Rostyslav Savchyn/Unsplash

Have you ever looked back at something you have said or done and realized that it contradicted something else you know about yourself? You may immediately feel compelled to dismiss the contradiction as not meaning anything. Or, you may assume that they both apply to you and that you need to spend some time seeking an explanation for how this is possible.

I feel like people, including me, have an urge to understand ourselves, and believe that having a stable identity is the way to master this. We settle on one set of beliefs, values, and preferences. We only allow this to change if it’s because we’re getting older and moving on from the past. We don’t turn back to who we used to be.

So what do we do when we uncover a discrepancy between our words, thoughts, and/or actions, and we know that it has nothing to do with getting older? We try to create excuses so we can justify it.

But rarely do we consider the simplest explanation: we can’t be ourselves all the time.

How can you maintain consistency through all states of mind? When you are scared, you’re going to perceive more threats than when you feel safe. When you’re exercising, you’re going to be using different parts of your brain than when you’re reading Medium. When you’re alone, you’re going to feel freer than when you’re around others. When you’re speaking in a second language, its distinct grammatical features will cause you to interpret the world differently than when you’re using your first language.

These are just a few examples, but there are many other examples of our minds behaving differently depending on the circumstances. Entering a new state of mind will make you interpret things differently, and this includes interpreting yourself differently.

This doesn’t mean that it’s time to give up on cultivating a consistent understanding of ourselves. Quite the opposite.

Suzanne D Williams/Unsplash

I’m just offering an idea of what it means to harmonize our own identities. It’s not about being true to ourselves. It’s about self-improvement. It’s about drawing a line from where we started (internal discord) to a more stable future personhood.

We can and should work on increasing the stability of our identities. But that’s the thing: we have to work at it. Our natural identity is by definition the one we have when we aren’t working on piecing it together. It’s the non-unified one.

I believe if one accepts that they are naturally inconsistent, they can get a better understanding of who they are as individuals. They would hold themselves accountable for things that they would have previously considered “not something I would have done.” They would open themselves to a wider range of experiences than they would in the past. They would understand that politicians are obviously going to be inconsistent when they’re unscripted.

But it’s an ambitious, somewhat unrealistic standard to obtain.

This article was originally published to Medium on October 13, 2022 (https://medium.com/illumination/lets-be-honest-human-identities-are-naturally-inconsistent-7bd490fb8aad?source=friends_link&sk=09e92b0659ee2b1af36caf5aeb764cc2).

#Philosophy #PhilosophyAndSelf #FindingYourself #IdentityFormation #Psychology

Discuss...

OpenAI

Is there any point to social media if it isn’t being used to communicate productively? Maybe this is why it feels so meaningless! By learning how to write respectful and civil comments on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Medium, you can make the most out of your online social experience.

One thing you can remember is that more people can see your online behavior than your offline behavior. This means that your social media comments have a greater impact on others. You can use this as a motivating factor. Just think about how it’s important not to waste the opportunity on squabbling and toxicity.

Second, social media moves at a slower pace than the real world, and you can use this to your advantage. You have the freedom to reread others’ comments or read them closer than you would in the physical world. You can also put lots of thought into your own comments and read them over before you’re finished. There’s no time limit.

Social media also has the benefit of being something you can return to later. If you’re at home and you see something that makes you angry, you can step away from the screen for a few minutes and let out all your energy by exercising, pacing, or doing anything you need to calm down. Then you can come back to your screen and respond to whatever it was that got you mad. Not only does this put you in a better position to make a positive contribution to an online discussion, but you’ll probably be able to release your emotions more fully through physical activity than through typing.

You may also want to begin your comment by clearly stating its purpose. This is the reason why most “serious” writing starts with an introductory paragraph. You probably don’t need a full paragraph for a social media comment (then again, you might), but why not at least have some sort of introductory sentence to communicate your intentions? It’s also helpful to make sure you know the purpose of the post you’re responding to. By avoiding miscommunication, the other person has less reason to respond aggressively.

My goal on Non-Monetized Together is to make posts that lead the comments section to exchange knowledge, honesty, support, and ideas. The tips in this article are my tools of the trade. They did an amazing job at making it easy to have a valuable online conversation. I hope they help make social media a more pleasant and enlightening experience for you.

