mr.gr3y

// 9:12 am

I've been up for several hours and have been rather lazy. I watched a few YouTube videos when I got up – mostly just recommended madness that didn't add value to my life in any way. Got some laundry started, showered, made some coffee and sat outside on my back patio and watched the sunlight getting more intense. It's an East facing balcony, and it's nice to get the early morning light, and stay disconnected as long as I can. Even to just sit and enjoy the cool air before the sun climbs higher in the sky, above our large mountain range, and really heats things up. My kitties all loved lounging outside as well, and immediately laser focus on any birds that fly by, or even land and dance around within view. The cats couldn't ever get to them, as we're about 15 feet up with an enclosed balcony, but I think they like the experience of just pretending to hunt. I've kept the cats as indoors cats on purpose, mainly to keep them from needlessly murdering a shit-load of birds. It's actually a huge problem and cats are responsible for billions of bird deaths every year, and some species are even at risk now due to cats. If you have any interest in it, just search it up online and see some crazy numbers.

My girlfriend brought over her cat when she moved in (I had two of my own prior) and she would let her cat roam free outside at her previous house. Of course, he would bring in multiple dead, or half dead, birds every week, meaning every year he probably killed 100+ birds, for no reason except the intense urge to hunt and kill. We've kept him inside as well, which I think he's enjoyed. At first, it was clearly a struggle, as he wanted to break free and roam the new neighborhood. But I think he's gotten used to the spoils of being an inside cat and living the life of luxury and convenience.

As the sun got higher in the sky, and the heat immediately began to increase in intensity, we moved inside, keeping the blinds mostly closed to help keep the heat down inside. We have been sitting in the living room – the main jungle room, with the bird sounds playing 24/7 – sipping coffee, browsing our laptops, and chatting.

My lady has a friend that is going through a rough time, and she wants to talk to her and basically share her feelings and opinions on her friend's “destructive behavior patterns”, in an attempt to 'shed some light on things'. I discussed a few points about why she feels she needs to do such a thing, instead of just letting her friend live her own life and do whatever she wants, without interference or judgment from someone else. We went deeper into that type of discussion. Overall, my point was that my lady only wanted to share her opinion in an attempt to get her friend to stop her behavior, so my lady didn't have to 'deal' with it any longer, basically, it was all a selfish attempt to control someone in order to cut out the experiences that weren't wanted, by my lady. If that makes sense.

(Sorry, I'm sure this isn't making sense at all. I just realized it would be easier if I used names instead of categories or titles, such as “the friend” or “my lady”, so maybe I'll make a pseudonym for people in the future).

She agreed with my comments and decided to not interfere with her friends decision to uproot her life and run to Hawaii, after a bad relationship experience. (My lady says anytime something happens, her friend will just uproot and “run away” and mask the issue and cover it up with overly-intense spiritual themed pathways about “her guides” telling her to leave, or “her flow” guiding her to do something, while never really looking withing and realizing her own self-destructive behaviors).

Anyways... She asked for my advice and I mentioned to just give her friend love, and then let it go entirely. Don't hold on to any expectations or demands, or limitations, and certainly to not place them on her friend. Give her love, encourage her own self-exploration and freedom, and just support her in whatever way she can without interfering. Putting boundaries on people, expectations, or making someone feel guilty, especially in response to a bad relationship experience, isn't ever fun for anyone.

Give love, let go.

Of course, the discussion was intensely deeper than just that basic summary, but with my own lack of interest in writing it all out, I'm fine with slaughtering the overall summary and letting it be that, above. haha.

---

Now, my favorite kitty is laying on my lap, covering one of my arms, as I write on my laptop (as he loves to lay ON things, such as arms, or legs, or shoes, or whatever). We're just enjoying the cool air inside my house.

No set plans for today. I think it'll be a pretty chill day. I'll probably work on some writing and brainstorming. The house does need to be cleaned up a little to get ready for a new week. And I'm sure we'll do some form of exercise and/or yoga today. I'll set up my calisthenic bar set that I got from www.baseblocks.fit (the double bars), and do some working out.

