CBC

Insight into mental illness. Bipolar Schitzo effective

Aftermath

Today is Sunday September 4th 2022 and it is 6:23 p.m. The weather seems to be warm and sunny day. As if the Earth is trying to be kind to all of us in the form of a pleasant day. Unfortunately my wife and I are not capable of enjoying it due to the fact that we caught a bug and are under the weather. We tested ourselves for Covid which came out negative. Although I've had Covid twice and honestly it feels almost as if it were positive. In reality I take full responsibility. On Monday we went to the local bar for open mic night and of coarse I let myself down and started drinking again. I had been drinking earlier that day. I then decided to take just 2 shots that day at the bar with one beer. Plus the one I brought with me. I haven't been drinking at all for a while previously until that day. To be honest I got what I deserved. I spent the most part of the rest of Tuesday dry heaving puddles of bile vomit. Then I guess I caught a bug from the crowd which caused my wife to get ill as well. Iv'e been very disappointed with myself because I've been letting my wife down allot lately. I stopped taking my meds “ generic Zyprexa, Olanzapine”. It did not feel like it was the right one for me. I have a doctors appointment this coming up Tuesday and I'm going to request lithium for the first time. Either that or go back on generic Seroquel. Only reason I stopped was because they started me off with 300 mg Quantaphine aka Seroquel and since I am an “ illegal immigrant” and don't want nor need to be on disability. I can barely function on that dose. Although the State of California has blessed me with restricted Medi-Cal due to the severity of my mental illness which is predisposition because allot of my blood relatives also were born with exactly the same behavior, treatment, illness. Inherited from my grandfather. Very angry 6'2” strong man who caused my grandmother much undeserved anguish. Inez Bravo Castillo was the glue that held our family together. She once told me he was a violent man who was a ladies man and he like to spend his time at the cantinas. Drinking bars. She told me he would experience paranoid delusional thoughts coming home terrified yelling that different farm animals used to follow him home. He claimed they had Red Glowing eyes with smoke coming out their nostrils and the mouths would glow like hot coals. Here is tge list of animals. Bull, Goat, rooster, dog and even a widow in a wedding dress. My grandmother told me that month before a young girl took her own life so as to not be forced to marry a man she despised. So I believe my grandfather Ruben suffered from schizophrenia. The evidence speaks for itself. After my grandma passed away from breast cancer. He move in with his girlfriend an month and a half later. No one knew especially not my grandma. He was in is 60's for goodness sake. No one spoke to him for years. Let's just say the Bravos hardly socialize with the Castillo's half of the family. So it's in my blood to let my loved one's down. The perfect way to describe me and my actions is as this. The Holy Bible New Testament Book of Titus chapter 1 verses 15 – 16. That is exactly what the Holy Spirit led me to when I open the Bible on a the random page. A long time ago the OG shot callers for the Norteno's for Tracy Ca, sat me down and lectured me. Told me that I need to program or dicepline myself and to accept Christ in my life. The homie alias 'Undead, Kilo, and Diablo' asked me this. “If I would die tomorrow and stand in front of God and God would ask, ” How much time a day do you dedicate to me?” what would I say. I responded, “ I don't know, I go to church once ever great while,” Then the homies responded this, “ Your telling me you can't dedicate 5 minutes a day to Christ. Then Javier taught me the tool or method that would change my life. The Bible Trick. Then Jav's asked me if I own a Bible. I responded no. He then went to his vehicle and pulled out the Bible they gave him in prison. Oh, I forgot to mention he was released from prison earlier that day. It was the Free Inside NIRV Bible. I still have it barely held together by tape and string. Then the Homies told me in prison it is mandatory for all Northern Mexicans to study scripture or I will be DP'd which means you get disciplined which pretty much means they take you to the bathroom and beat you up slightly until you comply or become 86'ed. No if's, and's or but's about it. The Northerners believe that the Old Testament still applies to places at war. Ukraine is the perfect example where it applies right now as I speak. Proverbs. If it weren't for that lecture and that Bible gifted to me I doubt I would be here alive and free and not incarcerated. Believe me when I tell you not being registered at birth has little advantages in the form of refuge. I didn't even know I had 2 first names until 2019. I am literally the Mexican Ricky Bobby. Don't know how to slow down, love exhilaration, mother and father issues, and my mouth and attitude always get me in trouble. I always have