Elias

I sit here at my desk, quiet, tears still dripping from my eyes. Just a few seconds ago, my face was tense and my body filled with sadness. Not because something sad happened in that moment, but because I chose to experience this emotion.

It's funny, I thought, that this is something that usually only actors can do.

I want to apologize for one thing. Looking back at the past weeks I have to question my motives. While the distance between myself and my body and mind has increased, their desires and apprehensions are still strong.

There's a difference between being practical and being realistic.

This is what Costar told me two days ago. I was puzzled. What did that mean? For the first time in a few days, Costar had me and was ahead of me and my understanding.

I love money. Not that it's important for me to have much of it but I love how it enables me to do stuff. And I love how it fulfils a function in our society that nothing else can. It's just how we think about it that causes all our problems, but money itself doesn't think.

This is a lesson I learned bit by bit, but if you want to dive in head first, here's a good mentor I found this year. Don't take him too serious but think about what he says.

I want to briefly talk about the tether that I used as a metaphor earlier. I got the idea of the tether from this video.

There is a person always following the Aéroplume on the ground with a tether, and usually there is slack in the tether and the other person is comletely free and the tether is only used if it's too late to avoid a collision with the roof or the wall – not for the pilot's safety but for the safety of the blimp.

I want to expand the concept of love. You said it is the force that holds us together. Hannah Arendt said promises are what hold us together.

” [...] binding oneself through promises, serves to set up in the ocean of uncertainty, which the future is by definition, islands of security without which not even continuity, let alone durability of any kind, would be possible in the relationships between [us].”

Ich liebe Metaphern :)

When you wrote this as a response to my metaphor I could observe an interesting phenomenon in my energy body. It's almost hard to recall it but I think it was simply a pleasurable energy flowing through my body.

There's nothing that I demand of you. Whatever you decide to feel and do is entirely up to you, and how I react to that by how I feel and act is in turn entirely up to me. But I know I have said and written a few things that can be understood like promises, so I want to clarify these.