Oh, I just remembered I have a huge watermelon in the fridge that's ready to go, so there's breakfast/lunch! I'll go cut that now...

More later...

Give Love. Let go.

/mg

I'm watching the original Blade Runner now, on one of my computer screens (I have three), while I do other things (such as type this, right now) on my main screen, and the third being used for my messengers, such as Signal. This movie was released in 1982, I believe, with a young Harrison Ford playing the lead role. It's so weird to see the “Future” dates they use in the film as they are all around 2017, 2020, 2021, etc.

Of course, we're in that timeframe right now. It's our current reality. And clearly, we're nothing like this epic futuristic world we thought we'd be in. I mean, we're in a futuristic world, for sure, compared to when I was a kid. We have touch screens for just about everything. Instant communication around the world, the internet, and we're still doing some awesome space flights etc. But, we're not “sci-fi movie cool”.

It's just interesting to watch these kinds of movies, and it displays where we thought we'd be by now. But yet, here we are, experiencing what-is, and noticing how different we are from where we thought we'd be. Plus, noticing how pathetic we are as humans, and what silly things we worry about instead of expanding a unified consciousness.

Anyways... Just random thoughts.

More later..

/mg

//4:45 pm

The new tent is ready for business! I had to go to my parent's house and use their yard to set it up, as my brother (who lives closer to me, and originally told me I could use his yard) let me know they have some yard sale thing happening for most of the day. I'm surprised he didn't really tell me that earlier, instead of telling me that I could come over anytime and set up the tent and do what I needed to do. But, oh well. It turned out just fine to go to my parent's place. It was good to see them, as well.

We got the tent setup, which took a little extra time due to it being the first time. But overall it's a breeze. Definitely a 5-minute job for one person, even given the size and weight of it. After it was up, we all ooh'd and aww'd over it for a while, walking through the huge inside, and everyone tried out each zipper about four times. I was really excited, and so was everyone else. It's a beast of a tent.

Then I got busy spraying it down with the hose. This was done to soak the canvas material and expand it, and then when it dries, it shrinks down tightly and further enhances the waterproofing. It's something that I only need to do once, according to the company. It took about 15 minutes of spraying it all down, and I was careful to make sure I soaked every seam, corner, and inch of material – I wanted to make sure it was done right and done well. Then, we let it sit in the sun (well, partially shaded by some trees) to dry. It was kind of funny as we all sat around in the shade, watching a tent dry. We giggled at our own absurdity while admiring it and talking camping stories of old and hoping for future ones soon.

Camping is a huge part of my life. The outdoors are, in general. I love getting outside and hiking, camping, exploring, and just being. My parents always took us camping, and every year we did a long trip to Yellowstone with our entire family on my Mom's side. It was a huge event, and we grew up with that experience every year. It was very special to us then, and still is. It was those experiences at such a young age that made me fall in love with nature, with trees, with the wild.

Instead of just sitting around watching the tent dry, the parents decided to take us out to get some Mexican food, which was great. I didn't realize how hungry I was, as I hadn't eaten anything all day – only a few cups of coffee (with creamer, always) – so food sounded great. We went and picked some up and went back to their house and ate together, sharing more stories and laughs. I was a little nervous of my lady and how much time we were spending there. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or that we were hanging around too long, but she seemed to be enjoying herself.

After eating, and cleaning up, I checked on the tent again, and it was mostly dry, only a few small areas were still a little damp. It was getting bloody hot, so we ended up going downstairs where it was significantly cooler and chilling out while watching some shows. My lady sat in their large massage chair most of the time, and I doubt she had any issues with that. She offered me a turn, but I declined, letting her extend her pleasure. Happy wife, happy life, ya know!?

