Riley Q

Two years later I still stop and wonder how I am so blessed to have you.

Two years later I can't help but see how much you've grown.

Two years later I've seen you overcome.

Two years later I've seen you challenge what you believe and come back even stronger than before.

Two years later I've seen your heart grow and your love deepen.

Two years later I've seen you become even more patient which I didn't know was possible.

Two years later I've seen you grow into role after role with confidence and passion.

Two years later I've seen you step into your new name of “Daddy” and own it with tremendous strength.

Two years I've seen your resilience shine through even the toughest of situations.

Two years later I am even more in love than I was when we first met and I know that with each year life will get sweeter and sweeter.

To the next two years and the rest of our lives.

xoxo

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=343590877886678990

I moved away from all of my friends and family at 18 years old the summer of 2018. I moved from Michigan to Nashville on July 1st and although I had plans to go to New York City at some point or maybe move back to Michigan eventually to settle down close to my family... God had other plans for my life.

Only a month after moving I met my now husband and almost three years after moving, we've been married for two years and our son is four months old. Funny how that works.

I longed for friends for a very long time and it wasn't until recently that I've really put down roots and started branching out into what I would call my “adult friendships”.

I have been at a little bit of a disadvantage because I didn't go to college. Moving to Tennessee I already had experience with long distance friendships because my friends had gone off to college and I'd been doing long distance from Michigan for almost three years already. I knew how to do the texts, monthly FaceTime dates, visits when we could and take advantage of the summertime. But moving to college is far different than moving across the country because with college, you know you're coming in the summer. When you move for your career and to get life experience, you aren't coming back.

The summer comes and goes and you see your friends living it up but you're still there. It's hard.

I could still catch up with people and occasionally friends would visit but it was a lot harder and inevitably I drifted apart from the majority of my friends.

I'm thankfully still in contact with some of my high school girls who are more like sisters to me and we get together or talk every chance we get, but there is still some depth that we lack after having been apart for so long.

Making friends in your area is important but I'm not going to tell you how to do that because I kinda don't exactly know how I made the friends I have now. It's just kind of happened. I took chances, I introduced myself, I became close with people on social media and we got together and kept at it until it was comfortable. And some people I inherited through Dustin and we've gotten closer over the years. But even then, I think keeping long distance friends is totally feasible and I encourage you to try!

Here's a few tips I've learned over the years.

Let go of the expectations and realize that things will change.

I know it can be easy to say “don't worry, nothing's going to change, we'll always be friends”. While the second part of that statement may be true, if you don't shift your perspective on the first part, you won't be able to stay friends.

You have to realize that things are going to change in one way or another. You're not going to be able to stay up to date on the little details of the ins and outs of the day to day. You're not going to meet the new people that come into their life and know who and what they're talking about. You're not going to be able to be there for them to cry on your shoulder or show up for them when things get rough unless you have a ton of money and time and flexibility to travel. Things will change, but that doesn't mean that it will break you. That leads me to the second point.

You're going to have to learn to adapt.

You won't always get to see each other when you're both in town. You won't get as much time or attention as you're used to because the people in your day to day life will slowly start taking up more of it than they did when you were around. Like I said things will change which means you're going to have to adapt. It means you can't get upset with your friends for not talking to you everyday. It means that you're going to both have to make effort to see one another. It means that you're going to have to learn other ways to cope and work through things that maybe they helped you through before. You can still maintain your friendship but if you expect them to still play the same role, you're going to crumble.

You're going to have to be very intentional.

That being said, you're going to BOTH have to be very intentional. This means setting boundaries and ideas into place before the move happens. Maybe you make a standing date of every Tuesday night you hop on FaceTime and make dinner together and catch up. Or Monday's you text while you watch The Bachelor like you used to do at home together. Whatever you can do so that you maintain something that you used to do together, just apart. But you'll have to set boundaries too about not calling one another and expecting time every single day. Or reminding them that when you're with other people you won't be able to talk but you love them and will make time when you can. You need to set up ways to get together in person a few times a year and you'll both have to be intentional about making it happen. You can make the time and effort, you just have to do it.

You have to know when to let go.