This article was originally posted to Medium on December 20, 2022 (https://medium.com/illumination/thinking-before-you-send-a-guide-to-discipline-and-self-control-on-social-media-fbb7b7902eaf?source=friends_link&sk=deb1e35b1babfa6d549dcc7d465ed0c4).

#SocialMedia #SelfHelp #SocialSkills #SelfControl #Communication

Discuss...

gbarkz/Unsplash

I believe that when people are exposed to a concept or perspective they have never heard of before, their minds respond by forming new thoughts they never had before. It doesn’t matter whether or not they agree with the concept or perspective. Either way, it can get people’s mental wheels a-spinning, it can start a meaningful conversation, and it can take a portion of society into some bold new intellectual territory.

That’s what I will try to do with this article. In order to encourage a conversation, I will describe an idea that few have considered. Only when people mull the idea over and share their thoughts in the comments section will this article have any purpose. I don’t care about making you agree with me, I just want you to think for yourself about what I have to say.

Okay, here it is. Could the dominant type of food made by corporations be considered cultural cuisine? I’m referring to chain restaurants mostly. You could also include supermarket food, but I think you can make a stronger argument for chain restaurants. I’m not referring to food that is made for profit by people who maintain respect for food as a cultural form. I’m talking about food that was made solely as a means for profit. I personally prefer to think of it as cultural cuisine because it’s what I grew up with and what I’m used to, so I culturally identify with it.

The main reason why I think mainstream capitalist food could be cultural cuisine is that we can easily distinguish it from that of other cultures. It is often really flavourful but in a different way than other cultures. What I mean by this is that most examples of corporate food will only have one or two flavours at once, but they will be really intense flavours. This is different than regional cultural food, which will usually have a rich blend of simultaneous subtle flavours. However, capitalist food empires will sometimes let you customize your order so you can add a greater variety of flavours to your meal if you want.

Additionally, the food I grew up with is unique in its production process. It is made quickly, cheaply, and often frozen. Major capitalist food has its own distinct methods of packaging, which can include plastic wrap, Styrofoam containers, and cans, but considering how wasteful this is, we can be glad that not all mass-market food uses this packaging.

A potential opposing argument could be that this type of food was not formed from cultural conditions, but out of the economic condition of capitalism. The only reason corporate food has all these unique components is so it can create a maximum profit in the contemporary world. On the other hand, what makes non-corporate styles of food special is that they will usually be created out of passion, artistry, or to bring people together.

When a style of food is more attached to economic conditions than cultural conditions, it runs the risk of going extinct when the economic conditions change. If more people start viewing dominant corporate food as representative of a culture, maybe they would be more interested in preserving knowledge of these dishes when the current economic system gets replaced. If these people succeed, then this type of food will survive, but not at the hands of corporations that contribute to the obesity epidemic, the pollution crisis, and the limited availability of alternatives. This type of food will not be mass-produced, mass-promoted, or mass-marketed. Instead, my culture’s food would be made and eaten by individuals and small groups who are passionate about its ingredients, flavours, and ability to satisfy.

#Food #Culture #Economy #Capialism #OutsideTheBoxThinking

This article was originally published on Medium on April 20, 2023 (https://medium.com/illumination/could-mass-market-food-be-cultural-cuisine-80b488b69611?source=friends_link&sk=b36bd130bd2f1f3ae4389bf5ba4ccde8).

Discuss...

Mohammed Shahhosseini/Unsplash

Listen up if you feel unsatisfied despite getting a lot of likes, or if your failed attempts at online stardom have made it harder for you to enjoy the Internet, or if you simply want the Internet to provide some sort of meaning in your life!

Likes, views, and followers are not the only forms of online success out there. Instead of aiming for these more traditional examples of achievement, you may want to consider achieving “effect.”

What does this mean? I’m using “effect” to refer to non-measurable forms of influence that your post may have on your audience. Examples of effect include: the length of time viewers will remember your post, the impact your message will have on your audience’s worldviews or personalities, the role your post plays in your audience’s life decisions, and the effect all of this has on the people around them.

