i was up very early. only 5 hours of sleep. i still feel tired of course but maybe i will nap later. now i am just scrolling facebook looking for someone to chat with. i dont want to bother anyone if they are busy , i dont want to be a pest to someone either. sometimes i just need to connect with a friend, like a check in saying i am ok. when you dont live alone you take for granted that your someone will always be there with you.
so my brain is working some what ok today. will try and make a few entries before i go back to work. i am sort of half and half . i want to go back , but like being home too. i like being able to do my chores in a more relaxed manner. most times i am rushing because i have to be at work, or i am too tired because i just got home. self care is very important for me now. i have to be so careful about how i do things so i dont hurt myself. i am trying to stay positive mentally but take that day by day.
i have some chores that need to be done today. will work on those as energy levels dictate. i am working on a knitted bear, it will have to stay at home as following a pattern at work is almost impossible. too many distractions. so far i am only bringing the sewing to work to work on. it really does help pass the time and i finish something too.
i have started to take down some of the outside xmas stuff. will need the stepstool to do the rest. i think i will leave the lights up but will take down the ornaments and garland. i really like the lights.
i put out the bird feeder again yesterday. no birds yet but it wont take long for the birds to find it, or the chipmonks.
i look at the box i have brents ashes in and wonder what will happen to him when i am gone. my son has said he would make sure we stay together. that gave me some comfort. i have been buying seasonal silk flowers to put on his box. i often wonder if he likes it. if nothing else i do. i think it reminds me i still think of him, every day.
i need to write a letter this week to. i have a penpal in the uk. i also was writing to 2 ladies here , but i dont think they want to continue writing after i sent them a letter in dec. thats ok. everyones life is different, and i know mine sure is after brent died.
i am going to break here for now and work some more on the teddy bear. back after supper.
typical of me....thought i posted this