While they were a few episodes into a show called, Lie to Me, I snuck outside and got the tent put away, as I wanted to do it all myself to see how it was done. It only took a couple of minutes by myself, and it packed down pretty small, considering how large the tent is (10ft x 14ft). It's super heavy though, I think in the 90lb range with everything, but that's ok. I was feeling ready to go home after spending most of the day there with them. It was nice, and I think they enjoyed the company. We said our goodbye's, thank-yous, and gave hugs, and then my lady and I drove home. She ran off to do a few errands to buy girly things she needs, and I'm sipping on a cold fruit smoothie, writing this, and going to focus on some other writing projects and just take it easy. I feel like watching Blade Runner 2049, so that will be up shortly once the download completes.

I use the Casual subscription of Write.as, which is a plan that ended years ago, I think. But as I got on super early and was a part of this site when it was just being born, it's stayed with my account. I don't have all the features of the current pro plan, such as being able to post photos and such. Otherwise, I'd put photos in with these posts.

If you want to see the tent I have, just lookup Super Deluxe Kodiak Canvas Tent 6041VX.

I hope everyone is well.

More soon.

//mg

// 7:50 am

Good morning.

I didn't add any further notes yesterday because I kept busy with a variety of things. And plus, to be honest, I'm keeping this blog rather secret. So trying to write on it with others around will cause some questions that I don't want to be asked. It's not that I'm revealing anything about me or my life here that isn't appropriate. But, it is something that I guess you could say is a “safe space” for me? A place where I feel open to write whatever I want, at any time, and I'm not bound by any rules of a specific identity, especially my own. It's a wide open slate and I can express whatever I want, however I want.

Usually with my online blogs, other people know about it, who also know who I am in real life. So if I express something that isn't within the boundaries of the identity as they know me, it can cause some shock and awe. I've been through phases of intense drama before because I had written about my life openly, sharing thoughts and ideas, opinions and experiences, and the people who really knew who I was would get offended at certain opinions, or pushed away at certain views, or even just hurt because I didn't write about some event in the way they'd prefer I did, etc. You get it.

Having a phony identity is liberating in the online world, and allows more open, true, honest, expression.

So, I spent a good amount of time with my girlfriend yesterday afternoon, and even though I was on my laptop while she was watching some spiritual show on Gaia, I knew she could see my screen. Often times when we're in similar situations like that, or even when I'm on my huge geek station in the wide open area of the main floor, she'll question me on what I'm doing or looking up, etc. She's just curious, and trying to be involved in my interests. But, sometimes I just need uninterrupted time to let go, be creative, and not have to come out of that space to explain what I'm trying to do within that space. I get rather annoyed at it, honestly. But, she's trying to be a sweetheart, and so I smile and explain my internet and geeky shenanigans. I wanted to write a bunch of things, but let it go.

I'm waiting for coffee to brew as I'm writing this. My lady is still asleep, which is rare. Usually she's up earlier than me and makes us coffee. But, given she's in her lady time and probably feeling miserable, I decided to get up (when I naturally woke up) to feed the kitties (three of them) and get coffee going, plus to get a few quickie minutes to write out some thoughts.

Today I'm hoping to spend some time getting my new tent ready to go. As I live in a townhouse, and don't really have a backyard area that is large enough to set up this monstrosity of a tent, I need to use my brother's house, which he gladly offered, and is excited to see as well. I'll be going over there this afternoon to use his yard. The tent is 10'x14' and about 6'6” high. It's a monster. But I wanted a large and luxury setup as I already have several super light backpacking small setups. I'm 37 years old now, and I'm not a “mountain goat” anymore, where I climb straight up the mountain sides and camp in random places, like I used to. I now prefer the more luxury car camping setup, and love just getting out in nature without having to climb the mountain and fuggin' prove to myself that I can do it!! AHH!!.

Oh, the 20 yr old versions of me were fun. I guess I'm just old now?

I'm also hoping to get some alone time today to put the headphones on and go into one of my imaginary worlds that I intend to write out as a book, but have yet to really do so. I've been listening to the soundtrack from the movie, Blade Runner 2049, and it has some good tunes in there that match the world, texture, mood, and overall feel of the world I've created. Sometimes I put on the music and just go there, running through endless different scenarios in my head – which is what I spent a lot of time doing yesterday.