Keep in mind that effect does not just refer to whether your audience agrees with your views. I wouldn’t want to promote the overdone agenda-pushing and ideology exploitation that have been plaguing the Internet. If your online output prompts a viewer to disagree with you, feel emotions, learn something new, come up with an idea of their own, or form a resolution, then it would also be gaining effect.

Here are some ways to gain effect on the Internet. You don’t necessarily need to use all of them, but they all help.

1. Quotability

2. Being unique (this could include a unique communication style, perspective, topic, or feature)

3. Covering topics that are not commonly-discussed yet but could be in the future

4. Making your purpose clear from the start

5. Ignoring trending topics

6. Obtaining followers who are socially active online or offline

7. Being unpredictable

8. Learning to make peace with the fact that it’s impossible to know how much effect you create

Despite that last point potentially turning people away from this option, it’s great for people who want to use the Internet to feel like something more than the number next to their post. Technology has offered us incredible possibilities. It would be wise to act on them.

#List #Listicle #Influence #InternetTechnique #MakingADifference

This article was originally posted to Medium on July 31, 2022 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/check-out-this-brand-new-social-media-metric-ac15124fce51?source=friends_link&sk=8d55e45730f537b549212a74c38f62eb)

Discuss...

Photo from Kajetan Sumila/Unsplash

I am aware that Non-Monetized Together’s patient approach to online discussion isn’t exactly fashionable. A lot of people on the Internet seem to think “you can’t fix stupid” and use that as a justification to mock, provoke, and troll anybody who doesn’t understand their morals.

But I don’t see why we should treat these people any different than people who have been diagnosed with a mental disability. What’s the difference between idiot and a mentally challenged person? Well, for one thing, the latter has gotten a seal of distinction from a professional. But the second difference is that the words mental disability indicate some level of respect and understanding. When not used in a way that suggests otherwise, those words do not express the contempt that is conveyed by calling someone a moron. They instead suggest that the subject is not to blame for the way their mind works and that neurotypicals have no choice to tolerate the fact that this is the way they are.

These are the only two differences I can think of. One, idiots are not recognized as such by our institutions, and two, they are not respected for who they are. So, I decided to take inspiration from the disability rights movement and understand that maybe Internet morons are not deficient but are differently abled, that they require special needs, that they need patience and understanding. In fact, the terms idiot and moron were originally used to describe those who have a mental disability. If society can outgrow that dismissive, derogatory attitude towards the neurodivergent, I’m sure Non-Monetized Together can do the same with some of its more difficult participants.

#DisabilityRights #Internet #Communication #Respect #Stupidity #Kindness

This article was originally published to Medium on June 27, 2023 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/whats-the-difference-between-being-an-idiot-and-having-a-mental-disability-55ac496ed241?source=friends_link&sk=308ed3328e79b572547cd4217168b304)

Medium comments:

great commentary. These labels, informally derogatory or clinical, are often subjective based on personal experience, cultural norms, or fads.

Even the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders changes their classifications over time. I say their as it's still a publication by a group of academics from the American Psychiatric Association alleged to be influenced by the very powerful pharmaceutics industry.

In France for example, ASD (Autism) is frequently diagnosed as NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).

Here in N.America, NPD can only be diagnosed in adolescence. NPD doesn't require medication to my knowledge, but ASD could (Intuniv).

Labels are false reassurance but are inclusive (in their own communities) unlike moron which isolates, socially.

What do you think?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5

Turi Sue

I think this might be the first comment I received (for articles in this publication) that added something new to the discussion, which is great. That means you're using the community the way it's supposed to be (though, I recently decided I won't clap for comments on my own articles to challenge the idea of “author as authority”).

In the real world, you need a diagnosis to get the treatment you need to function. The treatment can also be expensive. In Non-Monetized Together, my goal is to communicate with people in a way that leads to the best result, every time. Even if it means being more patient with them than elsewhere on the Internet. I want them to be heard!

For those on the losing side in society, labels can sometimes be false reassurance, but I hope Non-Monetized Together will not only be inclusive, but equitable. Then it can fulfill the ideals promised by medical labels but only offered to a few – giving people the support they need to succeed.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Thank Kevin.

