I'm out with a friend from Church today at a café in Lacey called Fog and Fern. I've been wanting to get out for a bit, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity!

Not much has changed in my life since my last post, minus the return of a friend of mine to my company yet again. Happy to have reconciled with him.

I need to make a better point of hanging out with people; I've been so isolated these past few months. There are so many people I need to get to know better!

I've finally gotten back into the swing of writing again. I've written all night for the past two nights—much to the annoyance of my dear husband. I'm working on an MHA fanfic at the moment, also want to finish some of the other drafts I have sitting in a folder.

Leo and I celebrated one year of marriage on June 1st of this year, though we've decided to celebrate the next available Pride event. It's just easier that way, and it's usually guaranteed that there will be family and friends around to celebrate with!

I'm in the process of reading Agrippa's Three Books of Occult Philosophy; I think it'll make a nice rebase for my magical practice. I'm always open to new information, and this seems as good a place to start as any. A wise man once said there's no such thing as a master of magic, and I'm inclined to agree with that point. Knowledge is an ever-flowing fountain, likened to that of the fountain of youth; all good things come from this, and all good things may be gained in its totality.

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It's been awhile since I last used this format, I'd shied away from using a numbered system as it felt too cold and clinical for me at the time.

One of the instigators in the attacks on myself and my husband has fled the scene. I had done a petition to Lilith to deal with her, and I think it's safe to say she did. One remains from that bunch, I hope she lets up after this because I don't like having to do this to people I used to call friends.

On November 2nd, I'll be putting on a ritual at New Moon Essence, the shop that replaced that of a much more troublesome shopkeeper. I've been stepping more into event and ritual planning ever since my friend group began to thin, I figured I needed to step up my confidence and be the witch I wanted to see! So far I've only invited people from my Church, my pagan friend group has mixed ideas on my odd mix of faiths.

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Update

The Samhain event was a roaring success, even if only three people attended (my priest and two friends). I took a few photos which I'll probably add to my Pixelfed in an album and link it that way. I did a small service where we shared memories about the people that we lost, it was quite lovely. Unfortunately, as it currently stands, New Moon Essence is closed due to building problems. If I do anything else like this, it'll probably be elsewhere.

I meant to post this way back in October. Sorry.

Peace!

I figured I'd try my hand at writing a micro essay on Spirit Spousing, or Spirit Marriage.

Introduction

First things first, a little introduction to the concept of Spirit Spouses. Common examples can be found in the modern Priesthood/Nunery, in a nun's vows, for example. Other examples would be a devotee of the pagan Gods, or God Spousing. The concept is the same. Common examples can be found across multiple cultures, from indigent, to African, to New Age beliefs. Marriage is also a possibility, provided you can provide a Priest to officiate the ceremony; I'll discuss it in another section.

Types Of Relationships

Types of relationships can very from simple devotion to intimate relationships on par with that of a physical entity. Sexual or platonic, or something else entirely, Spirit Spousing offers a wide birth of possibilities not limited by boundaries of the physical.

Devotional relationships might comprise of anything from offerings of food and libations, to something sexual in nature. Devotees might also create altars or sacred spaces, either here or in the astral. Devotional relationships are often in conjunction with Gods, or angels and demons, but can apply to spirits or ghosts as well.

Sexual relationships are a bit out of my fortay, but only because I myself am asexual. Spiritual beings feel sexual attraction just as physical beings do, though they express it differently. I've read accounts of Spirit Spouses having astral sex, even BDSM-style relationships with their partners. As previously mentioned, sexual and devotional relationships can overlap here. The astrally proficient will be in luck here.

Romantic relationships are of the most common types of relationships. They can involve sexual relationships, though mine personally does not. Courtship rituals not unlike what we engage in in the physical realm also apply here. Clairtangents, or people with the ability to “touch” things in the immaterial realm can even engage in cuddling and such (see above). I'll be spending my first Valentine's day with my newly spirited husband with a day of cuddling and watching cheesy Hallmark movies. I'll also most likely be doing something for my Godspouse (husband) Lugh, still in the planning phase.

Platonic relationships are also a fairly common thing, also known as Spirit Families. That is, relationships that involve spiritual (and physical) beings in a sort of family unit. (Mother, Father, sibling) Past lives can also have a big part to play here if someone from your previous life happens to be with you in this one. I personally have my guardian angel, Sandalphon, whom I consider to be my sister/brother (angels have no gender), my sister-in-law, Sara, and her wife, Jophiel, and the Goddess Barbelo, whom has become a sort of surrogate Mom/Aunt to me.