But, as I'm a raging perfectionist, I almost disable myself in making any progress because I run through endless versions of storyline ideas, characters, and what-ifs, and get stuck, trying to decide which one is the perfect one. Then I get frustrated at myself, and set it aside again. It's something I'm really trying to be better at.

Well, I'm going to get some coffee, take some to my lady upstairs, and sit outside for a few moments to enjoy the sunlight – screen free.

More later...

/mg

Well, I attempted the disappointing phone call to the lady that isn't getting the position. I knew it was going to bum her out, big time. She wanted it so badly. I finally decided to just rip the band-aid off and call her, instead of letting the anxiety get worse within me. So, I dialed and let it ring.

But, she didn't answer.

I waited about 15 minutes, and tried again.

No answer.

I didn't feel it appropriate to leave a voicemail with the bad news. So, I opted to just hang up again.

Not that an email is more or less appropriate, but I decided to just be lazy and send an email over to convey the bad news. It was the next best thing, right?

I kind of feel guilty doing it 'the easy way', but I'm not going to play phone tag with her all day, either.

So, it is what it is.

The email has been sent, the owner cc'd. Done and over with.

Now, my work day is over. A little longer than expected, but that's how it sometimes goes when I get stuck in a few things longer that I hoped for. We had volunteers out on the farm today helping my manager take care of the grounds, and I paused to chat with them a while and answer some questions, and even gave a little mini tour of our hydroponic greenhouse. People always want to see that – we call it 'the precious', in a Lord of the Rings Schmegal voice.

But yeah, workday is over. Weekend is here. I mean, it's only 1:15pm right now, so only working for about 3 hours on Friday isn't so bad. I have it pretty good.

I'm going to head out and do a few errands on the way home. Mostly just stopping at the grocery store to stock up for the weekend. I've been craving some sweet potatoes lately, and I'm going to go to one of the big box store's I have a membership at and load up on a bunch of key things: beans, quinoa, pasta, rice, potatoes, tons of veggies and fruits galore. Nothing bagged or processed, and certainly no junk (for me anyways). I also have several large bags of our own greens that I get to take home too – another perk of working on a farm is always having a constant supply of fresh greens, herbs, and veggies. A vegan's dream job.

My lady just messaged me via Signal (my main messenger app for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) with a request for “dark, salty chocolate”. So, I need to find that for her and be a good boyfriend. During her lady times, it's best if I just make things as cozy and comfy for her. Not only for her experience as she goes through that stuff, but also for myself.

I created two rules/guidelines for life that I live by:

1. Give Love, to yourself, and others.
2. Let go.

More later.

/mg

// 12:10 pm

I'm hiring a new manager at the farm, and have been interviewing for that position the last couple of weeks. This is a new manager spot that would oversee our farm stand, making sure it's operating well, it's cute, stocked well, all the data is tracked and making sure we're making money. I've narrowed it down to two ladies that are both fantastic, and would certainly do well. It was tough to make the final choice, but we've decided which one will get the job, and of course, which one will receive a call of disappointment, shortly.

I've already made the call to let the winner know, and of course she was excited. I'm not so excited to make the next call, and clearly I'm putting it off for a bit. I don't like these parts of being 'the boss' – having to fire, or pass on disappointing news. I think it just gives me some anxiety and I have to take a few minutes to work through it and build myself up to just ripping the band-aid off, and getting it over with. I've never liked it, even though I've done it countless times. It never gets easier than the time before.

I'm excited to move forward though with new staff and people in places and position that aligns well with their skills, passions and interests. Having the right people in the right role is essential.

I also have another employee that I believe has 'checked out' and is just doing enough to get by, clearly not motivated or interested in anything further. I'll most likely have to dissolve that position and let her go, as we've given her just about every opportunity we can think of to help her, including endless training, resources, materials, time, money and equipment to make things easier for her. But, when they don't have the motivation or drive to make things happen for themselves, that's hard to create for them. Not much I can do there.