to address the issue no matter what. I won't be able to live with myself if I allow anyone to take my kindness for weakness. Depending on the circumstances. This is how I react my whole life. My environment always affects my mental state. Causing my state of mind to shift to a different version of me which will invoke a certain energy that I will manifest to my environment and I will not stop until I feel I can live with myself the next day. So I enjoy standing up for those who can't or won't stand up for themselves. The recent experience at the Dairy ranch in Point Reyes Station is proof enough. Iv'e spoken to many individuals who were were victimized some how by them and were cheering me on telling me they are glad and proud of me for standing my ground. Believe me when I tell you. I gave them hell. New Testament style. I never cared about the money or ever intended settling out of court. My main objective was entirely to prove to them that they can't use intimidation as a tool for tyrants and get away with it. At least not around me. I have plenty of evidence to prove that they treat illegal immigrants as lesser human being. For them it's all about maximum productivity for highest profitable income with minimal overhead in the form of limiting funds that would be used for each employee. No home repairs for my co workers and neighbors. Providing terrible living conditions. Which provide poor quality of living for young children of single hardworking parents. Yet the nice credited homes are provided for friends and American renters. I know for a fact my friend and ex co worker was being paid less then federal minimum wage. Thanks to Marin County Legal Aid and my resourcefulness of cataloging everything. They were able to assist me with accounting and found many unlawful manipulation of the payroll. If it weren't for them. Justice would not exist for illegals like us. All Lives Matter. Not just US residents and citizens. To deny us our basic human right to live like human beings and not animal is just like denying us our basic human right to breathe. So are they going to deprive our lungs with oppression. So what? Are we not good enough to stand and breathe next to you. Are we not allowed to enjoy life as much as them. Six days a week split shift with only four hours in between for rest only allows to reach 3rd and 4th r.e.ms. cycles of sleep once a week because you only get 8 hours + until your day off. Anyone knows that rest is detrimental to anyone's mental well being. Sudden schedule change forced me to work 8 days strait. I'd like to see the employers complete same work load for more then 3 months. I doubt they would be able to hold up. Live stock farm life is not for everyone. That's why country music and spanish ranchera corridos are depressing. From Johnny Cash to Ramon Ayala, Cowboy life is not easy nor for the faint of heart. There's always someone clashing heads. A real man knows how to take a joke and leaves his burdens at the door. No grudge. Push comes to shove, step outside winner picks up loser and buys him a beer. For people like me it's a bonding experience. I always carry my boxing head gear and gloves but usually there is no animosity involved. I scrapped with my best of friends of ten years plus. All my childhood friends have all being taking way before they're time. Here's a small list. 7th grade Eric C. Suicide. Jose Sanchez, Homicide, Fernando aka Payaso, Homicide, of coarse everyone know Oscar Grant from the movie Fruitville Station, Jordan Fumar, homicide few months before Jon Tue Caldwell, few months after Oscar died. Aaron Kelly 13 years old in Stockton our friend and neighbor. Even recently Emanuel my lil neighbor who we saw grow up was murdered 3 months ago in front of his house while his family was home. This being the most recent. Well I think I have satisfied my urge to express myself in a non combative way. This is a current look into my mind, psyche and soul. But I stand strong in the battle in my mind and life in the war of living a fully successful life. Even if it's just for another day. All glory goes to The All Mighty in the name of Santi Cristo Jesus. For allowing me to triumph over my errors. I proudly can say I have no ill will in my heart and pray for those that harbor ill will to change they're ways for their own salvation through Christ Jesus sacrifice. For the covenant is, so long as we forgive those who trespass against us. The All Mighty will always forgive our trespasses and allow justice to prevail only in the manner the God deems fit. Yay though we are currently living in times ran by darkness disguised as light. As the victims of Ukraine have proven to be true. I shall fear no evil. For I feel thy presence, thy fruit of thy knowledge, thy protection, thy guidance and most important thy forgiveness. So do with me as you will. For I am just a miscreant being. I have no say in the matter. In the name of The Holy Trinity I will always pray for all man kind to reach a collective consciousness. So I focus on this. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over all. AMEN.

