I've been making my body a priority.

I was hesitant to share this during the week I'm talking about my postpartum body and dealing with trying to love it but then I realized that was dumb. I'm not telling anyone how they have to take care of their bodies and I'm not shaming anyone for not doing things the way I am. Sometimes I think I'm afraid to share things because I'm worried that simply mentioning something could trigger someone. I'm all about being sensitive and loving but I also don't want to hold back from being able to help someone who is actively looking for help.

That being said, if talking about exercise and ways of nourishing your body through food triggers you, by all means- skip this post.

I knew going into my postpartum period that I was probably going to struggle with my body image. When I was really getting healthy and getting my body back into shape (physically, emotionally & mentally) in the beginning of 2020, I was struggling, so I knew going into this new season was probably going to be a challenge. I was absolutely correct.

I've heard some women talk about their new appreciation for what their body has done but honestly, I never felt that. I knew I should but I just couldn't. All I could think about was how uncomfortable I felt. I was surrounded by messages of accept yourself where you're at but that didn't feel right to me. It wasn't until a few weeks in when I was researching various postpartum workouts I could do to start gaining strength that I was desperately craving that I realized that if I didn't want to accept where I was at and I wanted to change it, that was totally my prerogative. Although the accept yourself message feels nice, it doesn't mean that it's for everyone.

Hear me out, something I've learned recently is that accepting yourself and loving yourself are two very different things. I can fully love who I am, love who God created me to be and want to change the way I feel and look. Those two things can co-exist- despite how anyone else feels about it or the overall body positivity movement that would tell me that those two things are one and the same when really, they're not.

You have to find what healthy is for you.

For me that means that I have strength, that I'm eliminating unnecessary body fat and that I am achieving that through moving which improves my mental health and through fueling my body through food and supplements in a way that supports every part of me. In my life, I cannot be a good mom, wife, daughter, friend, sister, or aunt if my brain isn't working. If I can't function I can't show up for myself, let alone anyone else. I know that in my life functioning means that my brain is on and firing, that I'm able to keep up physically with those around me and that I can make it to the end of my day. I don't like feeling exhausted after going up a flight of steps. I don't like feeling like I've run a marathon after walking around the grocery store, packing it all up & putting it all away. Those aren't things that should physically exhaust a 21 year old. So when I'm feeling that way, I know it means that I need to make a shift to how I'm eating and moving.

Now I'm not going to tell you what to do because every body is so different but I will tell you a few things that worked for me, especially as a new mom because eating for your body & moving with a new baby is HARD.

Tip #1 – Start when you're ready.

For me I was ready at 6 weeks exactly. That's not the case for everyone. Some may be able to start sooner and some later. But around the 6 week mark I was itching to move my body and eat healthier. I felt like crap and knew I had to make a change to be able to keep up with Hayden.

Tip #2 – Listen to your body.

Your body will tell you everything you need to know. On days you are exhausted and the thought of working out is a no-go- try gentle movement like stretching to get the blood flowing and to help your body regenerate. If you're feeling like you have a ton of energy, do your “harder” workout that day. Start tuning in to what your body is craving and how you feel after you eat. Personally I know that when I eat sugar or things that break down quickly into sugar (simple carbs) I get horrible headaches and feel awful. When I eat complex carbs, protein & things with a lot of fiber like raw fruits & veggies I feel 10x better and have much more energy and brain clarity. This doesn't mean that I only eat those things, but I tune in and listen to how I'm feeling to better support my body and what it needs. I wouldn't say I'm on a diet because for some people those can be problematic and harmful, rather I'm committing myself to a way of eating. Occasionally I'll have the cookie when I feel like it, but after I eat it, if I feel like crap, which I usually do, I'll go for the fruit next time I'm craving something sweet. It doesn't have to be about feeling guilty for eating something, instead, knowing what is going to make you feel your best and making choices to best achieve that and dealing with the natural consequences when you choose differently. It's and ebb and flow of learning.

Tip #3 – Find workouts that you enjoy.

At first, I felt like a bowl full of jello every time I moved. Instead of doing cardio or anything high intensity, I started with postpartum friendly YouTube videos. Videos made specifically for women trying to regain their core, arm & pelvic floor strength. Doing these exercises 3-5 days a week, for 10-15 minutes a day helped me immensely. Slowly I increased that time until I was doing things that were a bit harder for longer periods of time. Now I'm 3 months postpartum and I'm able to do 20-40 minute workouts 5 days a week and my strength is insane to what I thought it could be. The key is to listen to your body and take baby steps. When I'm not feeling well or I'm on my period, I take it easy & go back to that gentle stretching or some days I take a break. The key is getting back to it as soon as I feel up to it.