At the end of the day, no matter how hard you try, some long distance friendships just don't work out. Because guess what? People change and move on and evolve without you and that's okay, but it just means that you might not be meant to be in each other's lives anymore. Obviously you can still follow one another on social media and generally stay in touch, but maybe it's not meant to be a day to day friendship anymore. Sometimes this happens because they change a lot and they're not who they used to be. Sometimes you grow up and opinions change that you can't get over. Sometimes life gets busy and you drift and sometimes you realize that you weren't really that close, you just saw them a lot because of mutual friends, a job or your circumstances. Whatever it is, know when to value yourself enough to stop pouring into a one sided friendship and focus on those who are still trying to pour into you, even from 500 miles away. It will also give you time to pour into the people who are right in front of you who want to be your friend. It doesn't have to be some big dramatic breakup, it can just be that you simply stop reaching out and making the time.

I know how hard long distance can be, but with the right people, YOUR people, it will work. My mom has been long distance for 20+ years with her high school best friend. That's a testimony to me that with time, effort and mutual respect and love, you can make it work.

xoxo – Ry

As many of you know this has now been deemed “women's month”, I'm not exactly sure who it made it that but hey, let's talk about women.

Ironically (not really, it always goes like this) this month has been kinda crappy for women across the globe. From Meghan Markle admitting that her new family couldn't give a crap about her mental health to the mass shootings of women down in Georgia all the way across the ocean to women having to fight for their right to walk down the street safely. It's been overwhelming really.

I feel like we just keep facing the same problems, over and over again and nothing seems to change- in fact, it's barely changed throughout our entire history. Nevertheless, the one positive thing that has remained throughout history is how us women tend to stick together. We stick up for one another, show up with food and hugs and we do it well. It's something that, as hard as the supportive and incredible men in our lives try, they'll never quite understand.

They'll never quite know the fear of being home alone, walking through a parking lot, or doing anything by themselves. They'll never quite know the feeling of wondering if they're being given equal opportunities and consideration. They'll never know what it feels like to be shut down and silenced out of insecurity and fear.

Men have their own issues, absolutely, I won't pretend (unlike a lot of people) that they don't, and those are totally valid. But when it comes to discussing these issues and finding solidarity in our experiences, I think it's important as women that we surround ourselves with our women who can relate and will be empathetic.

I've had some weird ups and downs with friends. Sometimes I have really great friends and nearby and other times I'm pretty isolated. I'd say I'm only just now, two and half years into living in Tennessee, getting settled in with a group of women that I love, who understand me and who I feel comfortable with. I had that in Michigan in high school, but, a lot has changed since then and although distance makes the heart grow fonder, the distance is still there.

Many times I've prayed for God to just bring me some friends. People who thought like I did, believed similarly & would be willing to walk with me through this crazy life. I've always somewhat idolized shows like Sex & the City, Friends and The Bold Type because I just desperately wanted a group of girlfriends like that. Maybe not quite so raunchy, but a group that I could rely on, pray with and share my heart with.

Throughout the years I slowly grew those foundations in the friendships I'm currently in, but it wasn't until recently that we started getting together regularly and getting in deep. I didn't know it until I missed a week, but I so needed them and they're truly an answer to a prayer that I've been seeking answers to for a long time.

All of that to say, I see you if you're in a season where you're between friends right now. Maybe you feel isolated or you're just yearning for someone to “get” you, I feel ya. All I can say is that you just need to pray for God to bring you opportunities to connect with like-minded people, and when you do, take the chances! I know it can be scary to put yourself out there and to be vulnerable, especially when it's been awhile since you've done that, but, what do you have to lose?

You don't have to settle for people who make you feel less than or who are constantly judging and critiquing your life choices and belief systems. You will find your people, sometimes you just have to grow a little yourself and wait out in the in-between. But one day you'll sit down with your friends and you'll be incredibly grateful because they were worth the wait.

xoxo – Ry

One of my favorite things about God is how much He cares about the details of our lives.

Whenever I try to explain how incredible God is, I get overwhelmed because there's been just so many examples of how He has worked so intentionally and personally in my life.

How does one summarize life experiences where you feel so seen? It feels impossible.

Over the years my family created a God rock jar. A jar full of rocks we’d write on with a date & a few words to commemorate blessings & answered prayers. A visual reminder of how God our loving Father was & is to our family.

We had meals provided when there was little food, exact amounts of money we needed, extra blessings like ice cream & vacations that we didn't expect. It was really special and it taught me the importance of prayer, having wild faith and trusting God even when there didn't seem to be a door or a window in sight. It's not always in the way that we would expect, but in the bigger picture it's always better than anything we could've imagined.

A few of my favorite verses to lean into during those moments of uncertainty are...