Today is August 6 11: 08 a.m.

(Wrote this yesterday)

It's a cool summer day. A fresh bay breeze blowing through. I feel as if it's a bland day. I have been struggling in my mind and starting to adapt to my new environment. I'm not sure how to move forward. My depression has been getting the best out of me. I have been trying to better myself on my own. Through support group central, as well as literature and started a new regiment of meds Zyprexa. For example I started reading 7 promises of the promise keepers. The book explains that for you to be successful in life, you need 3 types of people to whom you trust. You need a Timothy, a Paul, and a Barnabas. #1 A Timothy is an elder who you can seek guidance and advice from. Someone who's been through, most, if not all.  #2 A, Paul is someone that you can trust to call you out on your B S. A soul brother. A road dog. And #3 a Barnabas, someone you can mentor yourself cause them to learn from your mistakes so they don't stumble on the same stone you stumbled on yourself. 

So I've always had an issue I have no control over. I call it the 3 road blocks

1* I don't like asking for help from strangers or anyone for that matter. 2* When people offer help it makes me feel very uncomfortable.3* I also don't like accepting help. Still figuring out that one.

So today I'm proud for I have chosen my mentor. He is a military veteran. Marine Corps pilot. Vietnam vet. Peter Q, sponsored me on my baptism on Father's Day this year. The way I see it by doing so Christ Jesus legally adopted me. So now I have the greatest of father's. So I hope this will be a step towards tearing down the 3 road blocks. In hopes of receiving advice from someone my wife and I both respect. As for Paul I have found someone. Only thing is he respects all life so fishing and firing range might be out of the question. Flyn “Q” is his name. Only problem I don't want to self sabotage and I'm afraid misery might find a way to take away what I value the most. Family, truth, equality. Without prejudice, or judgment. He has experienced close death encounter so he understands. He has seen the afterlife as well. He also seeks the truth. Only one left is Barnabas. All in due time. Today is a small step towards Order above chaos. Wish me luck.

GOD IS GOOD

By CBC

Today is August 7th 2022 and It's 5:45 a.m.  Seems to be a chilly night with a bit of humidity. Which I find odd since it being the end of summer. I've been living in my mind for the most part of the day. Realizing questions I have that only a certified specialist might be able to shed some light on.  Unfortunately thanks to the pandemic.  They are in high demand these days therefore I have been told I'm on the waiting list for therapy.  For example, my inner voice I hear when I'm reading, well before my repressed memory resurfaced it used to sound of that is a adolescent young kid.  When I would voice record myself so I can write it down later.  I would not recognize my voice because it did not sound in comparison when I would hear myself speak out loud.  Now that it is no longer repressed my inner voice now sounds of that of an adult.  I developed the capability to play music in my mind, at will. So long as I remember the lyrics and melody to go along with it.  I imagine all adults can do that, but it's new to me.  I can also sing the lyrics to a song I know while I write down what I'm thinking or copying from my screen at the same time.  It's almost as if that kind of trauma at a very early age ( 4 or 5) stunts or stops your mental capabilitie from maturing to that of an adult mental state.  I also recognize my dysfunctional behavior more actively and try to correct it. I  can meditate for long periods of time. Which was impossible before.  Could barely sit still. I also now realize I need a plan to accomplish goals in life since I have a late start 35 years too late since I realized what trauma clouded my judgment. I now choose to better myself so I can reach my max potential before I expire. I wonder to myself if anyone has cataloged or a better understanding of what I am experiencing. According to my behavioral health counselor from San Joaquin county.  Who saved my life by the way.  “ once your trauma clicks with your behavior that's when you start healing.” He also told me this, and I quote “ People are what they are, not because of you, they are how they want to be and neither you nor anyone else has the authority to change them.  If you feel affected by them, You have to set the limits/ bounderies, to know located yourself, to know how to say “No,” and only allow them to talk to you with mutual respect as a requirement.  The management of your emotions is not in others hands... it is in YOU. Do not use your smart mind to try to know, “why they are like that”... Very smart man.  He is very wise.  He was right. Thank you Ivan Aguilar.  You truly saved my life with your therapy.  GOD BLESS YOU!