Tip #4 – Get strategic.

I know how hard it is to make taking care of yourself a priority when you have a newborn, but you have to do it. You cannot pour from an empty cup. So that means you have to get strategic. You can watch my video about my morning routine to see how I do that but here's the spark notes. Key is: you can put your baby down. It's okay if they fuss for a second and it's okay for them to nap in a place that isn't your arms. If that doesn't work for you, wait until your partner gets home or get up before your baby does and get it done. I'll talk about meals in a second, but getting strategic with that means meal prepping & having easy to grab foods available. (I started this when he was 6 weeks old) As soon as I get up in the morning I make my breakfast while Hayden hangs out in his bouncer and I get my supplements and water filled. Then I feed him and eat and play with him then it's time for his nap. I rock him to sleep, put him down in his crib with his white noise and turn the monitor on in the living room. I know I have about 30-60 minutes to get my workout done so I pick my workout (I am doing the Lo Rox program right now) on my TV and I get it done right then. I hop in the shower and by the time I'm done Hayden is up. I grab a snack and as soon as Dustin is home from work we eat lunch and then dinner later. That being said, let's talk about food.

If you'd like to download my free recipe guide with some of my favorite recipes I've experimented with, you can grab that here.

Tip #5 – Have it ready!

If I didn't have easy to grab foods, I'd be screwed. With Hayden I have minutes or seconds to grab something before I have to feed him or pump. For breakfast I have my ingredients altogether and I throw 'em in a bowl and have cold oats with fruit every morning. My go-to snacks are larabars, mini luna bars, mini RX bars, almonds, peanuts, cashews, carrot sticks, apples & peanut butter and clementines. These are all things will help give my blood sugar a boost and help me get my calories in for breastfeeding and pumping (I track that in the lose-it app which I love so that I make sure I'm eating enough & you can save recipes for quick adds). I keep snacks in easy to reach places so if I'm stuck with a sleeping, eating or fussy baby I can still eat. As far as main meals go, like I said, I keep all of my breakfast stuff together, but for lunch & dinner I do have the privilege of having Dustin cook both meals for me. When I know he won't be home for lunch I make sure to have pre-cut veggies, lunch meat, and fruit (grapes, clementines) available for a quick grab. Otherwise, make it a priority for you and your partner to meal prep when you can (weekends, evenings) to make lunches & dinners easier.

Tip #6 – Drink your water.

Get a cup with a straw because it makes it so much easier to drink. But get that water in. That is all.

I truly hope that if you're in this same season of life and you're struggling that this helped you a bit. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up. You're doing a hard job and you're doing great at it. You will not always be in such a hard spot and it will get better. It takes time and perseverance and strategy, but you're going to make it happen. If you have any questions or need support, feel free to reach out, I'd be happy to listen and help.

xoxo – Ry

TW: I know that this topic can trigger some people, so if you can't talk about body image, weight loss or issues pertaining to health & wellness, skip this post.

I kinda say it all in the video, so I'm not going to say much but know that this topic is hard for me to talk about, but I find it necessary. I know there are other women struggling with their body image, especially after baby, and we don't typically talk about it in a healthy way. It's either “bounce back” or on the other end of the spectrum “ignore it”. Neither of these are healthy mindsets and we need to start meeting in the middle. It's okay to want to pursue the body that you had before baby, or some version of it but it's not okay to beat yourself up in the process. I tread very lightly with this topic but also realize this is my own personal experience. If you disagree, that is totally fine. You have to do what is best in your situation. This isn't one-size-fits-all advice. That's all. I hope you find the video encouraging in your own journey.

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=538467359950636933

xoxo – Ry

I know I've been on this topic for a few days now, but I really want you to get this. And yes, I promise I'll move on after this. If you haven't listened to Wednesday's podcast and you're not sure what I'm talking about, check that out real quick. It's literally a 5 minute listen this week, super quick, but I want you to have time to really reflect because the message is important and opens the door for a lot of self growth.

Is it time to move on?

