be kind to all of us in the form of a pleasant day. Unfortunately my wife and I are not capable of enjoying it due to the fact that we caught a bug and are under the weather. We tested ourselves for Covid which came out negative. Although I've had Covid twice and honestly it feels almost as if it were positive. In reality I take full responsibility. On Monday we went to the local bar for open mic night and of coarse I let myself down and started drinking again. I had been drinking earlier that day. I then decided to take just 2 shots that day at the bar with one beer. Plus the one I brought with me. I haven't been drinking at all for a while previously until that day. To be honest I got what I deserved. I spent the most part of the rest of Tuesday dry heaving puddles of bile vomit. Then I guess I caught a bug from the crowd which caused my wife to get ill as well. Iv'e been very disappointed with myself because I've been letting my wife down allot lately. I stopped taking my meds “ generic Zyprexa, Olanzapine”. It did not feel like it was the right one for me. I have a doctors appointment this coming up Tuesday and I'm going to request lithium for the first time. Either that or go back on generic Seroquel. Only reason I stopped was because they started me off with 300 mg Quantaphine aka Seroquel and since I am an “ illegal immigrant” and don't want nor need to be on disability. I can barely function on that dose. Although the State of California has blessed me with restricted Medi-Cal due to the severity of my mental illness which is predisposition because allot of my blood relatives also were born with exactly the same behavior, treatment, illness. Inherited from my grandfather. Very angry 6'2” strong man who caused my grandmother much undeserved anguish. Inez Bravo Castillo was the glue that held our family together. She once told me he was a violent man who was a ladies man and he like to spend his time at the cantinas. Drinking bars. She told me he would experience paranoid delusional thoughts coming home terrified yelling that different farm animals used to follow him home. He claimed they had Red Glowing eyes with smoke coming out their nostrils and the mouths would glow like hot coals. Here is tge list of animals. Bull, Goat, rooster, dog and even a widow in a wedding dress. My grandmother told me that month before a young girl took her own life so as to not be forced to marry a man she despised. So I believe my grandfather Ruben suffered from schizophrenia. The evidence speaks for itself. After my grandma passed away from breast cancer. He move in with his girlfriend an month and a half later. No one knew especially not my grandma. He was in is 60's for goodness sake. No one spoke to him for years. Let's just say the Bravos hardly socialize with the Castillo's half of the family. So it's in my blood to let my loved one's down. The perfect way to describe me and my actions is as this. The Holy Bible New Testament Book of Titus chapter 1 verses 15 – 16. That is exactly what the Holy Spirit led me to when I open the Bible on a the random page. A long time ago the OG shot callers for the Norteno's for Tracy Ca, sat me down and lectured me. Told me that I need to program or dicepline myself and to accept Christ in my life. The homie alias 'Undead, Kilo, and Diablo' asked me this. “If I would die tomorrow and stand in front of God and God would ask, ” How much time a day do you dedicate to me?” what would I say. I responded, “ I don't know, I go to church once ever great while,” Then the homies responded this, “ Your telling me you can't dedicate 5 minutes a day to Christ. Then Javier taught me the tool or method that would change my life. The Bible Trick. Then Jav's asked me if I own a Bible. I responded no. He then went to his vehicle and pulled out the Bible they gave him in prison. Oh, I forgot to mention he was released from prison earlier that day. It was the Free Inside NIRV Bible. I still have it barely held together by tape and string. Then the Homies told me in prison it is mandatory for all Northern Mexicans to study scripture or I will be DP'd which means you get disciplined which pretty much means they take you to the bathroom and beat you up slightly until you comply or become 86'ed. No if's, and's or but's about it. The Northerners believe that the Old Testament still applies to places at war. Ukraine is the perfect example where it applies right now as I speak. Proverbs. If it weren't for that lecture and that Bible gifted to me I doubt I would be here alive and free and not incarcerated. Believe me when I tell you not being registered at birth has little advantages in the form of refuge. I didn't even know I had 2 first names until 2019. I am literally the Mexican Ricky Bobby. Don't know how to slow down, love exhilaration, mother and father issues, and my mouth and attitude always get me in trouble. I always have to address the issue no matter what. I won't be able to live with myself if I allow anyone to take