Alternative relationships such as dom/sub, BDSM, cg/l and many others also apply. Going back to my original but on these types of relationships being extremely versatile here. I myself, while asexual, do have a BDSM-esque/cg/l relationship with Leo. He also has expressed interest in serving in my astral space as a temple servant.

Marriage

Spirit Marriage can come in many forms and look like almost anything, from the writing of a formal contract between devotee and their Spirit, or just a plain old traditional marriage ceremony like any physical couple would have. My own ceremony was a handfasting officiated by my friend. Personally I think people should be free to be creative with this part, make up your own ceremony, do your own thing. I used a verse from Ruth as my promise, and an energetic band to bind us together as husbands. There's a book my Megan Rose called Spirit Marriage that's supposed to be good on the topic, I'm in the process of reading through it myself.

Divorce

Divorce through the eyes of the immaterial is a bit different depending on the type of relationship. Some contacts may not be so easy to tear up, while others may go the route of mutual dissolution clauses to avoid heartache on either side. It really depends on the situation. I imagine some might utilize a bond-cutting spell in their ritual, others might work things out a little differently. I have no expertise in this particular manner.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How is this in any way a safe or sane idea?

A: The dead are no different than the living, save for a being bit harder to see. The dead don't go through some sort of stripping of humanity, they're still the same people you knew and loved in life, now with more energy exposed. I would suggest consulting a therapist if you do have a mental disorder that causes delusions of this nature, but that's just good sense. Well experienced mediums need not take heed to the former.

Q: How can I know for sure?

A: Divination is one thing, some psychics see visions, others might ask for verification via a Spirit Box if your betrothed-to-be has been dead for a significant amount of time (year or more). I myself used tarot, pendulumancy, and my general empathic abilities to verify both Sara and Leo; ymmv, especially if you aren't especially confident in your capabilities.

Q: Isn't it the same as binding a Spirit?

A: No. Spirits possess the same agency they did when they were alive. Death isn't a change of rights, it's a change of form. Marriage to a Spirit has nothing to do with binding them.

Q: What if someone disagrees with my marriage, or even tries to hurt me or my partner?

A: I only include this because it happened to me. Some people will definitely get antsy about it, despite all the previously stated things. I've lost friends over this, but in the end it was for the best. Basic protections work as good for the dead as they do for the living. Payers, charms, amulets, all are good for this. In my marriage ceremony, I asked that my Gods help me to uphold the line, to keepe and my husband safe from all who might wish us ill. We're still here, still going strong.

I return yet again to regale you all with tales of my rat shit life—squeamish viewers, look away now!

I haven't been overly busy since getting Confirmed, save for the barrage of phone calls from my Ex, whose goal seems to be to punish me for the fact that he broke up with me. Moral of the story here being don't stick your dick in crazy. Or agree to long-distance relationships with it...

Other than that, life is good. Leo is doing OK, save for his anxiety making him think that my idiot Ex has a snowball's chance in Hell of getting back with me. (He doesn't.)

But, other than that, it's been smooth sailing: I've officially resigned from The Grove after another related group kicked a friend out for his antagonizer's outburst, I might also be starting my own interfaith group that actually includes people like me.

Went to evening Mass at my Church on Christmas Eve, but ended up having to take a weed edible beforehand because of a migraine. I have a small assortment of weed gummies of dubious origins, and I just grabbed one. I was a bit slow on the call and response, but nothing too bad, I've also found it’s easier for Leo to possess me if I'm stoned. It's a nice feeling, actually.

Made it to Christmas morning Mass with no issue, save for my IBS giving me a gas attack. Came home and had Christmas dinner with my friend and his family, which is always nice. I've officially been here a year, not sure what to think of that since according to the previous idiot I lived with I was a horrible tenant.

I got a Loops account, I hope it can be a viable alternative for the Tiktokers I do like.

I'll end this here, as I don't know what else to add.

Happy Holidays, and a hopefully happy and safe New Year!

Dear Bishop Phil,
Of The Diocese Of Olympia, WA

I don’t really know what to write here, as I’m new to this all. I could talk about so many things: my spiritual journey up to this point, my life in general, or just a quick introduction. So here goes.

