anxiety blog
“One of the interesting things about life is that it can present us with the fact that what we thought we knew absolutely about ourselves is wrong. Well, sometimes it’s not so much wrong, but it turns out what was right for one phase of our lives may be the opposite of what we want for another.”
“You behaved badly and neither he nor I are going to give you the #absolution you seek.”
Cleanse me from all of it. Make me clean.
they focus so much on getting you to stop wanting to die, but never on making you want to live. People don't want to confront their own mortality through us. They want their own feelings validated. They only see you as a project.
◾I'll never get out of this crisis ◾The pain of living my daily reality isn't worth it for the amount of happiness i get out of life ◾I'll never reach the goals that would improve my situation ◾If I die young people would be able to think I had potential; if I keep living they'll know what a loser I'm destined to be ◾I don't have the skills or resources I #need to live ◾Nobody cares whether I live or die, so it's not worth the effort to keep living ◾I've lost something I can't get back and will never have again (friends, family, partner, large sums of #money or other important items)
◾I've made it this far, can I please die now? ◾I stayed alive for someone but now they're gone ◾I felt a lot of guilt for putting my family through it the first time but now the feeling is too overwhelming ◾I resent the people who want me to live ◾I tried all the things that were supposed to help me the first time and I still feel the same or worse ◾My life hasn't improved at all in X number of years or months
Palm and forehead / against the door I can't take this / any longer
I was counting on me / I let me down
when you warm up to me I get colder why can't you see the #blood on my hand when you hold it?
when I leave you / beg me to stay I'll always run / into the arms of my demons
I was counting on me / I let me down
I'm sicker than anyone else ever told me I was.
“I have never felt confident I could #trust another person to be the other parent. I’m not sure I could be a competent parent because of what I’ve been through.”
I was very aware that because I was young, because I was #AFAB, and because I was Fat; my feelings were meaningless, my thoughts were illegitimate, and most importantly my pain was hilarious. To the extent that my life had a value, it was as entertainment.
“Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” —Confucius, Analects XV.24 (ca. 500 B.C.)
“Never serve anyone a dish that you wouldn't want to eat yourself.” —Arthur, PBS (2003 A.D.)
“Sometimes, especially if you are a particularly sensitive person, it can be easy to confuse “someone who is #angry with me” with “someone I must have harmed in some way.”
I didn't do anything wrong. I was taught that if I think something and someone else thinks something different it means I was #wrong.