The discussion between the spouses is healthy and necessary for the continuation of the relationship. Sometimes, the debate intensifies and develops into a significant dispute, in which the husband blames the wife, accusing her of committing a mistake and spoiling the friendly discussion.
Sometimes, a woman leads the discussion to the brink of the abyss, without realizing it, and resorting unintentionally to some of the things that drive the husband's madness, and then she loses the debate.
1- Notify him of failure
Photo by Lamar Belina from Pexels
When it comes to money, some wives try to pressure her husband, believing that she urges him to do more, she may not covet many things and ask for necessities.
Some of them use the method of comparison with her friend who owns a house in an upscale area, or spent a vacation in a place, or bought a new car.
Stressing that method on the husband does not often help, especially if you know that he is doing his best in light of the adverse economic conditions that most countries are suffering from recently. On the contrary, the husband feels a permanent failure and default, which turns the rudder of the debate into an entire dispute.
Advertising
The solution is to think together; how to increase income? Reduce expenditures as much as possible to purchase essentials, develop a plan for obtaining what is classified under luxury.
2- Reminding him of the mistakes of the past
The previous mistake among some husbands is not always previous. Some women take advantage of the “wrong” of the former husband, to remind him of him on several occasions, perhaps for fear of his repetition and probably to show him how he forgave and overlooked his mistake.
The husband may feel embarrassed again and again, but the third time he feels insulted, which causes him to revolt, and the discussion ends between them with a sharp dispute.
3- Compare it with others
This raises the frenzy of many, perhaps doing it in good faith. As writer “Molly Parker” asserts on “Crosswalk” saying, “Nothing makes a man feel like a failure, more than his wife puts him in the trap of comparison with others, even if only in simple things.” Like how a husband treats his wife, how does that help her.”
Then the conversation between you and him may turn into a big battle, and you may find him revolting without understanding the reason, so there is no need for comparison, and I ask him quietly to express his interest in you as much as possible.
Men feel embarrassed when someone reminds him of his mistakes again (Pixels).
Men feel embarrassed when someone reminds him of his mistakes again (Pixels).
4- Blame him and complain about him
When the discussion begins with your husband and develops with a constant grumbling about his behavior and his character, which is, perhaps, know that you are losing the debate.
An article published on the site “Bonobology” confirms that some men are lazy by nature, a fact that cannot be denied and cannot be changed. Still, when his wife continually annoys him because of this habit, he becomes stubborn, and express successive disappointments, and negative feelings through constant blame lead to Resentment.
The article's author recommends wives the solution: “Trust your husband and motivate him to do things he is supposed to do and avoid the constant blame during the discussion with him.”
5- The loud voice
Some women resort to loudness with the heat of the debate, perhaps because they are more emotional and feel the constant pressure or injustice in discussion with their husbands. Still, unfortunately, it is a way to make you wrong even if you have the right to start the conversation.
Dr. Elliot Cohen, “founder and editor-in-chief of the International Journal of Applied Philosophy and the International Journal of Philosophical Practice,” confirms in an article on “Psychologytoday” that screaming or loudness is a defensive expression of self. When marital debates heat, adrenaline increases, heart rate increases, breathing speeds up, and voice rises Verbal defensive behavioral response.
The problem with such aggressive verbal responses is that they, on the other hand, tend to encounter similar defensive reactions from the husband who sees in your style a personal attack on him.
Instead, try to control your internal emotions, you may need some time for training, but it is necessary, costing you the loss every time you want to discuss with your husband.
One of them turns into silence in the middle of the discussion when she feels her husband's prejudice against her (networking sites)
One of them turns into silence in the middle of the discussion when she feels her husband's discrimination against her (networking sites)
6- Stop talking to him
Some women resort to silence in the middle of a discussion with her husband when she feels that he is wrong or prejudicing her and does not admit his mistake. According to “VeryWellMind,” silence and frowning are features of disavowing violence. The person uses them to express their anger and refuse to ignore or lack of interest, or as mechanisms Defensive to notify others of their mistakes.
But the man does not realize what the woman means by her silence, but he revolts and blames her for spoiling the debate.
Instead, define the points of discussion carefully and speak with emotion sometimes. With facts and other calculations sometimes, and leave him space to talk, do not stop and do not use defense tools other than speaking with a calm voice, orderly mind, and chain ideas, you may win the discussion.
Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels
Quick ways to make reading a routine habit in our lives