Sunday May, 08 2022 6:54

“Excuse My Language”

Lyrics to a song I'm writing. (🧀)

Not giving a fuck, getting stuck off the skunk, I gives a fuck. I'll throw Satan in the trunk. Cuz the devil ain't shit. Nothing but a lil bitch. Slap him in the face make him run to his mommies tit. I'm about to throw a fit. Even though life ain't fair, I still like to share, cuz I'm a NORTHERN CALI BEAR. I miss being afraid, so you know I don't scare. it's my burden to bare. I'll do what most wouldn't dare. Trying to do the right thing always seems to be wrong. I'm tired of this broken record that's why I'm changing this song while I reach for my bong. All I know since accepting CHRIST I died weak and the ALL MIGHTY resurrected me strong. I try to stay positive but it makes me feel uncomfortable, when surrounded by those who never really SHARED struggle. All they care about is the hustle, being “all about their money”. People like that are funny, so I laugh at them for being dummies. So society will call me menace, if they haven't already. But I ain't tripping I'm always ready. Suited and booted. A psychopath for Christ, connecting me to God. Doing the best with with I have so I don't ever get caught. All my life, I've always fought with my my own fatal thoughts. Wish one day it will finally stop. But Christ legally adopted me never realizing I've always had my Pops. I'm not embarrassed to let the tears drop. Each one representing loved ones that I lost. So I'm here to put the HOOD on the map, R.I.P OSCAR GRANT. Representing PALMA CEIA PARK, WEST SIDE HAYWARD LIKE WHAAAT. That's the heart of the Bay. Growing up never knowing which way I would end my day. “Left on my own at 16 being told, you can't go but you can't stay”. Shit I didn't know what the fuck to say. Now that I'm grown I've realized why legal guardians are so afraid. Of me , from the P.C Eventually that debt owed to me will have to get paid but to God not me. So I'll just stay out the way. For the goal after this life is meeting Yaw-Weh. So I'm always relaxing, always steady packing. Punk get out of line, and you know he'll get smacking. I'm trying to catch up so I don't get caught laggin. You can always hear me laughin, while the joint I'm always passin. For I'll always rebel against those who impose, always trying to pose for their selfie. Looking like a bunch of hoes. I tend to stay away from those. Most can't hang with that I bang on mud dragging, Demons through Christ. I look to compromise in life. It's all about rolling the dice. Nothing in life is nice, without sacrifice. I don't even like pie but I still need a slice. Only true soldier I know was my wife. Piece of mind remembering how she fought by my side. Eventually that anguish will subside. For I can't afford her happiness. The price is too high. So I have make sure that she finds the guy that can provide that price, her being the prize. No hard feeling, no hurt pride. For anyone fucks with her, there will be a missing person, I swear that on my life. Just look into my eyes and you'll see I'm not lying as I howl at the moon feeling like a great lion. For all that bull shit you selling, I ain't even buying. No one will tell truth if have something to lose. Always lying until facing death. They always start crying. Seeing the pain in they're face. When life escapes they're eyes. So I just close mine as to not witness demise. That will corrupt any mind. If you don't believe me look at mine, which was lost but now found putting lyrics to this this beast. Getting ready to fucking pounce. Growing up learning from the OG's. Grams to pounds. But I've changed my ways because that's not real me. Just another version created by the neglect and prejudice of society. They wouldn't understand what resides from within me. Which will resurface if you begin to threaten me. Only then they'll call that number trying to eradicate those like me. Is this my fault! For I was just a baby no one really cared for. Now I've been declared 5150 X4 last 2 being non-voluntarily after a 3 hour stand off with authorities. I am labeled illegal so the law always apply's to me. So I live my life outside of it. The choice wasn't made by me. May we all rest in peace. By CBC

MIND OVER BODY, SOUL OVER MIND, HEART OVER ALL. COURAGE IS KEY 🗝️. TO THE KINGDOM FOR ALL. HOLY FATHER ABOVE ALL.

