I like this:
I like this:
Nostr is cool.
Feeling. Useless. Nothing I do matters. Just want to do something dopamine releasing and fuck it. Sick. Tired of this country. Tired of eating shit. Microplastics, sugar, canola oil. Don't want to sleep on plastic pillows. Tired of the pollution. Chlorinated and fluoridated water supply. Coding tests. Wagecucking. Paying tax to a government I hate, that hates me.
How to opt out without joining the system?
Another perspective on life’s meaning: that we’re “working toward a more just future”
That the purpose of human life – human evolution – human history – hasn’t been discovered yet. It’s too early to tell what our meaning will be.
And yet I still somewhat believe the terrifying/infinite psychedelic ideas I have about nonduality and holography.
But I’m quite sure I’m not meant to live in that realisation full time…
Coffee makes me anxious. I know this. I made a bad decision drinking it.
It was nice – briefly. Felt euphoric. Took a big shit – probably too soon, it didn’t feel fully formed. Then the anxiety began, and it hasn’t stopped. I have a headache because of it too, I think.
I have 2.5 hours to kill. I have nothing I want to do. Going back home will already use up an hour – coming back as well.
I don’t want to apply for jobs.
I can maybe do some in1888 research. Figure out the file format.
I don’t want to walk anywhere since I have nice shoes.
I have $4.20, but I don’t really want to spend it.
Maybe I should sleep, like the man 50m away from me in this library.
Probably I ought to call the US consulate.
Maybe I ought to visit the prescription software guys.
Additionally I believe it’s better to do nothing than sit around wasting my time looking at social media or whatever.
It does not matter what I am anxious for. Maybe the decaf I thought I had, wasn't actually decaf. Maybe I haven't exercised enough recently. Maybe I've been ruminating unnecessarily. Perhaps I've had a little dose too much of philosophical pessimism.
You are in a playground where everything can go wrong for a reason. Where when you're dead, you're dead. Where you can suffer just as much as you can experience joy. Although, you can experience more joy than pain. There's no forcing function ensuring that you'll be dealt out an equal dose of pain for every bit of pleasure, or the other way around.
Monsters are real in this place. Also, this place can be made way better.
Why not try to build something that outlasts me? Leave a good impression on others' lives? Ease some suffering?
Take your self-hatred, your judgement, your anxiety, and your depression lightly. Get the effects of alcohol or entertainment without needing to indulge in them.
If depression is the price to pay for being aware of suffering, so be it. Just don't let it paralyse you. I think it's a worthy price to pay. Feel a bit more sad but be able to reduce the suffering of others.
A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, it feels like – even if sharing the sorrow makes the receiver a little sadder. And joys shared are joys doubled, too – mostly. Or some of the time.
There is no way to measure life. We can't tell if something is important or not, good or bad. Pain is a pretty good signal, most of the time – but seeking a moderate level of discomfort is actually a pretty good way to live.
If you only seek comfort, life will become scary and bleak. If you seek to reduce your own pain, and the pain of others, though – I think you can do a fair amount of good.
And the good you do is real – precisely because everything can go wrong.If suffering and decay and death are real, then that actually makes their opposites real.
What if rather than my good actions causing bad things to happen (a ridiculous belief in the first place), my good actions are the required balance to a world where many bad things happen?
What problems do I get distressed by?
Stop being sad. Read the Bible. Quit crypto. Don't eat bugs. Resist evil. Work out.
Thankful. Decaf coffee, sun, chicken and requeijao empanada.
It strikes me that there is a choice between:
and
Bro it is way better to believe in God.
Another great Jung quote
“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life... If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature... Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim. Madness is a special form of the spirit and clings to all teachings and philosophies, but even more to daily life, since life itself is full of craziness and at bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.” ― C.G. Jung
Another great Jung quote
“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life...If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature...Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim. Madness is a special form of the spirit and clings to all teachings and philosophies, but even more to daily life, since life itself is full of craziness and at bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.” ― C.G. Jung