Everyone is capable of creating the reality they want for themselves, and we do that through every moment of our lives; every conversation, every interaction, every pursuit, every choice (or lack thereof), all creates who we are. If you ever want something different, you can make it happen. But without that inner drive to put in the work, the time, the overall investment, nothing will change. So, at these times, with employees that come from that mentality, and don't appear to respond to any attempts we make to encourage and support a different mindset, it's time to go separate ways. Especially when I have people begging to work here that do have that inner drive and passion to create and make things happen.

I hate having to let someone go. Especially when it's been such a small crew, and everyone becomes good friends after working together closely every day for a couple of years. But, what am I to do? I feel that I've done more than enough to help this person out, and it hasn't done anything. They haven't made it happen for themselves.

Another part I have to remember, is, that even though this truly is a dream job, but, it's not everyone's dream. And that's ok. It's ok to want to do your own thing and try something new or different. I've walked away from 'dream jobs' and people thought I was nuts. But I knew it just wasn't for me. I knew I wouldn't be happy. It just didn't align with who I was, where I was going, and who I wanted to be. And that's ok. Leaving those spots, even though scary, ended up being a wonderful thing for me. I'm hoping it'll be the same for this other girl. It'll such to leave, but it could be the best thing for her.

I'll have to deal with that situation in the coming weeks. But for now, I'll celebrate the hiring of a wonderful and pumped up new manager that's excited to get to work and make the magic happen... just after I ruin another person's day.

Doing that phone call now...

More later.

/mg

// 9:30 am

Well, I got sucked into the dirty depths of the internet for a while this morning, getting lost in a forum on Reddit called “Trashy” or something similar to that. I didn't mean to get into that, but it's one of those things that just popped up when scrolling through my feed. And I think it's one of those horrific things that you see, but yet you can't look away? The more you scroll, the more disturbed you are, but for whatever reason you just keep going. And then 40 minutes later, you come back to reality and feel absolutely... well, disgusting and trashy. Blah.

I'm the type of person that would love a small little cottage in the forest, with my own solitude and privacy, away from the majority of society. It's not that I hate people, necessarily. I find beauty in just about everything, and usually tend to be pretty optimistic – even with my natural “punk rock” mindset and personality. I just don't align with the majority of society, and what the focus, obsessions, interests, and mindset are of the majority of society. I feel that I see the world differently, want different things, and crave a different type of experience than the mainstream population. Overall, I don't care at all about what others care about, to be blunt. I see things as illusions mostly – distracting “shiny shit” – and I try to live a bit more consciously, and use compassion as one of my guiding lights in this crazy world of so many dark things. Overall, I don't understand so many things. I realize that I'm a different type of person, and so I would rather put myself towards creating the world I want for myself, and my own experience, while doing all I can to be a light to the experience of others I come in contact with, and even those that I don't.

My house is a jungle, quite literally. I have hundreds of plants in my home. I do have a TV in my bedroom, but it's rather dusty from not being used that much. When it is used, it's for documentaries mostly. Sure, the occasional movie is played when the lady and I want to disconnect and be mindless for a while. But, with most shows and movies being based on situations, experiences, and energies that aren't the most positive or fulfilling, we tend to stay away from them. Usually when we watch a movie, we kind of regret it, as we notice how we feel afterwards, and it's not always the best. I mean, why consume murder and death and abuse and negativity as “entertainment”? Why subject yourself to watching others suffer and die? The human experience is rather weird sometimes, and when you really step back and look at ourselves, what we do, what we consume, what we create – and destroy – the brutality and suffering we create for other living beings, and ourselves, and even to what we use as “entertainment”, it's rather disturbing and depressing. We literally pay to watch murder, suffering, rape, and disaster. We like the thrill of it, apparently, and love to watch people suffer and arise from that suffering. But, man, is it hard to consume.

I fully believe that you become what you consume. And not only with food, but with all media as well: music, movies, shows, images, etc.