In this week's episode we listened as Julia made the realization that for the sake of her mental health, even though she had her dream job, she needed to move on. It didn't necessarily make sense except for that fact that it's what she needed mentally.

How often do we find ourselves in that very place? Desperately needing something different but terrified to move in a different direction because we're either somewhat comfortable or utterly terrified to step out into uncharted territory?

It could be a horrible job, a lukewarm relationship, an overwhelming project that you just don't have the spark for anymore; it could be anything.

Quitting isn't cute, but walking away because something is over or it's worse for you to stay mental and physically- that's not quitting. That's knowing when it's time to move on.

So how do you know when you're simply quitting something vs knowing it's the best option for your mental & physical health now & long term?

Quitting often looks and feels like:

• Getting overwhelmed before you even give it a chance & walking away.

• Feeling lazy so you just don't put the work in but get disappointed when it doesn't go well so you walk away without a second glance.

• Choosing not to fix something that could be easily fixed if you just took a minute to concentrate.

Walking away for the greater good is:

• You feel overwhelmed by every step and although you keep stepping, it's just not working.

• Everything you do feels forced & unnatural.

• You have immense anxiety around what you're doing.

• Your heart is being pulled in another direction but you're only staying because you feel obligated.

Oftentimes we hear about God shutting doors to things we're not supposed to do. But ya know, God also does that when it comes to things we're already in and it's time to leave. If you feel like God is sending you prompts or shutting doors and you keep trying to pry them open because “that's what you're supposed to do” you should probably stop and rethink and pray about if you're supposed to keep going or if you're supposed to turn the other way and call it a day.

I know that as a perfectionist myself, not hitting a goal feels like the absolute end of the world. But I promise it's not.

Sometimes the things that we hold on the most to are the things we're actually supposed to let go of for the greater picture.

What are you holding onto right now?

Is God prompting you to let go?

Is your mental or physical health struggling because of it?

I know it's hard but I promise you that there is something brighter on the other side, you just have to give yourself permission to let go. Lean into God for the strength to walk away because the emotional turmoil can be heavy, even when it's the right thing to do.

When a door closes it just means that there is something more for us that we can't quite see yet. Trust the process and realize that if you just say yes to the brave decision of choosing the unknown, you may just find yourself with a huge load off of your shoulders and a giant sight of relief.

I hope this encourages you. I think we're all always holding onto one thing or another. I know it feels impossible to give things up, to meet all of your goals, check all the boxes & “prove” your worth. But I promise you that the freedom that comes when you let go of the things that are no longer, or never were, for you, it's incredible and it's so very worth it.

xoxo – Ry

There's more to life than finishing everything & hitting every goal.

Perseverance is a virtue, one that God talks a lot about, absolutely. But sometimes our view of goals and accomplishments differ from reality or what God wants for our lives.

I've recently been brought down in a way that I never imagined I would be.

It's ironic- not, because God, but it just so happened that the week I aired Julia's story about her mental health journey and the freedom she received in leaving a job that gave her major anxiety, I was also tackling a huge new shift in my life. Dealing with such a disappointment that I didn't know was possible.

My goal has always been to breastfeed until Hayden was a year old. Recently it was made clear to us by his medical provider that he needed to get on formula asap because my supply is extremely low.

This was not okay with me in any way shape or form because my body is supposed to be able to nourish him, I am supposed to be able to do this as a natural bodily function and I never wanted to give him formula.

I felt like a complete failure especially because when I say I've done it all to have a fabulous supply, I've literally done it all. And I continue to do it all as I'm exclusively pumping and giving him a mixture of what little breastmilk I can produce and the rest being formula. But my body continues to produce less and less and I continue to feel more and more inadequate.

This is something I've actively going through. I don't feel like I have permission to give up yet, as much as I want to. It's interesting, I posted a question in a group the other day about a portable pump so that I could go out and about and get off my couch, but I was met with a lot of “just quit”, “fed is best” and “if your mental health is struggling, formula is the answer” and honestly, it pissed me off. It invalidated my feelings, it invalidated the fact that I know what's best for my son (not a sing-song saying) and it put me in a box. The assumption was made that breastfeeding wasn't the best thing for my mental health, when personally- that couldn't be farther from the truth.

So, I wanted to bring awareness to how our circumstances effect every one of us differently. Because for some, all of those statements may be true, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone and we have to be careful to not just lump every person and every situation into a box. Because as soon as we start doing that, we start invalidating people's feelings and experiences.