I'm actually new to Medium. I set up my account years ago but have only started using it recently. Right now I'm trying to get a “feel” for what works and what doesn't. I'm not a member yet and haven't applied for any monetization. Is there any benefit to remaining like this other than ideological? If I understand it, you have created a group that resists the money-making incentive for folks to interact.

Is this right?

Turi Sue

Yeah, there are many positives to not monetizing. I wouldn't call them ideology-related, they are more about trying to make the blog operate differently and achieve things that other blogs can't. But there's also personal benefits like not being pressured to earn enough money.

Good luck with your Medium articles.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

I almost forgot to ask you, could you please provide some evidence for the statement you made about how France and North America diagnose people? I have to make sure all posts on Non-Monetized Together back up their claims.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Kevin, I reached out to Sam Vaknin to get his opinion on your links:

https://vaknin-talks.com/

BTW it was him that alerted me to the possible misdiagnosis of ASD as NPD and vica versa, I forgot to mention this to you.

Although Vaknin is a physicist (I believe), he has written numerous books on NPD. He also lists himself as a WHO consultant (?)

Hopefully, he'll answer me, but many times these “experts” don't reply directly, but rather indirectly through a YT lecture.

Stay tuned....

S.T.

Turi Sue

Thank you for letting me know.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

---

Hi Kevin. Personal experience and available literature.

My daughter was diagnosed with NPD in France at the age of 6. When we moved to North America, the diagnostic experts at McGill University (Dr Guile) and Dr Klein of the Douglas Institute who are experts in their field, told me that NPD is only diagnosed in adolescence in North America, and that she possibly has Asperger's rather than NPD as her brother was born with Asperger's.

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder

https://www.mcgill.ca/psychiatry/clinical-care/dmhui

https://www.quebecmedecin.com/medecin/medecin-guile-jean-marc-14347.htm

I don't remember the name of the doctor in France that performed the two day evaluation. To find out it has to be officially requested through government medial portals.

-S.T

Turi Sue

It looks like the ICD no longer lists NPD as a diagnosis, so the French medical industry has likely moved on from that.

https://bpded.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40479-022-00182-0

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6206910/

Kevin the Nonmonetized

ps. am testing out this membership thing to see if it really makes a difference. I checked my stats as a non-member last week and there were 50 suspicious claps on each of 3 posts. Who or what is putting exactly 50 claps. Not 59 nor 51 but 50. Fishy.

Turi Sue

By the way, I'm a member and I still get very suspicious stats. I had one article get about 100 views in one day and zero reads. This came out of nowhere. Ever since then, the article has gotten exactly one view almost every day.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

hmm. So being a member will not clear that up.

Turi Sue

Tell me if these links work. They should hopefully contain evidence that the stats are wonky.



Kevin the Nonmonetized

---

Isn't 50 claps the maximum that one person can give?

Kevin the Nonmonetized

a posted poem got 91, so I don't know about that. But you said something interesting.: “that one person can give”

Turi Sue

Were those 91 claps from one person?

Kevin the Nonmonetized

---

They may not have, Kevin. Moving on may not happen as fast as that.

Cultural biases or tendencies of a country towards a condition or PD diagnosis don't evaporate as soon as the literature is modified esp. by the WHO. It takes a while for the population to catch up incl. the front-line medical practitioners.

I didn't see any reference to the question of age in the links you sent, unless I missed it.

But it appears the WHO dictates the international criteria for the diagnosis regardless of cultural biases. What did come across is the importance of self-perception in the diagnosis of \ PD.

As a 6-year-old's personality is not fully developed, they cannot be given this diagnosis.

Interesting debate although the tip of the iceberg.

Turi Sue

Fair enough. I guess at that point it’s not something that can be proven as much as perceived.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Discuss...

Mabel Amber/Pixabay

This was originally posted to Medium on January 30, 2023 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/im-grateful-that-i-don-t-need-to-pay-for-the-latest-smartphones-9059d7b26f57?source=friends_link&sk=cad96657daccf2cd61b17ebc763d4d65)

#Budget #Thankful #Laptop #Phone #Technology

Only using old smartphones has made my life so much easier. I’m grateful I noticed this opportunity when it was still available for me.

