Non-Monetized Together #svalien

So now that Nonmonetized Together is affiliated with the decadeology community, I’ve found it fit to write this article about older members who dismiss younger members’ perspectives. Some of the older members’ complaints don’t apply to younger people so it doesn’t make sense to tell the youth that their perspective is wrong.

This article could also be relevant to non-decadeologists if they participate in other online communities. But my examples in this article will be related to decadeology.

For example, the argument that “you can’t pin an era range down to a month” is ignorant of contemporary technology.

Back in the 90s, yes, this was true because only newsworthy events were documented. But you couldn’t track developing attitudes, cultural movements, and trends because these things evolved through mundane activities such as attendings events, talking to people, and buying things. Or to give even a more mundane example, just having a thought. Sometimes we have thoughts that change the way we live our lives.

But now these “unassuming” signs of cultural development are tracked on social media and timestamped down to the minute. Because of this, we can now follow the development of stories like the Capital storming or the ChatGPT developments in real time. Or we can see how political narratives develop. All of this is possible with the help of advanced search functions, trending feeds, and data such as Google Trends. This approach is used by KnowYourMeme to track memes and, yes, news stories as well.

Then there will be oldheads who will look at a thread that’s done in the style of “decadeology anarchy” and respond, “you sound weird even asking that question.” Which I would think most young users would already know, except maybe the very youngest users. The older members don’t see how the Internet has become the perfect spot for niche communities to form, and how newer niche communities differ from older ones.

Non-mainstream online communities have been a thing for as long as the Internet existed, but they really became a lot more commonplace and sustainable in the past few years. Now we’re at the point where it’s hard to even tell what counts as mainstream and what counts as underground. Everybody’s their own bubble. You couldn’t say that back in 2004.

Plus even the niche communities in the early days of the Internet were kind of uniform because most of them would consist of news, debates, artwork, surveys, rants, memes, discussions of the site itself, and an off-topic section. They could all be somewhat recognizable to outsiders.

Whereas here in 2024, the Internet could gather enough people to start r/decadeologyanarchy, a niche of a niche where people are free to abandon social conventions completely and make posts that would sound strange in real-life conversation, like year-by-year breakdowns or “images that give them the same vibes as 2014.”

So when you say, “that’s not a sane discussion topic,” you should know that this is the very reason that you’re seeing it on Reddit and not offline or on websites their IRL friends would see. This is also why the decadeology anarchy posts are appropriate for Nonmonetized Together, because it’s an environment where you can create your own social norms.

Then you have the comments that accuse people of being subjective. Like, they often show up whenever the community does year comparisons, or when they make a post about how good a year was, or when they make a post about how bad a year was.

People fail to realize that the whole point of decadeology is to be subjective — that’s the difference between decadeology and history. It’s interesting to see other people’s personal subjective perspectives because we get to learn how they experience the world over the years.

So I am interested in the older members’ personal perspectives but it’s not fair to use that to attack other people’s perspectives. They’re no less biased than anybody else.

This article is also available at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/some-of-the-older-members-of-the-decadeology-community-could-be-more-self-aware-f114804e2cae

Discuss...

#Internet #GettingOlder #OnlineCommunity #Decadeology #Reddit

Picture from tonny huang/Unsplash

This article can also be viewed at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/implementing-writer-jim-irions-ideas-into-nonmonetized-together-8920419d8178

Nonmonetized Together is an online community where people share their ideas to inform the actions of the community members. Jim has shared a lot of knowledge about autism with Nonmonetized Together, so I will look through his articles and see how I can implement that knowledge into the Nonmonetized Together landscape. I will then send this article to him and ask for his feedback before publishing.

“Psychology and psychiatry still have difficulty defining what autism is. As a result of this being true, autism acceptance will not happen within the foreseeable future unless we deal with these problems together at their source” – We Need Everyone.

Takeaway: Some Nonmonetized Together users may live in an area where their neurotype, disability, or mental health situation is not well understood. This means that when we interact with each other, we should make sure not to evaluate people’s responses based on societal expectations. For example, we should not act with the assumption that people are neurotypical, nor should we act with the assumption that they are neurodivergent. Instead, we should take both possibilities into consideration even when the person hasn’t (yet) disclosed their situation. In addition, we can contribute to discussions by frequently mentioning how the discussion topic relates to neurodiversity, disability, or mental health. This way, Nonmonetized Together contributors can help each other be mindful of these topics.

“Again, society needs a stark reminder that autistic people are being stripped of their humanity and identified as a set of labels. We are still being defined as high-functioning or disabled” – To Be Or Not To Be Autistic.

Takeaway: There’s nothing wrong with giving a nuanced description of yourself in your Nonmonetized Together posts. Don’t feel pressured to reduce yourself to a label for the sake of simplicity. You’ll be accepted as who you are, not your label.

Also, this relates to something I realized when writing my last article. Using the word “they” is very dehumanizing in situations where “someone” or “one/some/all/any of them” would be more applicable. I will try to avoid using “they” in these situations. This allows me to dramatically sharpen readers’ abilities to understand each other while being subtle enough that I won’t be attacked for being woke. However, if I’m responding to someone who is using the word “they” when other options could be better, I might I have to use the same wording to make the conversation easier to follow.

“One month later, in September, I received [the health provider’s] response [to a presentation Jim did about how to respond to autistic needs]. I was supposed to email their recruitment help services to discuss accommodations with filling out written job applications. They ignored what I presented about cross-neurotype communication issues, the inadequacies of generalized mental healthcare, and my potential to enhance autism research as a primary source. I had no choice but to stand my ground.” – Journey of Accommodation, Part 3.

Takeaway: I will always give users additional chances to explain themselves if they don’t feel like I understood them. I will be willing to accept that I misunderstood what they were trying to say. I will not give up until both of us can agree that I grasped what they were saying.