What can I do when I've lost my beautiful girl, to witch craft in the those practicing the dark arts in her? Anyone help please. They tell me it's to late. Her soul was drawn out . 2 people energy drained her at the same time without realizing it. Fuck I miss my beautiful girl. Her eyes are glazed and glossy. Only feel anger and fright!

I believe they point Reyes is not what it seems. Allot of practitioners of ritual offerings to false idols and practioners of dark arts to which Everytime i Triumph over evil in mind in soul all for the strive of making God proud of me through Christ. Which i feel his Devine light for i was convinced in a ill manner in a dark ritual to inherited the dark gift which i want no part of to begin with. To which many practitioners of dark arts begin to feed of my opening of third eye through Christ. I feel it draining our holy energy to where we can i can barley breath and cramp up when it's gone. My wife and I we were very happy. Now she is practicing dark arts in false idols. “Oshh—ooua” the evil goddess of hoodoo. The one that caused another servant to cut off her ears? I don't recognize her anymore. Found a book work words as “ more sin more forgiveness” and “forth way”. Mocking Bible verses like” the Bible is groovy” for old folks”. Now my wife Lorena is gone and i don't see her when I stare in her godless eyes as she mocks the Bible. I founda bingo lotto ticket in hey Bible ass book mark. She is now in a very negative tone and sentiment. My name is Cesar, I'm Not at the vineyards past up the hill At 12800 hwy 1 point Reyes station California house on the right #4. The landlord is a narcissistic sociopath whom I've declared war on. Didn't realize they warship the pyramid with the eye. Fuck the Illuminati Fuck what do I do when I can't trust anyone. This 2 jobs have gas lite us twice. Never experienced that before. Second time my wife and I got job offers on the same week and the following week were cancelled on the same day at the same time in separate job locations. I don't know how to defend against whatever this is S.O.S i know that book was filled with sinister spirits. Because when i burned it they attacked me in my dreams, and in my mind

(🧀)

I've been diagnosed schizoaffective. Psychopath with hyper active adrenal gland and developed a taste for neural nectar through multiple experiences psychological , emotional trauma my mother a dark woman who never bothered to registered me at birth. Neglect causing repressed memory of abuse. (PTSD) Intelligent Highest score on exit exam from my 2003 class I'm Hayward California. Eric Cartman from King middle school. Oscar Grant, ( fruit- ville Station) Jon Tie, Jordan Fumar, José Sánchez, Fernando aka Payaso R.I.P all passed away because the hood. One way or another. Palma Ceía Park West Side Hayward. Victims who rebel against society. I take down tyrants who bully and oppress and am proud of my trophies case. I consider myself a Californian who just fully surrendered and realized Christ Jesus legally adopted at birth so I Had a father the whole time. That's just how much my inability to distinguish between traumas clouded my judgment. Due to no registration at birth I have no form of ID. There for in the governments eyes I don't exist. I just found out a year or 2 I have 2 first names. My mother moved allot and changed my name through or my childhood. I'm trying to create a podcast to debate 1%ers. Voice my concerns and following in the footsteps of the African Americans which have already triumphed what I go through. All lives matter not just American Citizens. Why is there not a nation for those who have no inherited nation. Outcasts, outlaws. Those who are considered living and breathing contraband labeled as intruders and given the title “illegal aliens”. My blog ( Insight into mental illness declared 5150 4 times).

