Elias

some of my thoughts and notes

The base below every perfume is the skin of the wearer. The base of a perfume is what stays the longest and is designed to enhance the scent of the skin.

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Just two days ago, on Wednesday, I had an amazing online-conversation with an 81-year-old British guy, that flipped my mindset into a much better state.

I first discovered his website more than five years ago, and a few days ago, after seeing a post from him on LinkedIn, I reached out to him and booked a time in his calendar.

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Last year in February I spent a few weeks in Portugal, some of them in a forest estate in a northern valley. I loved climbing the lemon trees every few days and picking some ripe lemons to make fresh ice tea. The grated the peels to extract as much as possible of their beautiful fragrance, and I loved standing in the trees where the fragrances of the wood, the leaves and the lemons mixed. I also loved the fragrance of the wet earth and moss in the forest.

Feeling how little time we have to do the things that we need to and want to do, there is a clear need to somehow make more time. Three ways for doing so:

  1. Blocking time for important activities that demand uninterrupted focus. This is especially important for creative activities, but also for activities that we tend to procrastinate because we don't want to do them.
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I just discovered an interesting type of limitation in my mind. Basically, whenever I am “not fully decided”, or something “isn't permanent”, I limit my perception of this. I don't fully enjoy it.

For example, we are “not fully decided” on how long we are going to continue living in this house, but definitely this “isn't permanent”.

In order to reflect this truth, I never feel “fully” at home, which involves a certain sense of permanence. But it is totally possible.

I had a somewhat special experience today. The bus was crowded and people kept pushing into us when I noticed that you were crying because you were feeling unsafe and overwhelmed.

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There is an interesting flavor to being alone again. My attention is completely free and I notice more things, I also don't have to worry about more than my own safety. If I need to cross a busy road on my route that's fine as long as I'm safe.

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Last year, the woman I love most decided to join me traveling. I don't know how that happened, but it feels like an achievement just to have held up the possibility of this happening.

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For pretty much the first quarter century of my life I've been focused more or less on (the joy of) understanding things and how they work.

Where exactly this direction of my curiosity resulted from isn't very clear to me.

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Last night I had some pretty bad nightmares. I remember visiting Gaza and being surrounded by suffering people and immediate danger. I went onto a traditional muscle-powered boat, one of the last ones that survived, but eventually it sank and all of us were swimming in the water.

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