Anyway... my house is a jungle, as I said above. I have a crap-load of plants in my house, as I decided to create a little oasis for myself. A space of peace and love and welcoming. As I love nature and the outdoors, I felt the need to create that world within, so I can be surrounded by that stillness even when I can't get out in the mountains. I even ran a popular Instagram account focused on my home and plants and living more consciously, where I had tens of thousands of followers and growing rapidly. My home was even featured in some magazines and had some attention that way. I gave up IG years ago and don't use any social media anymore, except the occasional browse through Twitter or Reddit. But only occasionally and through a private browser, as I don't have any apps downloaded on my phone.

Instead of a TV in my main living area, I have plants. And also a little speaker that plays the sounds of a forest (bird sounds) 24/7. So when you walk into my house, you're immediately met with vines of leaves hanging from the entryway, leaves cascading down 20 feet from above. I have some humidifiers going that keep the air a little more moist and cool, and of course, the plants dump a lot of oxygen into the air. The first breath you take after coming into my home is meant to instantly relax you and transport you to a new world. You have to move around plants to get through my house, which was intentional. I wanted a deep connection with nature at all times, where you realize that you aren't just a part of nature, you ARE nature. And you're forced to exist in the same spaces together, as one. The bird sounds that play 24/7 only help to seduce you further into the experience. It's not difficult to sit on my couches, and feel the effects of the jungle-space, and just relax deeply in to the present moment.

I've done some meditation this morning, a little work on the laptop, and got side-tracked with Reddit and all that absurdity. Now, I feel disgusting, and need to get myself back “on track”. It's time to get ready to head out to the farm, and get a few things done that require me to be there physically. And then, it's the weekend!

I don't really have set plans just yet, except to get my new tent “seasoned”, which means I need to set it up, spray it down and soak it with water, which allows the cotton fibers to swell, and then tighten up when they dry, which helps in waterproofing the entire canvas tent. From then on, it should last a lifetime with proper love and care, which I fully intend to provide. Otherwise, my lady is entering her “lady time”, which means we'll be chilling the next few days, lounging in comfort, reading, meditating, and writing. I'll be whipping up some delicious plant-based meals for us and doing all I can to comfort her, while allowing space for myself to enjoy my own experience as well. More on all of that, later, I'm sure.

Well, off to the farm. Back soon.

/mg

// 6:45 am.

I got up a little earlier than usual, this morning – 6 am. I'm more of a morning person most of the time, especially when the sunlight is starting to come up. The blinds in my house don't do the best job of keeping the sunlight out. And instead of just laying there in bed, snoozing away, I figured I'd get up, enjoy some coffee, and maybe do some gentle morning yoga. I guess the YouTube yoga instructor uses the world “gentle” in place of “so damn easy, even lazy fugs like you, Mr. Gr3y, can do it”.

Yeah? Well... we'll see.

I'm 6'5 and being flexible isn't on the list of top 100 words to describe me, for sure. But, I'm working on it. Slowly. Really slowly. I mean, I rolled out the yoga mat and have it there, in front of me, ready to absorb my sweating and cursing. But, I decided to sip some coffee and then got distracted and now find myself on my laptop writing this, and watching my mind fill with other items that I need to put my attention to, instead of cursing and sweating: work things for the day, weekend fun, my new tent!, etc.

I'm a long-time practitioner of meditation, and usually I like to just sit in the mornings, or anytime, really, and will usually prefer that to the yoga stuff. Plus, I have these really deep couches, that when you sit in them, it feels like you're sitting on a long and super plush platform that you just melt into. It's perfect for sitting cross-legged and doing some meditation. And with me being so tall, couches usually feel so uncomfortable as they are so short in the seat area, and usually end at points where it cuts of blood flow to my legs, which hang off like long and slender spider legs from the body of the couch.