A petitioner started a year ago for screening for mental illness in high school just as they do for scoliosis. Hopefully somebody signs it this time attached with my suicide letter.

https://www.change.org/p/unified-school-district-mandatory-screening-for-mental-illness-during-high-school-just-like-they-do-for-scoliosis

Write.As/CBC/

“False expectations”

Today is October 28th 2021 and it's 4:01 a.m. This has been a very upsetting and tragic time. The thing I fretted of losing this supposed “dream” job and beautiful home has become a reality. I feel torn from my wife. I have been terminated because of my mental illness. Only a month after returning from a broken ankle I suffered at work. I have been having problems with my wife because a co worker has been coming over my home and contently informing her of my conflicts with management. As well as complaints on certain aspects of work due to my voicing my opinion having to familiarize myself with the cows being milked since I've just recuperated and freshly back from a broken ankle I suffered at work. She would then argue with me telling me to stop standing up for myself and just stay quite. To which I responded negatively. Well we are now considering separating after 18 years. The lack of therapy for both of us and the depression for her being alone while I'm at work since it's 6 days a week split shift meaning I could dedicate 36 hours a week aside from my day off which I pretty much slept through. That has directly caused us to slowly unravelled the foundation that couples therapy had built over past year. It's been very difficult to find a therapist here in Marin county. The fact that we are separating caused me to suffer from severe depression to which I had a depressive psychotic episode in which I missed my last shift at the end of my work week. I went to the clinic the following day. So unfortunately I missed 1 shift. Well the next day which happen to be my day off after returning from the clinic the the owner pulled up after me and she handed me an envelope to which contained a check for $56.00 since my wages were garnished for owned taxes to the government. $600+ to be exact. My whole last check. I did not fully comprehend what was going on. Then about an hour later I received a text from the owners husband telling me “ you no longer work here, please make arrangements for the housing provided will be needed for replacement employee. I couldn't believe it. According to the fair housing and disabilities act there are supposed to be accommodations made for I am legally declared severely disabled by the state of California. I guess I don't get such luxuries due to my lack in legal residency. The thing is my mother never register me at birth there for I don't exist in the governments eyes. Not even a Mexican citizen. To make things worse they have made it clear I'm not wanted nor welcome since they followed me up the hill with their high beams on me and followed me all the way to my home and remained parked in front. I had to close the blinds so my wife would not notice. Didn't move for 10 minutes. Now they want my wife and I to go back to living in our vehicle since we have until the end of October to be out of this home. Mind you I was terminated on the 8th of this month. Why is there always unwarranted misplaced animosity towards me where ever I go. My deeds which are pure intentions are always repaid in a negative manor. So I have interviews and possible employment here in point reyes station CA. Yet it almost seems as if my ex employers are trying to make it so that we have no choice but to leave town. There have been employees who have been terminated yet allowed to remain in the homes so long as rent is paid. Why can't I do the same? I have funding to cover 2 months of rent. Yet they won't accept it. I am truly being treated unfairly and my poor wife has to endure it by my side. SMH. I will not stand for it. I will stand my ground and I will not falter. I guess misery found a way to take away from me what I feared the most. My wife. My 3 curses in life. #1Family, #2Truth, and #3Equality. I've never known how those 3 feel for I have no kin nor heritage nor even know the name of my biological father. So now I bow my head and pray and ask God in the name of Jesus Christ to give us the strength to triumph over this nightmare set forth in front of us in order to remain vigilant on the road to righteousness in the strive for progress for all those who have no ill will towards anyone, for we are the ones who suffer the most in the world yet, we are the ones who can and will become the strongest through a righteous cause if God sees fit in the everyday battle in ones mind, and ones life, in the war of living a fully successful life. For if you are weak at heart this world will surely corrupt you. And to those that do have ill will towards others, please Lord help them change they're ways in order for they're salvation to become possible through redemption through the sacrifice your son Jesus Christ gave his life for, as I learn to forgive those who sin against my wife and I, just as we are forgiven for our sins by our Holy Father. In your name we pray for ever and ever, Amen. We will rise for I don't have it in me to quit. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over All.