“Those who are not autistic need to accept that society is designed with your neurotype in mind. Every single day, we have to mask and blend in just to manage our mental health, maintain employment, and avoid a wide range of conflicts. Some of which end in social isolation, bullying, suicide, depression, discrimination, or death. Some of these still happen to us anyway, regardless of what we try to do to avoid them.” – The Divide That Determines Our Future, Part 8

Takeaway: Remember, when you’re using Nonmonetized Together to discuss a topic with someone, you’re not just talking with that one person. You’re having a discussion that can be seen by people all over the world. Don’t give up the conversation just because the other person doesn’t understand. Maybe someone else reading the conversation can join in and help the two of you see eye to eye. To make it obvious, you can ask, “does anybody else here understand what I’m talking about?” Even if nobody joins in, remember that other readers may benefit from your comments.

“The soothing sound of George Harrison’s song “Cloud Nine” playing over the radio. The sweet smell of marigold flowers on a summer day. The soft touch of a satin-trimmed blanket between my fingers. The mouth-watering taste of a traditional Italian Stromboli. Or the vibrant color of green I would see during springtime. While I paid closer attention to these simple and positive sensory experiences, I became more aware of myself and my feelings.” – The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Takeaway: You can enhance your articles with embedded videos. Make sure to write descriptions of the videos for people who are unable to completely experience them. You can be creative and include other multisensory enhancers in your article too. For example, you can suggest that readers experience a certain scent when reading articles. They shouldn’t be mandatory though!

Do you want to help make Nonmonetized Together a supportive community? Share your ideas by writing some responses or posts. You might see some of us start spreading your knowledge in the future, like I did with Jim’s ideas in this article!

Discuss...

#Inclusivity #Writing #Autism #SocialMedia #Neurodivergence

Photo from Sarah Ardin/Unsplash

Article also available at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/protecting-ourselves-from-totalitarian-movements-on-the-internet-c1fcad23db63.

What This Article Is About

Nonmonetized Together – an environment on Medium and write.as that promotes open dialogue, empowerment, personal development, and access to knowledge. A place where nobody is under pressure to be perfect. A world where you can take a breather from the political chaos on the rest of the Internet, where you can listen to and learn from each other instead of dunking on each other. A space where articles are phrased in a way that makes them useful for participants in a variety of ways, depending on each participant’s worldview.

But what if a Nonmonetized Together visitor’s worldviews involve forcefully taking these experiences away from people? How can participants successfully defend themselves from these movements while staying true to the values of Nonmonetized Together?

This is a topic we absolutely need to discuss because I believe that ordinary people deserve the same privileges as academic sociologists, but this would require the use of methods designed to prevent tyranny and hate. Firstly, anybody who tries to use Nonmonetized Together to silence opposition using force will be banned immediately. I’ll call these movements “first-degree totalitarianism.” But what about someone who is in favour of totalitarian ideas but also willing to act fairly on Nonmonetized Together? In this case, the goal would be to allow this person to participate the community while being careful that they don’t escalate into first-degree totalitarianism. Note that a movement doesn’t need to promote totalitarian beliefs to use first-degree totalitarian methods.

In this article, you and I will come up with ideas to prevent first-degree totalitarianism from taking over Nonmonetized Together. The ideas I will share are untested, so I’m going to run them by you and see what you think. Then, if I get a chance, I will try them out to see if they work. These ideas will be presented in a special format I created where I present the background info first, then the idea, then the supporting evidence. This will be done to prevent people from misinterpreting the background info as supporting evidence and vice versa.

Get Involved

Viktor Forgacs/Unsplash

But before I begin describing them, you should know that I would also love to hear your ideas on how to overcome totalitarianism. You might want to read up on Nonmonetized Together so you can get a sense of whether it is the best place to implement your plans. Or if you want, you can just wing it and not read up on us. Either way, I will send you a response telling you whether Nonmonetized Together can implement your plans and why/why not.

Here are some articles that can help guide your understanding of the community (choose whatever article you feel like reading):

(About Our Blog) Tired of Internet Drama and Fakeness? This Community Can Help With That.

8 Things I Can Only Do Here On Nonmonetized Together.

Why I Added #Svalien to the Nonmonetized Together Title.

How This Online Community Fights Against the Stigma of Mental Illness.

Worried About Political Interests On Nonmonetized Together?

This Common Internet Practice Embodies Most of the Worst (Legal) Aspects of Internet Culture.

This Blog’s Comment Sections Will Make You Feel Significant.

Check Out This Brand-New Social Media Metric.

Keep in mind that Nonmonetized Together is a community based off of norms, not rules, so nothing in the above articles are set in stone. This means that if you see a Nonmonetized Together guideline that presents a problem for implementing your anti-totalitarian ideas, you can try writing a comment that makes a case for the guideline to be changed. If you can show that your ideas can be successful in relation to Nonmonetized Together’s context, I can update the norms to include your ideas. But just because a discursive strategy is successful in the greater society or the political sphere, doesn’t mean it will be successful on Nonmonetized Together. The strategies that are useful here are different.

Background info for idea #1:

See introduction.

Idea #1:

Anybody who uses Nonmonetized Together to forcefully silence opposition and/or spread information designed to create unrest will be banned immediately once we find out.

Supporting evidence for idea #1:

We need users to feel that first-degree totalitarian methods are counterproductive on Nonmonetized Together. By having zero tolerance for these methods, Nonmonetized Together can achieve its goal of being an environment that makes up for the unequal power relations in the greater society. Totalitarianism, on the other hand, causes inequality. By protecting itself from totalitarian movements, Nonmonetized Together allows users to share and receive information that could give members strength and agency.

Background info for idea #2:

Nonmonetized Together has its own unique set of norms, different than that of the rest of social media, and painstakingly designed to promote responsible free speech without falling into the same traps that ruined other free-speech websites. By operating on norms instead of rules, any Nonmonetized Together user gets to interact in a way that directly transforms the existing norms that have gotten society in this deep mess of stressful unproductive discussion. This makes it possible for a non-totalitarian to share knowledge that can challenge a supporter (not actor) of totalitarianism without either person feeling threatened enough to retaliate.