Matthew 6:25-27

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

and

Philippians 4:10-13 & 19

“I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

If God is going to take care of the birds and the lilies and give Paul such peace as He was facing possible death in prison for his faith, can I not trust Him in the little things?

I love when God brings other people into my life who have experienced Him in the same way; in the freedom rather than the rigidness that the evil one tries to portray to deter people from experiencing that love and freedom. I hold onto those people and it's even better when they're willing to share those experiences.

Recently I met Erica, a woman that was undeniably sent by God to connect with me. It's crazy- but, no coincidence- how much we have in common. From working in the bridal industry, to being midwest girls, to having boys in 2020 when we had thought we'd be living life in the NYC and pursuing our dreams childless at this point int our lives. We're also both devout followers of Jesus, writers, and passionate about health- wild, truly. Erica recently wrote a book, Constant Pursuit, about the way that God pursued her in even the smallest details and reading it I felt like I was reading a parallel of my life. It was mind blowing (even having experienced it) to see how God just continually provided in exact dates, times & desires. Reading stories like that it is undeniable to me that there is a creator who loves us so very deeply and that when we place our faith in Him, He blesses us tenfold.

If you're not quite sure about the whole thing, I'd definitely give Erica's book a read [](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1098366387/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vamf_tkin_p1_i0) and her episode on the Solidarity Podcast – “No Coincidences” a listen!

I hope you'll take a second to slow down, count your blessings and look back to acknowledge the way that God has worked in your life.

xoxo – Ry

A Little Extra: I'm sharing a fun little video where I talk about ways that God has shown up in very real ways and blessed me over the years. A few funny stories, but every one is so evident of the ways that God has worked in my life. Watch now on Cinnamon!

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=547302369478575232

If you listen to this week's podcast you'll find that we're talking about coincidences and how God moves- spoiler alert- they're one and the same.

Have you ever had an experience where you needed something, like a very specific amount of money or you were dreaming about something particular and out of nowhere, out of the blue, it just happened? Your dream came true or you were blessed with the exact amount of money you needed?

I have and it's a very cool experience.

In this day and age these experiences are typically brought back to the receiver.

“Look at what you accomplished!”

“You attract so many good things!”

“The universe is working for you.”

These are very new age concepts. The law of attraction, manifestation- they're basically a way to accept blessings without attributing them back to God. It's a belief system that spreads like wildfire through pretty quotes and journals and in my personal opinion, it's dangerous for Christians to mess with it.

I'm speaking from experience here, it's not fun to deal with. At first it feels nice because you start to see yourself as powerful, capable of anything and “enough” but as the Bible teaches, that's just not truth. We are not capable of having life outside of Jesus because we deserve death. It's by grace, through faith, that we are saved and that we get to do life with Jesus and live it to the fullest and more abundantly. (Ephesians 2:8 & John 10:10) That is where that pain and “sentence” is washed away in the gift of life that He gave to us freely.

Like I said, it's fun at first but slowly and surely it becomes more overwhelming and there is a ginormous amount of pressure on one's shoulders and when they feel like they have to manifest, attract and provide everything for themselves.

To the outside, on social media, it looks all pretty and fun and empowering but having done some real life with some of these coaches and having tried it for myself, I can tell you it's far from pretty. There's a lot of straight up lying, manipulation, a lot of tears and a lot of pain.

Now obviously, this is my experience, as a Christian who stepped outside of my relationship with God to do things on my own. I should've known better (1 Corinthians 8:5-6) but I was tempted and I took the bait. It looked nice to have “all the wealth” and receive an unlimited amount of “abundance” only what I found was quite the opposite and I've never had more abundance than when I'm walking with Jesus.

If you've had a different experience, that's totally your story and journey, this is just mine. Keep in mind I'm speaking from a Christian perspective with the Bible as my reference. If that's not what you believe then know that I'm not judging you or trying to hold you accountable to it. Unlike a lot of Christian's portray, that's not how it works. This is your own journey with God and how you handle that is between y'all. I'm just here to share my experience with how God has worked in my life and continually pursued me.

During this time I was in a very dark place. I was overwhelmed, although I was saying my affirmations I was still in a very dark place and I was struggling to stay afloat physically, mentally and financially. It wasn't until I stepped out of it, asked God for forgiveness for doubting His infallible plan and accepted His everlasting grace and love that I started to feel whole again.

What's beautiful though is although I felt like God was quiet, He never stopped reaching out to me, He fought for me. I just couldn't appreciate it or see it until I came out of the darkness I was in.