“False expectations”

Today is October 28th 2021 and it's 4:01 a.m. This has been a very upsetting and tragic time. The thing I fretted of losing this dream job and home has been torn from my wife and I. I have been terminated because of my mental illness. Only a month after returning from a broken ankle I suffered at work. I have been having problems with my wife because a co worker has been coming over my home and contently informing her of my conflicts with management. As well as complaints on certain aspects of work due to my voicing my opinion having to familiarize myself with the cows being milked since I've just recuperated and freshly back from a broken ankle I suffered at work. She would then argue with me telling me to stop standing up for myself and just stay quite. To which I responded negatively. Well we are now considering separating after 18 years. The lack of therapy for both of us and the depression for her being alone while I'm at work since it's 6 days a week spilt shift meaning I could dedicate 36 hours a week aside from my day off which I pretty much slept through. That has directly caused us to slowly unravelled the foundation that couples therapy had built over past year. It's been very difficult to find a therapist here in Marin county. The fact that we are separating caused me to suffer from severe depression to which I had a depressive psychotic episode in which I missed my last shift at the end of my work week. I went to the clinic the following day. So unfortunately I missed 1 shift. Well the next day which happen to be my day off after returning from the clinic the the owner pulled up after me and she handed me an envelope to which contained a check for $56.00 since my wages were garnished for owned taxes to the government. $600+ to be exact. My whole last check. I did not fully comprehend what was going on. Then about an hour later I received a text from the owners husband telling me “ you no longer work here, please make arrangements for the housing provided will be needed for replacement employee. I couldn't believe it. According to the fair housing and disabilities act there are supposed to be accommodations made for I am legally declared severely disabled by the state of California. I guess I don't get such luxuries due to my lack in legal residency. The thing is my mother never register me at birth there for I don't exist in the governments eyes. Not even a Mexican citizen. To make things worse they have made it clear I'm not wanted nor welcome since they followed me up the hill with their high beams on me and followed me all the way to my home and remained parked in front. I had to close the blinds so my wife would not notice. Didn't move for 10 minutes. Now they want my wife and I to go back to living in our vehicle since we have until the end of October to be out of this home. Mind you I was terminated on the 8th of this month. Why is there always unwarranted misplaced animosity towards me where ever I go. My deeds which are pure intentions are always repaid in a negative manor. So I have interviews and possible employment here in point reyes station CA. Yet it almost seems as if my ex employers are trying to make it so that we have no choice but to leave town. There have been employees who have been terminated yet allowed to remain in the homes so long as rent is paid. Why can't I do the same. I have funding to cover 2 months of rent. Yet they won't accept it. I am truly being treated unfairly and my poor wife has to endure it by my side. SMH. I will not stand for it. I will stand my ground and I will not fault er. I guess misery found a way to take away from me what I feared the most. My wife. My 3 cursed in life. Family, Truth, and Equality. I've never known how those 3 feel for I have no kin nor heritage nor the name of my biological father. So now I bow my head and pray and ask God in the name of Jesus Christ to give us the strength to triumph over this nightmare set forth in front of us in order to remain vigilant on the road to righteousness in the strive for progress for all those who have no ill will towards anyone for we are the ones who suffer the most in the world yet, we are the ones who can and will become the strongest through a righteous cause if God sees fit in the everyday battle in ones mind and ones life in the war of living a fully successful life. For if you are weak at heart this world will surely corrupt you. And to those that do have ill will towards others, please Lord help them change they're ways in order for they're salvation be possible through redemption for the sacrifice your son Jesus Christ gave his life for, as I learn to forgive those who sin against my wife and I, just as we are forgivin for our sins by our Holy Father. In your name we pray for ever and ever, Amen. We will rise for I don't have it in me to quit. Mind over Body, Soul over Mind, Heart over All.

Today I my wife and I gave to those who suffer the loss or struggle with Cancer. In honor of my Grandmother Inez Bravo and my wife's uncle Julio Navarro. Rest in peace.

https://kapwi.ng/c/bqZEoz7E