In my attempt to create new norms that can allow Internet users to create a better future, I have studied social media discussions for hundreds of hours, wondering how they could have been handled better. My autism allows me to pinpoint problematic social behaviour that most people take for granted. On top of that, the autism supports I received growing up allowed me to realize the importance of providing personalized support to people who want to do things right but who fail to do so. I am motivated by the possibility that there may not be another chance for people to band together and make a better Internet. Without Nonmonetized Together, our future could be in the hands of whoever can make people the most anxious about the future.

Idea #2:

Because of this context, nobody who states support of totalitarian ideas will be removed from the community without them doing first-degree totalitarianism.

Supporting evidence for idea #2:

This allows anti-totalitarians to take advantage of the fact that unlike the rest of the Internet, this is a safe social landscape devoted to listening and learning, and anti-totalitarians can use that to engage in dialogue that could point totalitarians to safer paths. By understanding the suffering that totalitarian beliefs inflict on totalitarians, anti-totalitarians can encourage peace and tolerance in a way that totalitarians will understand. Participants may receive direct knowledge from a totalitarian about what caused them to take such extreme approaches, and since this is an environment based off listening and learning, we can use this information to solve the issues that led people to choose totalitarianism. These opportunities just aren’t available elsewhere on the mainstream Internet due to censorship, as well as the fact that most people on the Internet would rather act hysterical than try to get along with each other. However, Nonmonetized Together uses free speech to resist radicalization instead of welcoming radicalization, so I hope that we won’t get censored by Medium or write.as.

I’m aware that free speech has contributed to online radicalization in the past, but I also realize that if I block and ignore viewpoints that need improvement, then I’ll just be shifting the responsibility of handling these problems to future generations. And if we continue to ignore the problem, then these generations will be more powerless than present generations, and will have a harder time fighting against these movements! By blocking and ignoring totalitarian ideas, society is leaving it up to totalitarians to solve the problem on their own. Guys, society’s putting fascists in charge of ending fascism! And people wonder why many of us feel unsafe.

Background info for idea #3:

A movement can use first-degree totalitarian methods to promote non-totalitarian messages. Nonmonetized Together is committed to wiping out all first-degree totalitarianism completely.

Idea #3:

I want to hold all first-degree totalitarian movements to the same standards regardless of the movement’s message.

Supporting info for idea #3:

If Nonmonetized Together readers think that I am being partial to one group of people, this could lead to unnecessary conflict. To avoid this, I will hold everyone to the same standards.

Background info for idea #4:

Here on Nonmonetized Together, nobody benefits from forces of power. Community members instead benefit from respect, listening, and fairness.

How do I manage this? By only approving articles that set a tone of cooperativity and solutions, making the comment section mostly free speech, and then guiding the conversations into more productive directions when things go awry. By doing this, I can implicitly set norms and standards for readers’ responses, and these norms and standards can be more civil than that of the rest of the Internet. This means that while a reader can have the freedom to reply what they want, I can set a precedent as to how they comment and for what purpose, without being forceful about it.

The most important goal on Nonmonetized Together is to accurately understand what people are trying to say. We just need to say exactly what we mean and make sure readers know that. We can do this by explaining our points clearly, logically, and literally enough to erase any concerns of double meaning. We can start comments with “let me know if I understand correctly…” and then clarify. To avoid conflict, we can start off our responses by finding common ground with the other person before getting into disagreements.

Idea #4:

When I see someone who says something in favour of totalitarianism without using first-degree totalitarianism, I will tell the commenter even though they may feel the need to use first-degree totalitarianism in the outside world, that need will never be as strong as on Nonmonetized Together. I will use the information in this idea’s background to explain how this is done, and then I will invite the totalitarian to discuss the issues that pushed them in that direction, so we can actually work towards solving these problems.

Supporting evidence for idea #4:

If somebody goes down the wrong trail and gets lost, you don’t let that person fend for themselves, you need to contact them. Same thing here. You can’t expect to solve societal problems by leaving the problem up to the person who is causing them. We need to put politics aside, form alliances with these people, and give each one a chance to explain their situation, so none of them have to use violence or threats to find a solution.

Background info for idea #5:

Nonmonetized Together has its own unique set of norms, different than that of the rest of social media, and painstakingly designed to promote responsible free speech without falling into the same traps that ruined other free-speech websites. By operating on norms instead of rules, any Nonmonetized Together user gets to interact in a way that directly transforms the existing norms that have gotten society in this deep mess of stressful unproductive discussion. This makes it possible for a non-totalitarian to share knowledge that can challenge a supporter (not actor) of totalitarianism without either party feeling threatened enough to retaliate.

One way you can show a user that you’re not out to get them is to be grateful whenever one of them notices a hole in your logic. Eagerly view it as a tool for growth. This may allow them to see you’re being cooperative, not competitive. Even if they’re wrong about there being a hole in your logic, you don’t need to get defensive. You can correct them, but you can tell them you appreciate their effort.

Idea #5:

When using Nonmonetized Together to communicate with others, you might want to try showing them that you’re not out to get them.

Supporting evidence for idea #5:

It’s very important that Nonmonetized Together is a non-confrontational environment. This can be achieved by acting non-confrontational. By reducing conflict, totalitarianism can be made unnecessary on Nonmonetized Together. If a reader makes a response that misinterprets your post as an attack, it’s best to de-escalate the situation right away. Listen, the reader probably isn’t doing this just to be mean. The reader likely made that response because they view you as a threat.

Background info for idea #6:

Where and how do we find cases of first-degree totalitarianism? We need a method that will not create fear and distrust among the community.

Idea #6:

My suggestion is to do some non-confrontational inspections wherever we see something that may suggest a first-degree totalitarian movement. This would involve asking users questions that will determine whether they are innocent or guilty.

Supporting info for idea #6:

If we word these inspections carefully, we can make it so people know we’re not trying to be aggressive. Maybe a participant can begin their comments by saying they respect the non-totalitarian parts of their post but then mention that they are “concerned” about the part that appears totalitarian, saying “I just noticed what might be a problem” with the post. Non-totalitarian participants can tell them that we want their movement to do as much as good as it can, but that there are a few things it needs to do first before the people behind the movement can start benefitting.

