anger and resentment cloud my way, attempts at cultivating love and connection gone astray.

bipolar experience, loving you has been between disconnected apathy and completely, obsessively, entirely, all-in.

so angry and hurt, unable to truly understand why,

how am i to work through it?

uncertainty fills me, and yet i know i must try.

abandonment logged, hollowing my lower belly anger cozily nestled between my shoulder blades, physiological repulsion on the rise, setting off endless emotional cascades.

lashing out in skewed attempts at connection intimately known strangers buried alive in lack where is your fucking reflection!?

come out, come out, wherever you are, clinging, grasping chanting for hope.

waiting on the promises that come from a sliver of sun,

where are you? where are you? this isn’t it, i need to work through this it isn’t over, this isn’t done.

#connection #relationshits #growth #poetry