Looking back I can remember so many times when He spoke to me through friends who reached out, gifts from family members, little blessings that would pop up here and there and even through my relationship with Dustin. He continually reminded me that He was there and that He desired a relationship with me.

I typically find that when God is speaking to me it comes in waves. I used to think that in the silent moments it meant that He didn't want me anymore. But I came to realize that it wasn't that He was turning His back on me, rather it was a time that I needed to sit with Him in solitude, in silence, and reflect and seek answers in the word. Those moments aren't always fun but they're where I've always seemed to grow the most, where God has met me and healed my heart.

I know it can be easy to write off fun blessings and coincidences, things we've attracted, or earned through karma- but I assure you that those blessings are from God. He's pursuing you, whether or not you're a Christian because He loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you. It's the best relationship you could ever be in because it never fails, it's everlasting and it's fulfilling in a way that no other relationship will ever be able to truly sustain and fulfill you.

If you've walked the line of Christianity but you're not 100% sure about it, either because it's confusing or you've been scarred by the church (been there, done that a few times, not fun) or something else is holding you back, I really encourage you to seek God and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. He will and it is magnificent.

xoxo – Ry

I don't quite view my health journey the way that most people do, so I want to share how I do view it. Maybe it'll inspire you to value your health journey in a slightly different way.

xoxo – Ry

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=542588131677833108

Growing up I remember thinking about my weight a lot. I was very self conscious and always thought I was considered overweight. That is, thanks to the BMI test we had to do at school. What a load of BS that test is. I had a really hard time with that because I wanted to be “skinny” then, I wouldn't have any problems. Then, people would like me. Then, I would look good in the clothes all my friends looked good in. Then, boys would give me the same attention that they gave to my skinny blonde friends.

It was a constant struggle, feeling like I was unattractive. When people were confident about their appearance I would find something “off” and convince myself they were over compensating with “confidence” to make up for whatever that thing was. A twisted way of thinking, I'm aware, but it was my thought process.

It's carried with me into adulthood and it's been something I've had to fight. It's hard not to get jealous of the people that look the way you'd like to. It's hard not to feel envious of someone who has problems you wish you had.

Going through this first year of postpartum now I'm realizing that although that little voice in the back of my head has faded over the years, it's still there, whispering lies about my worth and my appearance and how they're connected. I talked about this feeling in my podcast episode yesterday where I shared about the hard day I had with my body.

Recently I was scrolling on Instagram and I saw a post from Chels Caris. She was talking about her “mommy body” and how someone told her that she was “too skinny” to have a mom bod.

How insane is that?

It instantly brought me back to my childhood when people would tell me to tell my sister to eat a burger because she was too skinny. Or when people would tell me that I needed to do whatever she was doing because she looked better than I did.

Little did they know, we were siblings through adoption and that our genetics, metabolisms and everything about our bodies were completely different. That being said, even if we were fully blood related that still wouldn't give anyone the right to compare what our bodies looked like and were capable of. The point is, we were two different people.

Weight affects everyone differently.

You can be skinny and unhealthy.

You can be overweight and unhealthy.

You can be the scientifically determined “correct” weight and be unhealthy.

My point? Everyone has problems.

Whether or not you have problems with your weight is irrelevant. Everyone struggles with something regardless of what they look like, no one person is exempt from that.

That means we can't use it as a measurement of success or failure. It means that we need to stop the comparison game and assumptions. And it means that we need to stop claiming that those are “skinny” can't have problems. Skinny shaming is just as wrong as “fat” shaming.

I know how hard it is when you're so incredibly jealous of someone who looks the way you want to look, I 100% get it. I get feeling like they have no idea what it's like to walk in your shoes and to feel like they shouldn't get to complain about their bodies or be insecure if they're under a certain number on the scale, I get it. But just as we don't want to be shamed for our circumstances, which are far better than majority of the world in one way or another, we shouldn't shame others for theirs.

Our bodies are within our control to an extent, but at the end of the day it is and what it is. We have the chance to celebrate one another and the beautiful things that we accomplish. We get to celebrate that our bodies enable us to accomplish things by carrying us through life and continuing to operate on their own. It's a beautiful thing and I think if we started viewing our bodies for what they can do instead of what they aren't, we'd be a lot happier and more at peace than we are now.

How can you appreciate and celebrate your body this week? (Even if you don't love it, I promise there is something you can be thankful for.)

xoxo – Ry