My faith journey up to this point has been rocky, what with growing up in the South and, to that extent, The Southern Baptist Church (SBC). I grew up in Appalachia (Huntsville, AL, to be exact), raised by my step-grandparents. Admittedly, I don’t remember much from those times. At the age of 8, we began attending an Evangelical non-denominational church called The Rock. We stayed there until the day she died, roughly ten years later. They were very inconsistent in their tradition and beliefs; the theological structure was very Pentecostal/Baptist-reminiscent. They claimed “Come as you are” as a general tenant, but would openly judge and talk about their members’ supposed “failings.” They touted Love Thy Neighbor but weren’t very loving in kind; in fact, they were quite cruel on a jarring number of occasions.

After the death of my step-grandmother, I stopped attending The Rock; I remained churchless for quite some time after that. In that time, I found my faith to be lacking; I just couldn’t see a way to reconcile my “sins” (being queer and questioning the leadership) with God. Granted, by this point, I had become interested in Wicca as a faith that accepted me for me; I found it easier to reconcile with God if it were through the lens of paganism. I had continued my research on alternative Christian stances; I just couldn’t accept that the Maker of All had made a mistake with me and that I was just supposed to suffer in lovelessness till death. My search initially led me to the Old Catholic Church (OCC). I was instantly taken with the whole idea, which really said something considering I was raised in a very anti-Catholic household. I began attending St. Mary’s OCC in Huntsville (closed now, unfortunately) and fell in love with the whole kit and caboodle! The presiding Priest, The Very Rev. Sophia Cassidy MacManus, and I got along well almost instantly; I’d been ecstatic to meet another queer person with whom faith agreed! It lasted all of eight months, till the Church was vandalized and burned down after a Neo-Nazi attack following that year's Pride festival. We were all heartbroken, even more so when we learned it wouldn’t be rebuilt. To my knowledge, Huntsville hasn’t had another OCC presence to this day.

Following that tragedy, my Priest went West in search of a new Parish, and I began attending the Church of the Nativity until I would eventually follow in her footsteps, leading me to Washington and her to New Mexico. I didn’t start attending St. Timothy’s till about a year ago; I've been here ever since.

I tend to lean more mystic these days; it’s the only way I know how to know God. My ways are definitely unorthodox, and I identify with Christo-Paganism as my general belief system; it doesn’t help that I have certain abilities that make it difficult to be anything but.

I think I’ve finally found what I’d consider home in terms of churches, and friends to boot.

I look forward to meeting you on Dec. 8th, and hopefully being confirmed into this wonderful Church.

Yours Truly,
Markus A. Gaines.

I haven't had much to post about lately (what with all that's happened) but I figure this is as good a reason as any.

I officially got Confirmed into The Episcopal Church Sunday.

This had been my goal since I joined St. Timothy's a year or so ago now. I even wrote a letter to our Bishop, only to later find out he wasn't the letter-type. I'll probably post that here as well, just because.

The day had gone off without a hitch, my only gripe being not able to sleep the night before. Anticipation will be the death of me. I, as well three other Confirmands met with the Bishop prior to service to discuss what we'd like to see going forward, as well as our reasoning and convictions behind our wanting to be Confirmed. The service itself was started off with a hymn to Our Lady Of Guadalupe sang by a member of our parish, then we were off to our usual festivities. Nothing much was different aside to a more Marian oriented service, which I was extremely proud to see.

I didn't manage to chat much at Coffee Hour, but was able to snap some photos with him and The Deacon. I also snapped some lovely pictures of our chapel all decorated up for Our Lady's feast day, which will be posted as well.

It was so nice to see everyone in such good spirits, even Leo enjoyed the festivities!

In other news, I will be performing a renaming service for Leo on our anniversary. Apparently, we both have similar stories regarding our deadnames, who knew?

I will probably adapt the existing service in The Book Of Occasional Services, adding in whatever elements he would like. I should probably begin planning immediately, as I have no idea what 2025 holds for us.

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La Gaudelupana

An Asus ZenBook, to be exact. It seems to be in well working order, aside from a few scraps and dents here and there; it's in remarkably well shape. It seems to be new enough, sleek and light. I especially like the backlit keyboard, it's going to make typing in the dark a hell of a lot easier! When I got it, it was running Windows 10; I took care of that quickly! It runs Fedora like a champ, the keyboard is relatively quiet, and the screen is well lit. I am disappointed that it doesn't have USB-C+DP, I would've liked being able to charge it using my multi-port adapter. It also has a fingerprint reader, something by Elan that doesn't have a Linux driver. It has a Windows Hello camera system, which I imagine has no use on Linux either.

