i am an asshole yes, i know

should i plan your funeral this time, or is this once again for show?

every few years you seem to be dying, we’ve all given up on reason, there is no sense in trying .

you see i’ve lost my empathetic nature i just don’t have any more space to care such extreme language your hypochondriatic tendencies sinking us all quick into despair

we are desensitized to what you have left to say though i know you feel it to be true the reality is, your perspective’s quite askew

there is something wrong but it is not what you think and if i told you we might lose you in a blink

it’s in your mind you see it’s your fear of death, it’s your impulse to control all physical ailments to avoid the psychological pain of depth

but emotions hurt and they sometimes feel like you might die but you don’t you just keep suffocating on the water, the reoccurring nightmare, the storm's eye

so inhale it deeply let it drown your lungs because you’ll still be here even though you feel like it’s the end even if you wish it or don’t ...


#nobelone #poetry #hypocondriac


anger and resentment cloud my way, attempts at cultivating love and connection gone astray.

bipolar experience, loving you has been between disconnected apathy and completely, obsessively, entirely, all-in.

so angry and hurt, unable to truly understand why,

how am i to work through it?

uncertainty fills me, and yet i know i must try.

abandonment logged, hollowing my lower belly anger cozily nestled between my shoulder blades, physiological repulsion on the rise, setting off endless emotional cascades.

lashing out in skewed attempts at connection intimately known strangers buried alive in lack where is your fucking reflection!?

come out, come out, wherever you are, clinging, grasping chanting for hope.

waiting on the promises that come from a sliver of sun,

where are you? where are you? this isn’t it, i need to work through this it isn’t over, this isn’t done.

#connection #relationshits #growth #poetry



Spiral, Spiral down i go... don't take 'em with me... they wouldn't survive the #undertow.

what's real is not what matters doesn't c l o u d e d minds, skewed judgment, here but not. There... but present nothing but a petulant, wealthy peasant.

Pleasant, pleasant simplicity in nothing complex compounds filled with hopeful promises and yet... cunning and outright bluffing

hesitate. lingerrrr. taunting me with your wavering finger.

Mocking joy lurking around the bend, unattainable for minds like mine, homogeneity, my only friend…

all the same, i am the same as you i am the same

can't you see! here I am gutted open soul exposed,

how much longer must i waittt turning blu

#spiralout #loosingmyshit #poetry?