I bought these couches for a reason, after running around the furniture store sitting on dozens of couches to measure how well they fit a tall-freak like me. When I found the ones I have, it was a no-brainer. I sat cross-legged on them for about 15 minutes in the store. I even made the sales guy do it, too. I gave him a quick intro on how to meditate, and he sat there in the store and did it with me for a few minutes. So, naturally, when I sit on my couches now (or anytime in the last 15 years that I've had them), I prefer to “just sit”. Observe. Allow. Let things be. And be a witness to the chaos within me, and around me, instead of believing the illusion that it IS me.

I'm glad it's Friday. I have to go into work a little today, but shouldn't be more than a couple quick hours. Usually Friday's are pretty minimal, which is a perk to my job. I've designed it to be that way, honestly, where the majority of the work is heavy loaded towards the beginning of the week, and towards the end of the week, I'm free, and can do whatever I want.

So, what do you do, you ask? Well, I run a farm – a hydroponic farm, to be more exact, where we grow greens in an indoor greenhouse, year-round, without soil. Everything grows in rain-gutter-like trays, where nutrient rich water flows continuously to the roots, 24/7. If there were titles, I would be the COO. I'm the “2nd in command”, so to speak, just below the owner and CEO (again, if we had titles).

When I came into the company about 2 years ago, my job was pretty loaded and heavy. I was not only in charge of overseeing everything that happens on the farm and business end, but I was also its main worker – everything from maintenance, the head grower, team lead, harvesting, order prep, but also the backend stuff, like managing the website, customer service, all sales accounts, supply, and more. It was a lot. But, to make a long and crazy story rather short, let's just say that Covid-19 was a good thing for us, in terms of business. At first, we almost had to shut down, as we lost all our restaurant accounts, which were what kept the business alive back then. But, I created a plan to push everything towards the public through a subscription program and a new farm stand open, and that took over and has now tripled the company. Sounds easy now, as a summary, but good hell was it an insane amount of work for about a year.

I was able to hire more staff, including more managers, and spread out the work load that I was doing, into 5 other full time people. (It's still so crazy to look back on and remember that I used to do it all myself). So now, I have it pretty easy. I get to be the boss and still oversee the entire company, but now I have several managers in place that I support, and they take it from there.

I designed the culture and work schedules to be entirely rebellious from what the normal work environment was like. For example, I got rid of the slave-based concept of the 40-hour work week. It's an outdated system, and total crap, and I don't want to work it, and neither does anyone else. So, we don't do it. We purposefully have our schedules and the operations of the entire farm set to be heavy loaded, so we work a lot early in the week, and then are free towards the end. Of course, if there's something that needs to be done, we do it, even through the weekends – having that level of openness, willingness and commitment is still essential. But we realize that through working hard, and working smarter, we can have more time to enjoy life.

I also make my entire team read the book, Essentialism, and together, we cut out all the crap that doesn't really benefit us, at all, and focus deeply, and passionately, on the things that really matter and make the biggest differences in our work. We do less, but we do it better.

I think I work 25-32 hours a week, on average, and make more now than I did in Executive positions at all my previous corporate / start-up jobs. Plus, the part that I love, is that I get to help our community directly, with fresh, healthy food that goes to hundreds of families every week. I get to be a part of a really cool movement that inspires and empowers others to live healthier lives, and to live more consciously. Way better than trying to manipulate people into buy some cheaply made product from China that really doesn't benefit humanity in any way, destroys our environment, and just feels wrong to do. (I used to run a very popular headphone company years ago).

Today I need to do “my rounds” of checking key areas of the farm, verifying invoicing has gone out for the week, and prep a little for next week, and then I'm done for the day – should only take 2-3 hours.

Well, time to just sit on my large, cozy couches, and observe the random chaos of the mind flowing down the stream of consciousness... plus coffee.

More later...

/mg

“Men go abroad to wonder at the heights of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motions of the stars, but they pass by themselves without wondering.”

-Saint Augustine

//6:10 pm

For dinner tonight, we made whole wheat penne pasta, and used tomato sauce mixed in with this homemade, vegan, “cheese” sauce that we like. It's made of cashews, mostly, as well as a few seasonings, and lime juice. It's pretty great. We've been having it a lot lately, mostly on what we call, “Mexi-bowls”, which is basically an open burrito in a bowl that you just eat out of, using the tortilla as the bottom layer.