Background info for idea #7:

Sometimes we may run into a participant who is not interested in contributing to productive discussion or helping other participants grow. I don’t want to censor them, but I also don’t want them to turn Nonmonetized Together into a cesspool. What can we do to discourage them from contributing to the community?

Idea #7:

Maybe we can tell the troublemaker something that would scare them off from the community. By “scaring them off,” I don’t mean “say something that would make them angry”, I mean “say something that’s so honest that they would socially alienate you in response.” Ideally, it should be something about the community that they may find off-putting.

Supporting evidence for idea #7:

These people can only bring trouble to Nonmonetized Together, so don’t worry if many of them want nothing to do with us. By making responses that cause feelings of discomfort, we get to reinforce Nonmonetized Together’s nonsugarcoated identity in the process.

Conclusion

Nonmonetized Together is not for everybody. Participants need to be brave enough to investigate the cracks in society that have led some people to disturbing life pathways. But people have engineered online social spaces to create division, alienation, and paranoia, so Nonmonetized Together can use social engineering to undo the damage.

Discuss...

#Peace #Power #Communication #HateMovements #Internet

Earliest Mars Bar Video on YouTube: mb, uploaded by jaaney, January 26, 2006.

This was the only video jaaney posted to YouTube and for some reason they chose this one. Just two people trying a deep-fried Mars Bar.

Earliest M&Ms video on YouTube: Blue m&m’s, uploaded by mrquigley, November 8, 2005. (Contains Adult Content).

I’m only two videos in and I think I already have a contender for “the candy in this article that is used most creatively for its earliest YouTube video.” This is a main reason why I thought this article would be interesting, because you can never know what you’ll find when you’re searching for the earliest YouTube videos on certain topics.

As the description says, “X-men man thing likes his candy only to discover his mom is a pedophile..” If you thought this would be a respectful, sensitive video about pedophilia, you were wrong.

Earliest Kit Kat video on YouTube: Counting Kit Kats, uploaded by Michlitsch, October 31, 2005.

A family home video that involves counting Kit Kats.

Earliest Reese’s Pieces video on YouTube: President Bush Seeks Advice — E.T., uploaded by BrendanBrendan, May 9, 2006.

I can’t make out what ET says in response to Bush’s question about illegal aliens.

Earliest Hershey’s video on YouTube: Hershey’s cupcake, uploaded by beccanorman, November 7, 2005.

This video is of someone ordering getting a giant Hershey’s cupcake with chocolate pieces sticking out. Looks like a mess.

Earliest Snickers video on YouTube: GRAB A SNICKERS, uploaded by Georgina Acebedo, November 24, 2005.

This seven-second video is about how you can put Snickers bars in between your boobs. There isn’t really anything in this video that isn’t given away in the thumbnail.

Earliest Milky Way video on YouTube: Why so blue Panda Bear?, uploaded by kinhova, April 7, 2006.

I’m surprised this article didn’t include any commercials until now.

Earliest Oh Henry video on YouTube: ow henry, uploaded by josive, February 19, 2006.

What is this even.

Earliest Twix video on YouTube: rizzo doesn’t like twix, uploaded by sh8dbrady, December 8, 2005.

A video of kids fooling around with a Twix bar.

Earliest Maltesers video on YouTube: “malteser madness,” uploaded by ragdolls100, March 5, 2006.

This video captures “the Malteser game,” a game in which two players sit on opposite sides of a chair with a Malteser in the middle. The purpose is to blow it off the chair so it lands on your opponent’s side. It sounds fun but the game usually takes five seconds (at most) to finish.

Want to look up early YouTube videos yourself? You can do this by specifying your date range in the search bar. To find videos earlier than a specific date, use the format before:yyyy-mm-dd in the search bar. So if you want to look at videos from before February 18, 2006, you type “before:2006–02–18”. You can also search for videos from after a specific date using the format after:yyyy-mm-dd.

Article is also available here: https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/10-oldest-surviving-youtube-videos-for-10-different-chocolate-bars-d57ae90cce12.

#2000s #YouTube #Chocolate #Internet #Brands

Discuss...

Medium Comments:

I enjoyed watching these videos.

Chaudhry Writes

Thank you!

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Personal image

This article is also available at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/10-facts-that-will-mess-with-your-sense-of-time-2024-version-5a2898e9faa2.

1. In five weeks, Jennifer Lopez will be old enough to order off the senior’s menu at Applebee’s.

2. Gordie Howe’s NHL career started before Bobby Orr was born and ended after Orr made it to the Hockey Hall of Fame

3. Alexander Graham Bell could have eaten at A&W.

4. The world’s oldest living person, Maria Branyas, was born in 1907, which means she was already 19 years old when Buster Keaton’s The General, was released.

5. Harriet Tubman and Bing Crosby were alive at the same time.

6. Gloria Swanson could have watched MTV.

7. The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross premiered on January 11, 1983, closer to the release of Dumbo than today.

8. Caitlyn Jenner was born closer to the invention of sneakers than today.

9. Pope Francis was born before the invention of the helicopter.

10. Mark Ronson is 48 years old, one year older than Barack Obama was when he became president.

Also, this isn’t related to the article, but if you Google how AI works, the top results are all from AI startups, and it takes a while until you find results from more balanced sources. Just goes to show how useless Google is becoming.

#History #FunFacts #Listicle #List #PopCulture

Discuss...

You can also view this article at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/i-identify-with-all-16-mbti-personality-types.

Purple:

Architect — when I’m writing an essay for school.

Logician — when I’m designing the Nonmonetized Together social structure.

Commander — when I’m working on a group project.

Debater — when I’m with my friends.

Green:

Advocate — when I’m writing a blog post.

Mediator — when I’m struggling to hold a conversation.

Protagonist — when I’m taking a selfie.

Campaigner — when I’m on an online dating site.