my kindness for weakness. Depending on the circumstances. This is how I react my whole life. My environment always affects my mental state. Causing my state of mind to shift to a different version of me which will invoke a certain energy that I will manifest to my environment and I will not stop until I feel I can live with myself the next day. So I enjoy standing up for those who can't or won't stand up for themselves. The recent experience at the Dairy ranch in Point Reyes Station is proof enough. Iv'e spoken to many individuals who were were victimized some how by them and were cheering me on telling me they are glad and proud of me for standing my ground. Believe me when I tell you. I gave them hell. New Testament style. I never cared about the money or ever intended settling out of court. My main objective was entirely to prove to them that they can't use intimidation as a tool for tyrants and get away with it. At least not around me. I have plenty of evidence to prove that they treat illegal immigrants as lesser human being. For them it's all about maximum productivity for highest profitable income with minimal overhead in the form of limiting funds that would be used for each employee. No home repairs for my co workers and neighbors. Providing terrible living conditions. Which provide poor quality of living for young children of single hardworking parents. Yet the nice credited homes are provided for friends and American renters. I know for a fact my friend and ex co worker was being paid less then federal minimum wage. Thanks to Marin County Legal Aid and my resourcefulness of cataloging everything. They were able to assist me with accounting and found many unlawful manipulation of the payroll. If it weren't for them. Justice would not exist for illegals like us. All Lives Matter. Not just US residents and citizens. To deny us our basic human right to live like human beings and not animal is just like denying us our basic human right to breathe. So are they going to deprive our lungs with oppression. So what? Are we not good enough to stand and breathe next to you. Are we not allowed to enjoy life as much as them. Six days a week split shift with only four hours in between for rest only allows to reach 3rd and 4th r.e.ms. cycles of sleep once a week because you only get 8 hours + until your day off. Anyone knows that rest is detrimental to anyone's mental well being. Sudden schedule change forced me to work 8 days strait. I'd like to see the employers complete same work load for more then 3 months. I doubt they would be able to hold up. Live stock farm life is not for everyone. That's why country music and spanish ranchera corridos are depressing. From Johnny Cash to Ramon Ayala, Cowboy life is not easy nor for the faint of heart. There's always someone clashing heads. A real man knows how to take a joke and leaves his burdens at the door. No grudge. Push comes to shove, step outside winner picks up loser and buys him a beer. For people like me it's a bonding experience. I always carry my boxing head gear and gloves but usually there is no animosity involved. I scrapped with my best of friends of ten years plus. All my childhood friends have all being taking way before they're time. Here's a small list. 7th grade Eric C. Suicide. Jose Sanchez, Homicide, Fernando aka Payaso, Homicide, of coarse everyone know Oscar Grant from the movie Fruitville Station, Jordan Fumar, homicide few months before Jon Tue Caldwell, few months after Oscar died. Aaron Kelly 13 years old in Stockton our friend and neighbor. Even recently Emanuel my lil neighbor who we saw grow up was murdered 3 months ago in front of his house while his family was home. This being the most recent. Well I think I have satisfied my urge to express myself in a non combative way. This is a current look into my mind, psyche and soul. But I stand strong in the battle in my mind and life in the war of living a fully successful life. Even if it's just for another day. All glory goes to The All Mighty in the name of Santi Cristo Jesus. For allowing me to triumph over my errors. I proudly can say I have no ill will in my heart and pray for those that harbor ill will to change they're ways for their own salvation through Christ Jesus sacrifice. For the covenant is, so long as we forgive those who trespass against us. The All Mighty will always forgive our trespasses and allow justice to prevail only in the manner the God deems fit. Yay though we are currently living in times ran by darkness disguised as light. As the victims of Ukraine have proven to be true. I shall fear no evil. For I feel thy presence, thy fruit of thy knowledge, thy protection, thy guidance and most important thy forgiveness. So do with me as you will. For I am just a miscreant being. I have no say in the matter. In the name of The Holy Trinity I will always pray for all man kind to reach a collective consciousness. So I focus on this. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over all. AMEN.