The other day, in the midst of a lot of tears, Dustin gently reminded me that God will use my story to help others. I'm exhausted from that. I'm exhausted with all I have to endure just to be used. But James 1:2-4 reminds me that it is worth it and Psalm 121:1 reminds me of where my strength comes from. So I may be weary, but I have to press on.

In Julia's situation, knowing that she could quit was such a relief for her and that's exactly what she needed to do. She just needed to hear someone else take that pressure off her and give her permission to do what was best for her entire well being.

In my case, I've had women in support groups tell me to quit breastfeeding & pumping altogether for my mental health. That's what most people believe is the answer to that issue. But that's not the case for me. Throwing in the towel now would be worse for my mental health and so I keep on. In my case, knowing I can quit, gives me permission to press on in a different direction. It's giving me permission to get Hayden nourished through formula while I figure out what the heck is going on with my body and continue to pursue my supply through various forms of exercise, nutrition and pumping techniques. Am I happy about it? Absolutely not. But this isn't a situation that can be dependent on what I feel like doing or not doing. Maybe down the line God will give me permission to say “I'm done”, but not yet.

Julia's story is inspiring to me because in my mind, formula was never, ever an option. And yet it was running through my mind the week's leading up to that doctors appointment where we were forced into it because I knew my supply was struggling and I knew I was doing everything I could. I knew that I was doing my best and it still wasn't enough. As much as that sucks I had to face reality, but I would never be able to make that decision myself because it went against my personal belief system. It took someone saying “you need to quit this method and do something else” for me to be able to fully step into that, even if I did go kicking and screaming and truthfully, I continue to be unhappy. That's the thing, no one ever said that this whole process would be easy. In fact, it's the farthest thing from easy. But I thank God that I can lean into Him and cry when everything is falling apart and my heart is utterly broken.

Although the original decision to put him on formula drove my mental health to a worse state, it's slowly starting to get better and better as I'm able to start reclaiming parts of myself that I had to give up to breastfeed exclusively. It doesn't take the pain away but it lessens the sting just a bit.

I'm not sure where your mental health is at right now or what you're facing, but I think that permission, those words we don't hear often, “you know you can quit?” aren't just for me and Julia. I believe they are out there for some of you too.

Maybe it's a relationship that's gone stale that you're afraid to leave because things are generally comfortable, but you know it's not right for you.

Maybe it's a job that's been making you miserable but you feel an obligation to stay.

Maybe it's the place you're living, the people you're spending time with or a project that just never seems to end and it's all going nowhere.

I'm not sure what it is for you, but I encourage you to get really honest with yourself and remember that quitting doesn't always just mean walking away before you've given something a fair chance. Sometimes walking away is the difference between being miserable and in a really bad place and walking into what God has been trying to bring you into all along.

Pray and seek guidance and wisdom as to which direction you are supposed to go and then go after it. Lean into the strength and wisdom of the “One who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” – Ephesians 3:20.

It may not be the most comfortable journey you will ever take, but it will be worth it.

xoxo – Ry

How easy is it for you to dream?

Do you quickly fall into hazes where you picture the future full of possibility and exciting moments?

Do you find yourself staying in that place of hope and excitement? Or do you, like most of the world, myself included, knock yourself right out of that state and back into reality before you have time to even let it flourish?

I've had a lot of dreams.

I've had a lot of dreams come true, desires that were so deeply rooted that even some of my closest friends were unaware of them.

Then I've had dreams that have come and went in the blink of an eye.

Then there's the dreams that I think about often. The ones that I don't know how to make happen, or at least they can't happen yet. They're the one that continue to evolve and grow and marinate and when the day is right the pieces start to fall into place and I'm able to pursue it. Some dreams are more easily pursuable than others, but nonetheless I go after them.

One dream in particular was to create a brand for myself, one where I could genuinely help women and share their stories. One where I could utilize my writing skills and invite people into sharing their lives with me in hopes that we'd become a more understanding and loving generation of women.

I've tried this over the years, many times, but it never quite worked. That is, until this year, when it was supposed to work.

It's interesting to me that when we talk about dreams we rarely talk about how they can start and evolve and die off and come back again. When referring to broken dreams we often reminisce on “what could've been” rather than what could still be.

I think it's easy to get wrapped up in failure and feel like for every dream we only have one shot. When in reality, that's the furthest thing from the truth.