Blue:

Logistician — when I’m at work.

Defender — when I’m trying to console someone.

Executive — when I’m in class.

Consul — when I’m meeting someone for the first time.

Yellow:

Virtuoso — when I’m training for an interview.

Adventurer — when I’m somewhere new.

Entrepreneur — when I’m lonely.

Entertainer — my internal thoughts.

This is why I don’t take MBTI seriously.

#Personality #Psychology #Identity #MBTI

Discuss...

I do have many articles saying I’m opposed to “politics” and that Nonmonetized Together is “not political.” Now I realized that’s not a good way to describe it because I do have values and use them to make people live better lives. 

Over the next little while I will look at the articles where I attack politics and replace that with “competitive politics,” because I think that’s the real problem and what I meant to say.

I felt I had to make a post about this because of how integral it is to the Nonmonetized Together context.

Picture from Caroline Veronez/Unsplash

This article can also be viewed at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/rare-examples-of-when-embracing-the-autistic-self-can-be-inauthentic-0efbc7b7feaf.

The dominant theory in the autism community seems to be that when an autistic person behaves in a way that is associated with autism, that person is expressing their true identity, and should be encouraged to do so, as long as they aren’t harming themselves or anyone else.

I think this is mostly true. But in my experience living on the spectrum, there are some examples where these behaviours actually make it harder for me to express my authentic self.

Especially in terms of conveying my emotions. Autistic habits like stimming, an inappropriate tone of voice, or low eye contact can result in my outer self not matching up with how I feel on the inside. In order to express myself authentically, I do need to restrain my autistic behaviours to some extent so people can see how I really feel.

Stimming comes across to other people as frustrated or uncomfortable, but often indicate pleasant emotions for autistic individuals. This means that when I’m stimming, I’m not expressing my emotions as I feel them, which means that I need to hide my stimming if I want to demonstrate my real emotions.

My autism also means I have a harder time gauging my tone of voice, so I need to actively monitor it if I want to express my true self.

And if I want to talk to someone in public, I have no choice but to demonstrate that by giving eye contact.

Here’s another example. I may have an urge to explore my special interests, but if I’m not careful, I can spend too much time looking at that and not enough time doing other things I want to do. The most authentic version of me would be the one where I spend some time absorbing my special interests and some time doing other things. The version of me that doesn’t regulate my autism-powered laser-focus and spends too much on my special interests would be less authentic.

Sensory and motor issues can also interfere with an autistic person’s self-expression. In the Letters from Aspergia blog post “Autism Really Cramps My Style,” the author explains how her fashion options are limited by her sensitivity to texture and fit, and how her poor motor skills rule out options such as wearing heels or doing her hair. When she wears uncomfortable clothing, it can bother her enough that she struggles to get things done or talk nicely to people. Despite this, she feels like her current fashion style doesn’t suit her and wishes she could dress differently.

In conclusion, non-autistic people should welcome autistic expression with a few caveats. It’s up to autistic people to decide what works best for them. Their views on the matter should be taken seriously. Do you have any other examples of when autism clashes with authenticity?

#Authenticity #Autism #Neurodivergent #Identity

Discuss...

This article can also be viewed at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/the-age-someone-gets-diagnosed-with-autism-matters-086bdb729d2e.

The autism experience can mean many different things, and the age of diagnosis is one of the reasons for this. As someone who was diagnosed early, I noticed that my life experience is very different from people who were diagnosed as adults.

For example, I don’t have a negative attitude towards masking, or hiding my autistic traits, because I’ve always known that it’s something I can turn off and on when necessary.

People who were diagnosed as adults did not have that knowledge growing up. Since they didn’t know they were autistic, they didn’t know that too much masking can be unhealthy for them. As a result, they usually tried masking all the time so they could fit into society. This is why they dislike masking so much.

Another difference is that I’m content with the fact that I need to work harder than neurotypicals in order to catch up to them. It’s my default way of approaching my life.

Yet this has a more negative connotation for those diagnosed late. When someone doesn’t know they have a neurological condition, they can feel frustrated and confused as to why they aren’t as successful as their peers who put in the same amount of effort and come from a similar background. It’s only when they get diagnosed do they realize they have to put in more effort.

Even after they find this out, it’s disheartening that they spent all those years unaware of this, so they can be bitter about the fact that they need to try harder.

Since I was diagnosed early, I was fortunate enough not to have this experience, and so there’s no reason for me to have a problem with putting in extra effort.

There’s one more difference I’ll share with you. Because I’m autistic, I had trouble figuring things out on my own as a child, so I had to rely a lot on listening to what adults had to say in order to learn about how the world works. This helped me get in the habit of being eager to hear other people’s perspectives and make something meaningful from them. This interest of mine inspired me to create Nonmonetized Together.

Meanwhile, those who were diagnosed late grew up surrounded by people who weren’t considering their autistic perspective when talking to them. These autistic people weren’t getting much use out of what society had to tell them, and this could result in them not being as open to hearing what others have to say.

So don’t ever compare me to people who get diagnosed as adults. My life is a lot different than theirs.

EDIT: I just wanted to mention how grateful I am that this article got some discussion and that it resonated with people. It has restored my hope in Nonmonetized Together, the movement this article is a part of. I was originally planning on ending the Nonmonetized Together publication in the near future because even though it was getting a lot of views, very few people were reacting to the articles or getting involved in the Nonmonetized Together community. I began questioning whether people were interested in using the original concepts behind Nonmonetized Together to achieve their own goals. Because of the response this article has gotten from readers, I have reversed my decision and decided to continue posting on here. Thank you!

To learn about Nonmonetized Together, read this: https://write.as/non-monetized-together/about-our-blog-tired-of-internet-drama-and-fakeness

#Autism #LifeExperience #Neurodiversity #Childhood

Discuss...

Medium comments:

I guess late diagnosed people are not bitter because they only found out late that they need to work much harder, they are bitter because of missed opportunities and wrong life choices, because of not knowing what was a realistic goal. I would have chosen some other degree to pursue and I don’t know if having 3 kids was smart… I’ve got the wrong career and I’ve hated myself not being able to give love only to my 3 kids.

