Calm down, folks. It's called s-a-t-i-r-e.

You've read the rest of the blogs... now read the best.

This is all about CasinoCoin. Some people refer to it as CSC.

CasinoCoin is really cool. It combines the best things: Casinos and coins. Blockchain coins.

I think CasinoCoin will do really good. There are partnerships and you can use it to gamble without having to use dollar bills. They are pretty dirty and CasinoCoins are clean and on your phone or something like that.

It's also on the XRP ledger which means its fast and I think it might have something to do with David Schwartz. He's a really smart nerd.

Anyhoo, buy up CasinoCoin if you want a really cool coin.

Thank you.

ALL of the best insightful blogs and STUNNING crypto news is here... .

In a move that shows they are truly forward-thinking and willing to embrace emerging financial technology, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) announced Thursday that they will now accept the cryptocurrencies Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP for all of their levied fines.

“We dole out MILLIONS of dollars of fines a year,” said Gary Gensler, current SEC Chairman, “and we're always looking for easier ways to get paid. With cryptocurrency—especially XRP—wowee! It's such a great payment mechanism. It was a no-brainer, really.”

SEC Chairman Gary Gensler expressing his excitement about the commission now accepting digital currencies like XRP for all of their millions in annual levied fines in a Zoom announcement Thursday.

The commission was forced to defend itself after the announcement, particularly from the online 'XRP Community,' who pointed out that the current SEC lawsuit against blockchain payments company Ripple is claiming that XRP is a security rather than a currency.

“Okay, but it's easy to explain,” said Gensler to XRP_Productions reporters. “Is XRP a security? Yes. Is it an excellent-to-use currency? Yes. Are we gonna get rich by fining Ripple and being paid a boatload of it? Yes. What's so hard about all of this?”

XRP the Standard Productions

Tired of seeing outrageous pumps from other coins with seemingly nothing more than cute doggy characters representing their products, global holders of the digital asset XRP adopted a new mascot Tuesday, 'Zerpaay the Shar Pei'.

“It's perfect,” said 4-year XRP holder and manic depression-awareness advocate Leonard Mingus, “Zerpaay is an adorable little fella that wants XRP to moon and accidentally drops little 'oopsies' whenever he sees an SEC logo. If THIS doesn't get the market to move for XRP, nothing will!”

Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse showing his support of the new global XRP mascot, 'Zerpaay the Shar Pei,' a promotional puppy meant to draw market fervor similar to other adorable dog-centric coins like Dogecoin and Shiba Inu.

Despite the obvious promotional possibilities, some in the XRP community are dismayed by the new mascot, pointing to a recent quote from Klaus Schwab to show that it may have had a detrimental effect on the digital asset.

“We may have to change our minds about making XRP the official global currency,” said Schwab, Executive Chairman of the World Economic Forum. “I mean, this shit is just so silly...”

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Reportedly cutting an impressive rug while imbibing heavily, Brad Garlinghouse, CEO of blockchain payments company Ripple partied the night away with Tesla and SpaceX mogul Elon Musk at a cryptocurrency conference in Miami Thursday, an event that many are speculating will be very bullish for the digital asset XRP.

“I saw them partying together and I thought, 'hmm... interesting',” said entrepreneur and former TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington to XRP_Productions reporters. “This could have some very serious implications for XRP...”

Elon Musk enjoying a marijuana cigarette with Ripple CTO David Schwartz during a podcast in 2020. The Tesla CEO was spotted partying with Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse in Miami Thursday, continuing to pique the interest of XRP holders worldwide.

While publicists for Ripple and Garlinghouse have been silent on the matter, a spokesperson for Musk has issued what many are considering a very suspicious statement.

“Nothing to see here... Elon knows nothing about XRP, the greatest, fastest, most environmentally friendly digital asset ever created,” said Musk representative Leonard Mingus in a press statement. “He only knows about Doge and Bitcoin. Wink, wink...”


Knowing that it's only a matter of time before they come to work there anyway, investment firm One River Asset Management has proactively hired the entire staff of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Thursday.

“It was my suggestion,” said highly-paid One River advisor Jay Clayton, himself a former SEC Chairman who joined the Bitcoin-heavy investment company immediately after leaving the commission last December. “I mean, it really is a natural progression.”

Gary Gensler, the newest Securities and Exchange Commission chair-turned One River advisor after the investment firm proactively hired every single member of the current SEC.

In completely swallowing the entire SEC staff, One River hopes to have much better success getting the approval for their highly-sought Bitcoin ETF.

“The plan is all coming together,” said Clayton to XRP_Productions reporters. “Oh, and coincidentally, One River lawyers now have to take over the litigation against Ripple...”