Every time I failed- the flourish program 1.0, 2.0 & 3.0, my business where I was empowering women to build their own businesses & stop settling for a life they didn't love- I thought it was over.

Three times I failed and three times I thought I was done.

But sometimes you just need to live a little more life experience and the right timing to make a good idea better and for everything to fall into place.

When we let go of what we thought a dream would look like and let it take flight and reshape itself, sometimes we find what we never knew we always wanted.

In my case I thought for sure I was supposed to help entrepreneurs. Now I know that in reality I am supposed to be open to helping far more people than that get through situations that I’ve been through myself.

My original dream came back, it just looks a little different than I thought it would. But that appears to be a good thing.

It’s not been easy to let go, but it’s been worth it.

It’s funny because although dreams are always hard work to fulfill, when it’s the right timing and place and circumstances- it just seems to feel easy. The words roll off your tongue, the ideas continue to flow and things just work.

If I had to give any advice it’s that, you can push against the resistance all you want, but you may just be better off taking a break and stepping back to see the bigger picture. While you were pushing on a wall that just wouldn’t come down, a few feet to the left was a door for you to walk right through. By stepping back you can see the door and step into your dream refreshed and ready to work hard.

So what dreams have you given up on?

Are you working on one right now that’s giving you a lot of trouble?

Have you rested, prayed, meditated or stepped back from it?

I encourage you to, you may just be surprised at how quickly and easily things fall into place- it may just look a bit different than you expected it to.

Here’s to following our dreams!

xoxo – Ry

Hey loves,

I just wanted to catch up and give you a raw look into the last week of our lives. When I say raw it most certainly is because a. I'm a mess and b. a stupid telemarketer cut the video off halfway through and I didn't know so I had to reshoot the last half & I am clearly grumpy about it.

I am going to be talking about some of the feeding issues we’ve had, so if you’re a pumping mom or dealing with a formula transition, you may want to give it a watch.

That being said, if you're not into the life update kinda thing, I have a quick takeaway for ya.

Share your story.

You never know who is one step ahead of you and can help you.

You never know who is going through what you're actively going through and can support you.

You never know who is going through what you've been through that you’re going to be able to help.

Sharing stories is one of the most important things we can do. If you're a woman with a story you'd like to share, I'd love to hear it & consider sharing it on the Solidarity Podcast in April or May. Starting this week, every other week I'll be sharing someone else's story as that was the whole point of the podcast- to elevate other women's voices.

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=535439646637688781

Your story can be how you overcame a situation, any kind of life experience or it could simply be a fun or encouraging story that will help someone get through a hard moment. I'm truly open to anything. If you'd like to share please DM me on Instagram or Twitter (@riley_quin) or send me an email – riley@rileyq.com.

Much love to you all,

xoxo – Ry

I don't know about where you live, but in Tennessee March marks the beginning of spring. After a week of unusual southern snowstorms, I am basking in the 50's & sun.

Spring used to be my least favorite season. It's a completely different experience in Michigan. Dreary, cold, slushy & very few sunny days until you're into mid-late April. It's not pleasant and I truly dreaded it every year. Now I'm privileged to get to experience sunny, warm days from March all the way through October and even November. That's one of the greatest perks of living in the south. Sure, we get stormy days and rainy weeks but there is a lot more life in the air, earlier on.

When I think of spring I see it as a season of new growth, a chance to bloom and blossom. A chance to rake out what you don't need & replace it with what you do.

This can be physically, mentally, and spiritually. Working on your surroundings is almost as important as working on yourself.

Last year, I felt like just as spring was beginning, life was squashed. It's officially been a year since the great pause began and I'm frankly done with it. I'm done with letting the circumstances and choices of the world effect how I live my life and see myself and my surroundings. Emily P. Freeman said in her podcast this week, “It's time to start dreaming again”. I wholeheartedly agree.

So let's dust off the cobwebs together.

Here is a guide that I created a few years back but I recently decided to update with my current methods, views and with tried & true tricks that have worked for me. I've also thrown in a few worksheets as well.

You can grab your free e-book, “Spring Cleaning: Decluttering the Mind, Body, Heart & Soul” right here!

Make sure to check your spam & promotions inbox as it can tend to get lost sometimes.

I hope you love it and I hope it helps you hit the reset button this spring. Here's to new blooms & new beginnings! 🌾

xoxo – Riley Q