Lotjeknorrie

Yeah, that's a better way of putting it. It's obvious to someone when they're falling behind others, what's less obvious is what they need to do next. Thank you for explaining that.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

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For myself it's the 50 years of exploitation by others that's been challenging to navigate with late diagnosis. Set patterns in relationship that I'm now having to disrupt as I reclaim aspects of self and establish boundaries. “No, it was not acceptable for you to strew my private medical information across the family dinner table when I was at home experiencing catatonia and yes, I did call out your profound lack of discretion to everyone who didn't stop you, and no, I won't apologize for everyone's collective failure of will and no, I won't clean up the mess you've all made about me without me before you're done paying the consequences of your own actions.” Fun stuff. I can't do math for shit but I'm balancing accounts with surgical precision and it'll be a bit before the dust settles in this long-lost ok-corral.

bobbipatriciasmith

I'd love to help you out because I'm trying to make Nonmonetized Together a community with a more equitable social dynamic than the rest of the Internet. I just have no idea what you're talking about here.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

sorry, I meant social exploitation. The link below is to an academic paper. My comment is about narcissistic-style abuse where living undiagnosed and unaware has lead to a pattern of interactions where I've been cast as a “prop” for others. I've spent my whole life assuming other people thought and acted similarily to me – honest, obsessively ethical, limited capacity for bystander effect, etc. Previously I may have interpreted having my private medical information dissected at a dinner I wasn't in attendance for as internally demoralizing (shame spiral of RSD) while writing it off as the actions of people who cared imperfectly. No. That is not what was happening. With my diagnosis and consequent understanding of different brain processes, ways of making meaning, ways of communicating, etc, and through the lens of 20+ years of historical relationship review, I now understand that dinner table scene differently. The family member who lacked discretion used the details of my recent spectacular psychosis (brought on by the pernicious effects of over-masking that you touch on) as a prop to cue the listeners to the image she was hoping to present to them about herself. Every time she served up yet another salacious detail of my deeply private experience, she could perform empathy, thoughtfulness, and concern. And the listening family members took those cues and ran with them, engaging in a similar vein with a similar intent. People can absolutely be trusted but I didn't understand before diagnosis how that trust needs to be approached. As I build understanding of my autistic brain and excise narcissist after narcissist from my life, I am learning that I need to build trust with myself, first. I must approach every individual not from the hypervigilant watchful position of “what do you need that I can give before you even have to ask and so you're not mad at me” which is where I used to live, but rather from the position of “what are my strengths and where do I want to offer them while caring for myself in the process”. Thank christ the psychosis got me on disability cuz this is slooooooow going and I need all day every day to reflect and integrate. In between sharpening my knives, I MEAN EXCISING freudian slip I swear.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5980973/

bobbipatriciasmith

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Speaking for myself (but I think probably many others as well), it's not that we “dislike” masking so much. It's the damage that runs through our lives and our selves because of doing it non-stop, with no other option available. It's really good to hear you grew up knowing it was something you'd need to do at times, but then turn off, so you got the essential “time off” from masking. That helps me have some hope I may learn to do that myself. But if you do anything too long without a break (run, hold your breath) there are negative consequences. Some of us have been holding our breath for decades (5 going on 6 in my case).

Lynn Springle

Exactly

Kevin the Nonmonetized

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Even after they find this out, it’s disheartening that they spent all those years unaware of this, so they can be bitter about the fact that they need to try harder.

Accurate.

Jim Irion

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I certainly did, as for easily it can be seen what I highlighted being late diagnosed myself.

I’m a mental health advocate. Last night I published my review of what I’ve learned. I would be most grateful if you, Kevin, would give it a look at your convenience. It will surely broaden your already impressive knowledge.

“Following in an Advocate’s Footsteps”

Jim Irion

I think that was a good article, would you be interested in joining Nonmonetized Together as an author?

Kevin the Nonmonetized

I’m rather inexperienced when it comes to Medium. So, a question or two to start if I may?

First, can any of the writing I’ve already done be added? Because of my lack of economic integration, at age 42 after my late autism diagnosis led to that, I’m at a crossroads with what to do. I really don’t know. Because of the late diagnosis trauma I uncovered last June 8th, I am now less able to write and highly stressed..

It doesn’t help that, aside from sharing my writing on Twitter (1,500 followers), my writing footprint is small here. I’m sitting in two informal theories that could upend autism knowledge. I lack the experience and connections to reach people as well.

Jim Irion

Submit whatever you want and I'll let you know if you need to make any changes 😊

Kevin the Nonmonetized

How should I? Email? Or list the titles here?

Jim Irion

I will add you as an author now, and then you will be able to submit to Nonmonetized Together.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

I don’t see an option to submit, for example, via a List. Haven’t received anything via email..

Jim Irion

Open your story, go to the edit page, click the three dots on the top of the screen, and head to “add to publication.” You should see Nonmonetized Together. Click it and it will send your story to me.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Note:

The article about autism and women has a couple sentences removed and replaced with asterisks. I haven’t replaced it with research data yet by an autistic female researcher.

Jim Irion

I'm sorry, I accidentally published that article. I removed it from Nonmonetized Together, so now it's publicly available at jimiron.medium.com. There's nothing I can do to remove it from being publicly available, so if you want to do that, you will have to do it on your own. Also, you will have to resubmit the article on Nonmonetized Together.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

Could you explain this again? I’m a bit lost.. Autism and women, correct? I thought it was publicly available already.

Jim Irion

Maybe it was. You would know better than me. But you'll have to resubmit it to Nonmonetized Together to get it published there

Kevin the Nonmonetized

I re-submitted both the Time to Connect the Patterns and Part 5 on autism and women. I took out the bar graph. And I rewrote the text I removed from Part 5. Sufficiently to fill the space of what was removed and the original publication date.

That was yesterday. You should have both.