I've been plant-based for 13 years now, (vegan), and lately have become very strict with myself about eating a whole-foods, plant-based diet, and not eating any junk or processed “foods” at all. Previously, we would enjoy a lot of processed stuff, such as the fake meats, fake cheeses, treats, and especially potato chips, which I have an unhealthy relationship with. Even cooking with oils in most things. But, all that is gone now. And in the last 2 weeks, with just cutting out the junk and oil and processed garbage, I've lost 12 pounds. Pretty great, right? I've been binging a lot of videos from NutritionFacts.org again, which has helped me do a good reset and cut out the garbage edible substances that come in brightly colored packages, and poses as something we call food. Even as a vegan, you can still be massively unhealthy, which I admit, I wasn't the best. But, moving forward, I'm doing pretty awesome and going to stay strict with myself. 

---

My girlfriend agreed to watch all the episodes of Seinfeld with me a few months ago. At first, she didn't seem into it. But after a few episodes – maybe after the first season, or so – it was obvious she loved it and had a great time getting through the remaining episodes. But, when it was done, she asked if I would watch her favorite show, Friends, in return – which I agreed to after some deep sighs... (yay, boyfriend points). We watched an episode of that while eating tonight, which we've been doing every night lately to just get through the show. I think we just started season 3? I have to admit, it's not the most horrible thing I've ever watched, as there are some funny parts to it. But I think I do maintain my dislike for it still overall, even though I'm open to my mind being changed. I'm rather picky with TV – usually never watching any of it – and overall dislike society, and it's “consumables” in general. Sometimes the earlier episodes of any show are total garbage, and it takes them some time to get rolling and crank out some good stuff, so I'm open to that being the case with this show. But, mostly, I think I just enjoy zoning out and de-stressing from the work day, and am fine watching just about anything, really. Other times, we'll put on an interesting documentary, or some science/health videos, or won't watch anything and just enjoy eating with each other and just being.

---

We cleaned up dinner together, and I returned to my 'geek station', which is my monster of a gaming computer with three screens, which is where I go to just get away a lot, and my lady is out on the back deck doing some journaling and meditation. The rain has stopped, and the skies have cleared, and the sun is shining again. It's turned out to be a pretty beautiful evening, considering it was rainstorms all day. We like to have our own separate time after work to just re-center, focus on whatever creative pursuits we want to focus on, or to just relax quietly if we want. Then we'll sync up again later and do something together such as read, do some project, talk, go on a walk or to the gym, or just watch something before going to sleep. Pretty simple, but sometimes simplicity is what wins. 

---

I'm considering taking her to the gym later, which she loves. She's a gym nut, for sure. I like to stay healthy and active, but working out isn't “fun” for me. For her, she loves it. It's totally “fun” for her. Which, for me, doesn't make sense. I mean, I get sweaty AF and curse non-stop, and I'm not really that out of shape. I can hike 100 miles in a week, easy, and I've done so many times this year already. But, just willingly going to the gym and destroying myself sounds worse than my grandma screaming her way through explosive diarrhea with a bad case of hemorrhoids. Yeah, you read that correctly. Is it true? Not at all. But we can't undo it now, can we. 

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I think I'm going to add some notes and info into my Joplin note app, about some book/story ideas I've had growing in there for a decade or more (previously using Evernote before switching the Joplin about a year ago). I've always wanted to write a book, as many people have, and have dozens of ideas written out that I keep pouring notes into – scene ideas, more details on characters, dialogue, or working out some puzzle or complication with the story itself. I go in spurts of working on these, usually focusing on them for a week at a time, whenever the creative interest hits me again, and then maybe I'll step away from it for a while until the inspiration hits again. But, I've got a load of info that's ready to be logged and sorted out, so I'll focus on that for a while tonight. Maybe some day I'll actually get to organizing things and get something written out? 

More later.

Peace and plants.

/mg