Part of it has to do with the cost factor, as I can use old smartphones for free. I’m saving many hundreds of dollars here. This helps me feel much more set for life. By not purchasing new phones, I also use fewer resources and help save the planet.

Another benefit is that these phones have minimal value if you already own a laptop. I would feel double-charged if I bought the latest phone because my computer can already do most of the stuff a smartphone can do. This also means I can use a smartphone past its due date since I don’t even have to be using all its features. For example, I try not to use my out-of-date phone data for things like Internet browsing and downloading. I do most of that on my laptop instead. Usually, the only times I need to use data on my phone are for basic things like two-factor authentication, tickets, and QR codes.

Other than that, smartphones are only good for instant messaging, calls, taking photos and videos, and doing calculations. All of this you can do on an old phone. So I would say, I’m pretty glad not to waste my money on up-to-date phones.

I will give a shoutout to @kobevlemings and his article The Top 7 Most Overpriced Apple Products of All Time.

Discuss...

Source: DALL-E

This was originally posted to Medium on May 19, 2023 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/want-to-have-fewer-toxic-online-discussions-work-on-writing-without-a-rough-draft-6d30bfe32500?source=friends_link&sk=dd7e0c163d05b4d1b14d32e769257ff2)

#WritingOnSocialMedia #SocialMediaEtiquette #TheEducationSystem #InternetDiscussion #InternetComments

How We Communicate Online Is Important

Today’s world is mostly shaped by what people say on the Internet. Even though it is hard to find trustworthy statistics on social media scope and usage, anybody can see that it has become the norm for people to use social media. Almost all decisions people make in the physical world are influenced by the media either directly or indirectly, with social media being one of the most-consumed forms of media. From this we can see that much of our lives are shaped by what we see on social media.

Especially important are discussion-centred platforms like Facebook or Twitter. Yet many have noticed that Internet comments tend to be more toxic than other forms of communication. Because of the way social media leaves its marks on other areas of society, this is very concerning and could possibly lead to a dystopian society.

The reason I joined Medium was because I noticed that I am one of the few people who lean toward co-operation and civility when I’m typing out comments. I knew that I could resist the negative influence of online comments by starting an online community centred around freeing others from these influences.

Ignoring Advice From School

How am I able to consistently keep my online posts in check? By ignoring a piece of writing advice that I was told all the time at school — to make a rough draft of my essay before writing a clean draft.

I thought it would be a waste of time to rewrite an essay like that, so I always began writing my essays in full sentences and paragraphs. Then I would re-read it a few times, and once I couldn’t find any new ways to improve it, I would hand it in. Most of my assignments were essays, so I would get a lot of experience with this method, and it would become the natural way I would write when typing on a computer.

Positive Results

This helped me behave more appropriately online because it turned writing into a very deliberate, careful, slow process for me. Because I didn’t have a rough draft to refer to, I had to put a lot of thought into how I chose my words and phrased my sentences so I could get a good grade on the essay. Since I spent so much time writing in school, it ended up characterizing how I write whenever I use a computer keyboard. Now when I type a comment on the Internet, I find it extremely difficult to write anything without pausing every few seconds to consider what I am going to say next. I always feel an urge to type and retype parts of sentences before choosing the option that sounds the best. If I ever get a job where I need to type messages quickly, I might have to break this habit, in which case I would create a writing template I can look at while typing my message.

However, when I am communicating online, my writing habit ensures that I won’t send many regrettable, impulsive posts to devices around the world. Instead, I can communicate on the Internet clearly and productively because I learned how to write carefully without a rough draft.

Conclusion

In order to fix the problem of toxic online discussion spaces, the education system must teach students to write without a rough draft. If you’re in school and you care about this issue, maybe you can try avoiding rough drafts to see how it goes. The more you use this method, the better you will get at it. Not only can it help you be a better writer on social media, but you might make a more beneficial influence on society too.

Discuss...