Jim Irion

[Comment section continued here](https://write.as/jbb5jugmcex7sk2t.md)

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Okay. It worked and now I think I know what the next stage of publishing actually looks like from the entry point of view. Up to now, I had only seen writers publishing through publishers. I didn’t know how to gain entry to any of them.

Next questions. What happens now? Limitations? Can these be published with more than one outlet? Is this actual publishing or just adding stories to a List?

I held back some, such as my two informal theories, until I understand more about publishing. I would prefer my writing remain unedited. I already run them through a grammar checker, as well.

Jim Irion

What happens now?

I'll read your articles, and if they're a good match for the publication, I'll publish them. If not, I can explain what needs to be changed for the article to be published. In the case of your article about autism and women, I will wait until you finish writing it before I read it.

Limitations? Can these be published with more than one outlet?

Nonmonetized Together operates across two platforms: Medium and write.as. If you want me to share your posts on write.as, please let me know. I won't publish your article onto write.as unless you specifically ask me to.

Is this actual publishing or just adding stories to a list?

Yes, these stories will be added to Nonmonetized Together, which is its own publication.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

More than one outlet wasn’t necessarily meant publications of yours. I meant any others. I don’t know the rules or etiquette for that. Some publishers retain all rights. Some don’t seem to..

Jim Irion

You can publish it through other outlets, sure

Kevin the Nonmonetized

It took years to get that simple bit of information. Thank you. I know it at least from you for this instance.

Jim Irion

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I’m curious…

You’ve been so gracious to offer me the chance to have these published, as such. It’s very hard for autistic adults to get published about autism, because the focus is still predominantly youth. Not us.

Do you know how I may go about searching for or finding other publishers who do so on here? Medium. How do I search for them?

I appreciate you giving me these chances. It opens doors to what more can be done. Thank you. Not for the pending advice. For publishing my writing. Thank you.

Jim Irion

You’re welcome! I can’t help but support you! I’m so glad to be making a difference in your life.

I would suggest searching for articles about adulthood with autism and see where those articles get published.

Kevin the Nonmonetized

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I’ll give it a try and respond back here. Have to take a moment to decide how many, which ones, and what order.

Thank you for being so patient, as well.

Jim Irion

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As a late-diagnosed autistic, it's interesting to hear your perspective. The problem isn't so much that I didn't know I had to try harder but that I had to at all, because the world is made for neurotypical brains. It's the failure of many people to appreciate this that continues to frustrate me.

Jae L

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5️⃣0️⃣

M Paul Pintarich

This article is also available at https://medium.com/non-monetized-together/8-things-i-can-only-do-here-on-nonmonetized-together-2d829fdceb63

Nonmonetized Together, the publication you are reading right now, is an experiment in deliberately creating an online culture that will counteract the problems with Internet culture. This online environment is structured and organized to allow for social interactions that wouldn’t be feasible anywhere else. In doing so, you and I can receive opportunities we wouldn’t receive elsewhere and use those opportunities to do things that wouldn’t be achievable elsewhere.

Whenever you think to yourself, “if only I could get the chance to do so-and-so in a so-and-so way” or “if only I could do so-and-so without dealing with so-and-so,” try doing it on Nonmonetized Together. Maybe this publication can make your dreams come true.

Here is a list of things I could do on Nonmonetized Together that I couldn’t do anywhere else:

1. I don’t target any specific demographic with Nonmonetized Together.

Personal photo representing diversity

This means Nonmonetized Together can empower a greater variety of readers than I would anywhere else, which creates a more equitable impact than creators who focus on individual demographics. Depending on political orientation, nationality, race, age, and socioeconomic status, people have many different ideas of what it means to have a better life, but I try to write in a way so anybody can get closer to achieving that by joining the conversation.

They just have to be willing to put up with writers that refuse to deploy psychological tactics other writers use to keep readers loyal, such as sugarcoating morbid realities or reaffirming their preexisting beliefs (yes, I know this will reduce my audience in the short term, but I think being authentic will make this blog more valuable in the long term).

Keep in mind, I’m not a self-help guru. I am trying to create a culture without a power dynamic, where you can find your own way of gaining strength and supporting others.

2. I can take online incidents that most people would see as insignificant and give people reasons to see them as significant.

Personal photo

A few of my articles are about little-known Internet posts from ordinary Internet people. Typically, if I saw those sort of posts acted out in the physical world, I wouldn’t bother getting involved because it just wouldn’t be any of my business. But it’s different when these things get posted publicly on the Internet.

Whenever you make a public post on the Internet, that post becomes everybody’s business. You’re inviting the whole world to see your post, interact with it, and potentially get influenced by it. You’re letting people know that you’re comfortable with it receiving all this attention.

So, even though most people would expect a blogger to write about things that the public has already shown interest in, I sometimes write about Internet occurrences that, at first glance, appear non-notable. I’m aware that it’s not always just celebrities and major brands that shape our experiences. Sometimes it’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference, and I think there should be a public online space where we can discuss the significance behind random people’s posts. By putting it on the open Web, readers can use this discussion to make a bigger difference in the world than if they kept it private.

So whenever I write an article about these so-called mundane topics, my goal is to answer the question, “why should this topic be taken seriously?” I want people to ignore the commonly accepted definition of notability and instead recognize the transformative potential of what less powerful individuals have to say.

3. I get to approach social justice in a way that I hope will appeal to both sides: people who support the current movement AND people who think it’s going too far.

Personal photo

Nonmonetized Together is a place where people can discuss social justice ideas from an experimental lens. This means that it’s from the perspective of “let’s try this social justice idea, see how it goes, collect the results, and from there on ask how can we develop this further?”

It’s not like elsewhere on the Internet, where it’s either “everybody needs to behave like this or we’ll insult them, and we’ll do it behind their backs so they don’t know” or it’s “I don’t like obeying these dumb rules, so instead of choosing not to follow them, I’ll insult other people for participating in them, and I’ll do it behind their backs so they don’t know.”