Never afraid to throw its weight around, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) relocated its headquarters to Singapore Sunday to begin “reining in troublesome countries that are making progress with sensible and efficient crypto regulations.”

“I haven't been at the SEC for long,” said new chairman Gary Gensler to XRP_Productions reporters, “but long enough to understand that the SEC's role is to subvert innovation and levy huge fees. What better way to do that than to expand our jurisdiction to other countries that have already innovated?”

Newly-appointed SEC Chair Gary Gensler pointing to a map on his wall while telling XRP_Productions reporters which countries the commission will be squatting in over the next few years to “slap down already-established crypto-regulatory progress” and “issue ginormous fees... cha-ching!”

Though many in the cryptocurrency space are infuriated by the move, some are amazingly unsurprised—holders of the digital asset XRP being the most unfazed.

“SEC moving to Singapore to punish their crypto regs?” said 4-year XRP holder Leonard Mingus. “Yup. Sounds about right.”

*Truth. Honor. Integritude.*

XRP the Standard Productions.

A day after hiring former U.S. Treasurer Rosie Rios, blockchain payments company Ripple has announced the acquisition of U.S. President Joseph Biden to its highly-esteemed Board of Directors.

“We're proud to have Joe join us,” said Executive Chairman and former Ripple CEO Chris Larsen to XRP_Productions reporters, “as we usher the world into the inevitable payments network of the future.”

Joseph Biden announcing his appointment to the Ripple Board of Directors during his day job as President of the United States.

The news, though significant in some circles in the digital asset world, failed to catch the eye of most main-stream media outlets such a CNBC, who instead chose to spend three hours talking about the recent Dogecoin price rally.

“That's okay,” said current Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse of the lack of media coverage. “Oh yes. That's just the way we want it. Muahahahaaaa...”

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Scratching his head in confusion while speaking with XRP_Productions reporters Sunday, Galaxy Digital CEO Mike Novogratz said the digital asset XRP is 'a crypto that was literally pulled from a Cracker Jack box, with no earthly way to ever discern why it even exists or what it does.”

“Put together a team of the top thousand scientists in the world and study it for 100 years,” said Novogratz, polishing the bronze bust of Vitalik Buterin in his living room, “and they'll still be stumped. I'm telling you—XRP doesn't even have a good reason to exist in the universe.”

Mike Novogratz silently pausing for three hours in the middle of his interview with XRP_Productions Sunday, trying to think of one good reason for the existence of XRP. The Galaxy Digital CEO's thought exercise was unsuccessful.

When asked if his stance had anything to do with his heavy ties to proof of work cryptos like Bitcoin and Ethereum with known problems of massive energy consumption, network fees, and centralization in China, Novogratz laughed for three minutes straight and scoffed at the idea.

“Preposterous,” said Novogratz, dabbing beads of sweat from his forehead. “Absurd. Ridiculous. Hardee-har-har. This interview is over...”

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In a shocking move of support for their prized CTO Sunday, blockchain payments company Ripple has allocated a reported 25 billion of their holdings of the digital asset XRP to PayPal in exchange for the unlocking of David Schwartz's long-banned account.

“I had given up hope, frankly,” said Schwartz to XRP_Productions reporters in reference to the mysterious lifetime ban that had been administered ten years prior. “Little did I know, Ripple was working behind the scenes the whole time to help me out, and I guess they finally came to a price PayPal would agree to. I really do work for the greatest company ever!”

Tweet from payments giant PayPal about unlocking David Schwartz's account after a 25-billion XRP agreement.

While some hope that the move is actually a Trojan horse to get PayPal to start using XRP in their massive payment flows, Ripple attests it was simply looking out for the interests of a valued employee.

“We simply care about our people deeply,” said CEO Brad Garlinghouse. “Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make some arrangements to undo Asheesh Birla's Tinder ban...”


Gnashing his teeth while speaking candidly with XRP_Productions reporters Sunday, Ripple CEO Brad Garlinghouse admitted he was “extremely pissed... livid, actually” that actor Danny DeVito was cast to play him in the upcoming Ripple movie being produced by Netflix.

“I mean, the guy's a great actor, don't get me wrong,” said Garlinghouse of the diminutive, bald 76-year old screen legend, “But do I look ANYTHING like that? What the f*ck?”

Leaked on-set image of Danny DeVito portraying Brad Garlinghouse in the yet-untitled Ripple movie. The dynamic blockchain CEO is “beyond pissed” at the casting. Courtesy of Senior Staff Photographer FocusXRP.

Perhaps adding salt to Garlinghouse's wound, not everyone at the blockchain payments company is dismayed by the DeVito casting.

“It's perfect,” said Ripple CTO David Schwartz, himself reportedly being played by actor John Stamos in the film. “Of course DeVito is a bit taller than Brad in real life, but other than that, it's perfect.”

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