Here is a more up-to-date version of this article: https://write.as/non-monetized-together/10-facts-that-will-mess-with-your-sense-of-time-2024-version

This article was originally published to Non-Monetized Together on May 26, 2023 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/14-facts-that-will-mess-with-your-concept-of-time-ddfee51bae22?source=friends_link&sk=2378eff6d3d55d802d284c3f0e94d5f6)

#Facts #Lists #Bizarre #History #Aging

Image from DALL-E 2

1. The day Amazon opened (July 16, 1995) is closer to the first Moon landing by astronauts (July 20, 1969) than it is to now.

2. Amy Winehouse’s album Frank (October 23, 2003) was released closer to Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA (June 4, 1984) than now.

3. The first live-action Transformers movie was released (June 28, 2007) closer to the release date of Batman Returns (June 19, 1992) than today.

4. Charlie Chaplin (died December 25, 1977) was alive to see [Star Wars](https://www.boxofficemojo.com/title/tt0076759/?ref=boser1) (released May 25, 1977).

5. The first 3D movie came out in the silent era.

6. Fauja Singh ran a marathon at the age of 100. If F Scott Fitzgerald, the author of The Great Gatsby, ran a marathon at the age of 100, he would have done it in 1996.

7. Singh is still alive today at the age of 112 (or at least I can’t find any news of his death), which is like if Fitzgerald was alive in 2008.

Image from DALL-E 2

8. iCarly’s first episode (September 8, 2007) is closer to Bill Nye the Science Guy’s first episode (1993) than today.

9. The longest-lasting active lightbulb (installed in 1901) has outlived the oldest living person (born in 1907).

10. The “apparently kid” video (August 4, 2014) was posted closer to the upload date of the “I like turtles” video (June 11, 2007) than to now.

11. Pablo Picasso (died April 9, 1973) and Eminem (born October 17, 1972) were alive at the same time.

12. Dick van Dyke (born December 13, 1925) was born before Martin Luther King Jr (January 15, 1929).

13. Daft Punk’s album Homework (January 20, 1997) was released closer to John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band’s self-titled album (December 11, 1970) than today.

14. The games company Nintendo was formed in 1889, 16 years before the modern-day push-up was introduced.

Medium comments:

Here's an extra one: Nelly's Country Grammar was released closer to the date of Elvis's death than today.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Discuss...

Image from DALL-E 2

This article was originally published to Non-Monetized Together on May 7, 2023 (https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/this-common-internet-practice-embodies-most-of-the-worst-legal-aspects-of-internet-culture-3ddd45ab6a6a?source=friends_link&sk=be8461f903c8dc0430be1ccfe48dacf9)

#SocialMedia #Censorship

Hey, it’s Kevin here again, and this post today is going to be a bit different than my usual posts, since it is in point-form.

Have you ever seen a piece of media that seems like the perfect representation of something? You know, something that perfectly conveys a time, place, or attitude.

Well, I think I came up with the thing that conveys the failures of the Internet like no other. I’m talking about when people censor screen names in screen captures of publicly available web posts.

Of course, online privacy must be respected when it comes to private, deleted, or restricted-access posts. It would be dangerous and unfair for someone to be publicly identified with something that they didn’t intend the world to see.

However, this logic goes out the window when people cover up the screen names in publicly accessible posts. Despite this, it is still commonly practiced today, and many of the method’s weaknesses also happen to be in vogue with the current Internet.

Here’s a list of them:

· Missing out on the context of posts

· Toxicity (as people have more freedom to make hurtful comments if the name is not shown)

· Forgetting the human

· No citations

· Not giving individuals a voice

· Not holding people accountable for their actions

· Logical fallacy (their name is already available on the original source. You’re not undoing that by covering it up, so it’s kind of pointless)

· Judging a group by an individual member (you can’t know the person if the name is censored but sometimes you can figure out a group that they are a part of and judge that)

· Capitalizing off someone else’s work

· Removing the context from the screenshot can help push an inaccurate narrative

And in cases where people only censor the name if the original poster is not well-known, it can reinforce inequality between levels of social status.

Next time you see an image of a publicly available post with the name censored, try to remember to not let the image encourage you to behave in the ways I just listed. You can also try searching the post in quotation marks on a search engine.

Discuss...