Nonmonetized Together is a free-thinking community that is less about fulfilling power fantasies and more about producing knowledge. You may not agree with all social justice ideas on the community, and on Nonmonetized Together, you don’t have to participate in them. But it’s important for people to try certain social justice strategies and collect data. I hope this will help us make the world a better place without getting pushback from the traditionalists.

4. I can have a conversation without getting bogged down by political code words.

Personal photo

If anybody uses political code words, I will stop to clarify what the user really means before going forward in the conversation. What if they choose to refuse explaining what they mean by the code word? Well then, it would make them look bad, and I wouldn’t want to do that. When I clarify the code word, the user gets a chance to become more transparent and get closer to achieving a productive conversation. Yes, they admit to making a mistake but that’s not a bad thing, even if you’re Donald Trump.

For example, let’s say you’re somewhere other than Nonmonetized Together, and you want to turn your followers against someone, but you lack any concrete reason to do so. Well then, you can just call them “mentally ill” and that will do the job. But on Nonmonetized Together, “mentally ill” doesn’t have those connotations. It just refers to its literal definition.

So to weed out people who start political drama instead of political progress, I will ask them to clarify what mental illness they meant and why it’s relevant to the discussion. If they have an answer, then they probably actually meant “mentally ill.” If they don’t have a real answer or start acting attacked, I will explain Nonmonetized Together, find the term they meant to use, forgive them, and continue the discussion from there.

I know other political codewords as well (like the recent popularity of “women’s rights” in reference to being able to easily get an abortion) but I probably don’t know them all. If you notice someone use a political codeword that I can’t catch, please let me know, and I will try to come up with a solution. But be wary if you misuse this guideline for the purpose of sowing disorder. I’m politically neutral and will be able to catch that right away.

5. I can write about niche topics. Outside Nonmonetized Together, I know not to bore people by talking about obscure things they probably don’t know about, but the Internet is different. There will always be someone online who will find your posts useful.

Nonmonetized Together takes advantage of this reality by making articles about incredibly niche topics sometimes. I even invited the “decadeology anarchy” community to share their posts onto Nonmonetized Together, despite them being an even nichier version of the already niche community r/decadeology. None of them have taken up my offer yet, though I at least hope Slim95 will write for Nonmonetized Together as he recently got fed up with Reddit and left r/decadeologyanarchy.

6. I can communicate with people I would not want to talk to in real life.

I can reach a stadium full of people (Personal photo)

Nazis, trolls, cult leaders, rape apologists, terrorist supporters, abusers, pro-anorexia participants — I would not want anything to do with any of these people outside of Nonmonetized Together. But I can’t just leave them to their own devices as that would be turning a blind eye to the problems they perpetuate.

Maybe if they stumble upon Nonmonetized Together, we can hold them accountable or even get them to go down a different path. If we aren’t successful, at least we get to provide the Internet with examples and results of our intervention methods, which could inform people on how they could do it in the future. And if you want to say something to these people but feel scared, send your message to me in a private note and I will speak on your behalf.

If there’s any place on the Internet that can pull this off, it’s this one. Nonmonetized Together is dedicated to figuring out how Internet communities can function better. It tries to promote patience and understanding of everyone’s situation, yet at the same time, tries to hold people accountable. It encourages participants to challenge each other’s preconceptions.

If the comment sections get dominated by people promoting horrific ideas while refusing to practice self-reflection, I promise I will either make changes to how this community functions or declare it a failed experiment. But if that doesn’t happen, we can make some progress or inspire other people to make progress.

7. I can acknowledge advertisements for what they really are.

Personal photo

Since this blog is nonmonetized, I don’t care about appeasing advertisers, so when I discuss them, I will describe them as what they truly are: entitled, narcissistic, shallow leeches that would rather turn everyone into morons than challenge society.

I once had a dream that advertisers were cool. I was walking through a store and I see these promotional banners hanging from the ceiling. Each banner contained a sentence in the format, “In (year), (person or group of people) were perceived as terrorists.” Could you imagine if an advertiser had the soul and spunk to do this in real life? But people don’t care that advertisers are lame because they get distracted by the fact that advertisements play an important role in society. And yes, that dream ended up inspiring me to write the article Year-By-Year Google Trends Data Shows How Terrorists Were Represented From 2005–2023.

8. I get to communicate outside of the competitive political context.

Peaceful personal photo

Nonmonetized Together is the only secular environment that operates outside of the competitive political sphere. Outside of Nonmonetized Together, everywhere you go, you see a society built on competing over resources and overpowering enemies. Everyone seems to be working for their own interest and trying to take advantage of each other. This type of society will burn to the ground. Disadvantaged people are most at risk as they are desperate and rely on powerful people.

Not only that, competitive politics is a losing game. No matter how much political power you obtain, the other side isn’t going away. They will always be there, obstructing your path to true happiness and fulfillment. The only way to win the game of politics is to do it noncompetitively, which is what I did.

I decided I would make a better influence on society if I didn’t align with any of these competitive political movements. I trained my mind to let go of the political beliefs I had previously.

Instead, I started viewing the world from a Catholic and Freirean perspective and tried to live like Jesus, even if it comes at a personal cost. I began using peaceful, open dialogue to allow people to navigate the world’s issues in their own authentic way. I focused on giving people the tools to enrich their own minds while trying to take something positive away from my own interactions with people. I encouraged people to challenge my blog posts (shoutout to @michaelzwierzanski) as I knew that would give them intellectual strength and agency.

This became more fulfilling for me than political involvement and eventually became my default state of mind. This is how Nonmonetized Together became the only secular environment that operates outside of the competitive political sphere, because it is run by someone who is not politically motivated but is instead motivated by knowledge and fairness.

The world may feel like it’s spinning out-of-control, but by creating my own community from scratch, I can provide a space to escape from the chaos and start anew. We can use better techniques, use better information, and have better relationships than the rest of the internet. This way, we can protect future generations the best we can.

https://write.as/non-monetized-together/about-our-blog-tired-of-internet-drama-and-fakeness

#Internet #Writing #Blogging #InternetCulture #SocialJustice

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