wah... it's been 10 days since my last post. and it was just a photo haha..
how's life? mine is awful.
i've been trying to understand people, especially the closest ones. but seems like no one understand me, or at least try to. i don't know why people around me keep pointing their fingers at my business, my matters, my life.
“do this”“do that”“this is for the best”“stop over thinking! you should endure this”“they know what's the best for you obviously”“you should've been grateful tho”“shouldn't you do that instead?”
my head feels like gonna explode, too much controlling! but guess what?
i always lost the debate, lost on emphasizing my opinion. hahahahaha...... ha....
so yeah, i don't know anymore. i can't write a poem, i can't take a single photo, i'm sleepless due to stress.
whoever read this, i hope you have a nice day. i hope you be happy even for the smallest thing. i wish for myself too, of course. fighting!
rather than asking why,
i should find the answer of how
i should've not run in a circle
of why this, why that
i should stop myself
from blaming anything, or worse
my own self
isn't it better to figure out how
to resolve this
to calm down the noises in head
to find myself again
if i do that,
isn't everything gonna be okay again?
this thought about why or how, i got it from my friend's story.
she's in the midst of finding an answer to her problem. when i suggested her to write down everything she wanna tell from her heart and mind, suddenly she said “i should've looked for the answer of how to solve this rather than asked why did they do that to me”.
welp, it hit me hard. so, i thanked her for reminding me too. she's right, it will be much better if we ask ourselves how to this and how to that, to get out from the problem. asking why is good too, but sometimes... “why” itself can lead us to be overthinking and ends up we blaming ourselvesㅡ which is not good, eh. we just run in a circle with no exit door.
so, yeah. have a good day, everyone! hope you find your problem solving~