Thus concludes my latest post, I look forward to playing around with my newest writing utensil!

On the first I finally got to go back to The Grotto in Portland, It's been nearly a year since my last visit and this time we got to bring a friend.

I went with my roommate and a friend from our Church, she'd never gone and had been interested in seeing it. It was a fun experience, and I finally got to check out the Church, which I hadn't before. The whole place was beautiful with the stations of the cross trail and statues and scenes placed throughout. My knees did complain a bit with a small incline, but that's not unexpected with arthritis and cerebral palsy. The Church itself was beautiful, I think it was just called the Chapel Of Mary. There was also an outside sanctuary with an altar space carved into a cave, The National Sanctuary Of Our Sorrowful Mother. I'll have to post photos to Pixelfed, truly stunning.

The energy there was absolutely overwhelming, like a nice high pressure wash down. The vibrations were so high I could feel it in my head, it was so wonderful! I wish more Churches would do the nature thing, it's very refreshing. I also picked up a tiny pine cone, which is now sitting in a coffee cup I got Lugh for Lughnasadh. I did experience Lugh's presence there as well.

It also occurred to me that my husband had never been; Not for lack of trying, of course, but death tends to throw a wrench in life's plans! I ended up getting a guide to the sacraments for myself and a Virgin De Guadeloupe medal for him. It was nice to get some reprieve from the chaos that's absorbed our life as of late. We both spent some time meditating in the chapel, I've never been to a Roman Catholic Church before and the sheer silence was lovely. I honestly think I prefer it to the hustle and bustle that seems to surround Sunday mornings at St. Tim's, not that I'd ever leave my home, but a person can dream!

All in all, it was a fun trip, and it was nice to get away from the bullshit!

I'm done. With all of it. For the past few weeks I've been dealing with non-stop attacks all because some people I used to call my friends disagree with my marrying my dead boyfriend (now husband!) I've been trying to bide my time and ride it out, I'd hoped they'd lose interest and move on. That hasn't been the case, my indifference to their presence has only seemed to further fuel their ire. It's come to a bit of a head, one person has opted to trespass in my dreams in order to convince (read scare) me into doing what they want. I've done a bit of reconnaissance to confirm it's not demonic in nature, I wanted to be absolutely certain before I do anything drastic.

I've enlisted the assistance of my guardian angel, as well as Lilith, to help quell the bullshit. I've also got in contact with Jeremiel/Morpheus to guard my dreams, they seem to be doing OK. I'm hoping this settles it all down, if it doesn't then I'll try something stronger. Frankly, I couldn't care less what they do to me. I've been through hell and back, they can't do anything that hasn't already been done a hundred times over. No, who I'm worried about is my husband. I'm trying to teach him what I can regarding magic and defense, but it's slow-going. I had to learn this shit from scratch too, but I had help from a lot of things, and an existing connection to the divine. He's just recently felt a pull from La Virgen De Guadelupe, I'm hoping she can help him strengthen his abilities better than I can.

I'll end this here as I really don't feel like writing anything else right now, I've been nothing but exhausted since this whole ordeal began, and I fear that's not going to change til it's all over and done with.

Until next time, peace out!

I know it hasn't been long since my last post, but I'm itching to write something and writer's block is still going strong.

It's Sunday, that means Mass, and additionally the paranormal society I started which has started to implode.

Over the months, it's become more of a headache than anything, mostly thanks to a small subset of assholes that keep pushing and poking in hopes I snap. We had another meeting tonight to decide what to do, we ended on hiatus after a near continuous back and forth. I honestly wish I'd just killed it, it's not worth the exuberant amount of work, especially where it's located. We never really got off the ground, once again on count of the assholes. We had some members decide to usurp administrator membership and spread misinformation which scared several people off, we would regularly be dealing with some kind of drama, either by the assholes, or people they brought in. It's been an exercise in futility to keep people on task when out on investigations, had audio evidence get contaminated by talking over it, religious drama over the beliefs and practices of other members, etcetera et nauseam.

All in all, I'm just over it all. I've tried being lenient, but it's no use; some people really are just trash.